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Dealing with Negative Emotions in a Positive Way

2015-12-09

The Great Mughal Emperor Shahanshah Akbar asked his Grand Vizier Birbal, one day - "Birbal, can you think of one and only one sentence, that would make me sad if I were happy and happy when I am feeling sad?"

The wise Birbal quickly replied - "This too, shall pass!"


It's not that we don't know difficult times are also going to pass and our ship is going to sail through. But sometimes we simply lose our grip on this fundamental fact. Happens even to the strongest of people, the sanest, most sensible and most level-headed of people too. Do not feel bad about it, do not let it break your confidence. Everyone comes to a point where all you see around yourself is negativity. Negative people, negative emotions, negative everything. Even the sky turns gray and the sun goes on a holiday. We cannot stop it from raining, but we can learn to float paper boats in the flowing water instead, isn't it?

Handling Negativity Positively - Is it Really Possible?

YES! It is ABSOLUTELY possible. All emotions have a force, a power that we seldom learn to recognize and identify. I will give you an example. Have you ever got up one fine day feeling so fine that nothing in the world could bring you down and like you could take on absolutely anything? How did you feel the rest of day? You felt great and on top of the world, didn't you? Similarly on the days you get up with this heavy boulder in your gut, you can take it from me, you are gonna have a boring day. Does that mean we are at the mercy of our emotions? NO! It means we can drive the power and energy that emotions have in the right direction to our benefit. Bogged down by a bad score on your test? Use the disappointment to make yourself work harder! Sad about your dog's death? Adopt a stray puppy and give it a home. Angry over your friend? Wear your trainers and hit the track. Run your frustration and anger out of your system!

How To Deal with Negative Emotions?

To make it easy for you to follow, I am going to group all negative feelings under three categories and then give you ways to tackle with each of them. I am sure it will work for you, as it did for me and few of my friends. At the end of each, I have given a special tip that personally works for me. So ready? Here we go...

~ Sadness ~
...sadness, blues, down, gloomy,
depression, hopelessness, pessimism,
despair, dejected, unhappy, mopey...


Feeling any of that? Sadness, or any of the above emotions, incapacitate you from having a good time and enjoying your life! It stops you from being happy. Sadness is a negative emotion in its purest form, and it is one that hits most of us, and also hits us the most. The best way to get rid of sadness is to find yourself some company. Friends, family-members, even pets for that matter. It is a fact that animals have emotions. My German shepherd Jerry (May his soul rest in peace) had this uncanny ability to know exactly when I was feeling sad. He would then roll himself into my blanket and fake like he was caught in it and would try to wriggle himself out. He would keep peeping out of the blanket to see if I were smiling or not, and he would keep doing it till I did! And the moment I smiled, he would come and jump all over me. Do things that you love doing, things that make you happy. Make yourself some hot chocolate, or a chocolate shake, read a book, listen to music, watch funny movies, and let the tears flow if they want to. Crying is like a therapy; I simply cannot understand why people find it so hard to cry. You shouldn't block those tears. Let them come out. Cry till you can cry no more, and promise yourself that you will never cry about the same thing again.

My Mantra - Look in the mirror and kiss your reflection. As downright ridiculous as that sounds, it actually lifts your spirits!

~ Anger ~
...frustration, irritation, touchy, angry,
mad, upset, furious, rage, crossness,
wrath, resentment, grumpy, grouchy...


Anger is short madness; and believe me when I say this, madness is addictive. The absolute best thing to do when you are angry is just slip on your trainers and hit the track. Run it out, sweat it out, channelize all your anger into your legs and run, Run, RUN. At the end of it, you will have driven all the anger out of your system, and probably also burned a couple-hundred calories. Isn't that good? The next best thing to do is to take it out on a pillow. Hit the pillow, throw it around, squeeze down on it. It feels mighty good! If that doesn't work too, then just play some loud music and dance. Head bang. Most of the time the things we get angry at are not even worth it. And that is why I believe anger is one of the easiest negative emotions to tackle. All you have to do is diffuse the anger. And the best way to do that is let it out.

My Mantra - Play Eminem songs on your iPod and sing them out, loud n clear, WITH the swear words. Of course, don't forget to bolt your door and shut the windows!

~ Other Emotions ~
...jealousy, inferiority, suspicion, fear,
hatred, loathing, possessiveness, grudge,
nervousness, anxiousness, boredom...


Each of the above emotions has very simple and basic cures, as I will shortly explain. Jealousy arises from mistrust - learn to trust. Inferiority stems from low self-worth - love yourself. Suspicion in any relationship comes out of insecurity - build a strong, deep bond. Fear comes only and only out of lack of knowledge - strive to enlighten yourself about things you don't know. Hatred comes more out of dissatisfaction with yourself - groom yourself. Possessiveness arises out of mistrust - learn to trust people and have faith in yourself. Grudges do you no good at all - accept the apology and move on. Anxiousness come out of lack of self-confidence - know yourself and have faith. Boredom - well; there is one thing I cannot understand. For I believe in what Robert Louis Stevenson said - The world is so full of a number of things, I'm sure we should all be as happy as kings!

My Mantra - Nip it in the bud. Address the cause, and the effect will automatically be taken care of.

The Ultimate Mantra
- Laugh, A LOT.

In the end, I have only one thing to say; negativity - in any form, of any kind, for any reason - is totally not worth it and a complete waste of time and energy! It is tiring, and unnecessary. The sooner you grab on this fact, the quicker are you going to march towards a life full of positivity, peace and contentment. I am on my way already... are you going to join me?
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