“听过很多道理,却依然过不好这一生。”
曾经我站在人生的十字路口,
琢磨走哪条会过好自己这一生,
当时的我常阅读、找前辈讨经验、网搜心得,
以为听了他人的忠告,
自己就能找到一条成功的捷径。
后来我发现,自己面对的
只是一条条深浅不一的河流,
当年天真地以为可以照着别人所说的而活,
事实上每个人都不过是根据自己的能耐,
选择了当时自己唯一能过的那条河。
如果时间倒流,我的选择依旧如此,
会踏入同一条河流里。
对于每个人来讲过去都是无法改变的,
即便你能回到过去,该发生的依旧会发生,
人总会去到那条属于你自己的路上徘徊,
那是烙印在你灵魂里的欲望。
因为那都是'你'做出的决定。
即使套用了别人的人生模型上总结的公式,
你以为你绕过了命运的考验,
实际上你只会以其他形式再次遇见它。
因为这世界每个人没有完全一样的“因果”。
属于你的南墙,你总会去撞;
属于你的黄河,你总要去跳。
这是真实的你做出的必然选择。
那都是你的罪孽。
其实,没有人能帮你走出迷雾。
所以,等到你撞了南墙,跳了黄河,
不管你走了多少路,
是开心还是悲痛是低谷还是高峰,
你听到了你内心最深处的欲望,
等到自己内心隐约的那丝微光发出万丈光芒,
是了,你本应该就在这里。
所有撞的南墙、走的弯路,
都是在打磨出真的自己。
浓缩成自己的经验,自然而然印在生命里。
那才是你的福祉。
因此,浓鸡汤和大道理,一十也不再复读,
今天就讲一些切实可行的小建议和小道理。
积少成多,厚积薄发。
ε?з
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Life Lessons Advice
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A List of Wisest Words
(不给翻译?没错,学会自己诠释)
? Have a firm handshake.
? Look people in the eye.
? Sing in the shower.
? Own a great stereo system.
? Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen every day.
? Always accept an outstretched hand.
? Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
? Avoid sarcastic remarks.
? Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 percent of all your happiness or misery.
? Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.
? Lend only those books you never care to see again.
? Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.
? When playing games with children, let them win.
? Give people a second chance, but not a third.
? Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
? Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems.
? Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for our convenience, not the caller's.
? Be a good loser. Be a good winner.
? Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.
? When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.
? Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.
? Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.
? Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.
? Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets
? Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.
? Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
? Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you.
? Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.
? Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes.
? Begin each day with some of your favourite music.
? Once in a while, take the scenic route.
? Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, ‘Someone who thinks you're terrific.‘
? Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.
? Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m.
? Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job.
? Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.
? Make someone's day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you.
? Become someone's hero.
? Marry only for love.
? Count your blessings.
? Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.
? Wave at the children on a school bus.
? Remember that 8O per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people.
? Don't expect life to be fair
? Life isn't fair. but it's still good.
? Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
? Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
? Pay off your credit cards every month.
? You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
? Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
? Save for retirement. starting with your first paycheck.
? make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
? lt's OK to let your children see you cry.
? Don't compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
? If a relationship has to be a secret. you shouldn't be in it.
? Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living. or get busy dying.
? You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
? A writer writes. If you want to be a writer. write.
? lt's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
? When it comes to going after what you love in life. don't take no for an answer.
? Burn the candles; use the nice sheets; wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
? Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
? The most important sex organ is the brain.
? No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
? Frame every so-called disaster with these words:
“In five years. will this matter?'
? That other people think of you is none of your business.
? Time heals almost every-Thing. Give time time.
? However good or bad a situation is. it will change.
? Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
Believe in miracles.
? Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
? Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
? Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
? Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
? If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.
? Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
? All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
? ? The best is yet to come.
? No matter how you feel. get up. dress up. and show up.
? Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
? If you don't ask. you don't get.
? Life isn't tied with a bow. but it's still a gift.
? There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them
? Never cancel dinner plans by text message.
Don't knock it till you try it.
? If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.
? Always use 'we' when referring to your home team.
? When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
? Just because you can doesn't mean you should.
? Don't dumb yourself down.
? Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.
? Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first girl/boyfriend.
? Hold your heroes to a high standard.
? A suntan is earned, not bought.
? Never lie to your doctor.
? All guns are loaded.
? The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it's only once.
? Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.
? Don't fill up on bread, no matter how good.
? A handshake beats an autograph.
? Don't linger in the doorway. ln or out.
? If you choose to go in drag, don't sell yourself short.
? If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.
? When you're with new friends, don't just talk about old friends.
? When traveling, keep your wits about you. Nomatter where you are.
? It's never too late for an apology.
? Don't pose with booze. It's unbecoming.
? If you have the right of way, TAKE lT.
? You don't get to choose your own nickname.
? When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.
? Never push someone off a dock.
? Under no circumstances should you ask a woman
if she is pregnant.
? lt's not enough to be proud of your ancestry, liveup to it.
? Don't make a scene.
? When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.
? Know when to ignore the camera.
? Never gloat.
? Make time for your mother on your birthday. lt's a special day for her too.
? When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.
? Sympathy is a crutch. Never fake a limp.
? Give credit. Take blame.
? Suck it up every now and then.
? Don't stare.
? Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.
? Stand up to bullies. You only have to do it once.
? If you've made your point, stop talking.
? Admit it when you're wrong.
? If you offer to help don't quit until the job is done.
? Look people in the eye when you thank them.
? Thank the bus driver.
? Never answer the phone at the dinner table.
? Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
? Know at least one good joke.
? Don't boo. Even the ref is somebody's son.
? Know how to cook one good meal.
? Learn to drive manual/stick shift.
? Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.
? It's okay to go to the movies by yourself
? Don't lose your cool. Especially at work.
? Always thank the host.
? If you don't understand, ask before it's too late.
? Know the size of your boyfriend/girlfriend's clothes.
? There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.
? Be a good listener. Don't just take your turn to talk.
? Keep your word.
? Carry your mother's bags. She carried you for 9 months.
? Be patient with airport security. They arejust doing their job.
? Don't be the talker in a movie.
? The opposite sex likes people who shower.
? You are what you do. Not what you say.
? Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.
? An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.
? If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.
? You won't always be the strongest or fastest. But you can't be the toughest.
? Never call someone before or after 9am and 9pm.
? Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.
? Make the little things count.
? There is a fine line between looking sultryand slutty. Find it.
? You're never too old to need your Mom.
? Ladies, if you make the decision to wearheels on the first date commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut abouthow much your feet kill.
? Know the words to your national anthem.
? Your dance moves might not be the best,but l promise making a fool of yourself is
more fun than sitting on the bench alone.
? Smile at strangers.
? Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.
? lf you HAVE to fight, punch first and punch hard.
? Eat food that makes you feel good.
? Indulge in a “guilty” pleasure.
? Exercise in a fun or calming way.
? Relax and detox in a sauna.
? Have a deep conversation with a supportive loved one.
? Write about your thoughts and feelings in a journal.
? Foam roll — release tension in your body.
? Go to the beach or to a location near water by yourself.
? Sit in silence ad focus on your breathing from your core.
? Create a relaxation playlist or find a pre-made one online.
? Learn and perform acupressure on yourself.
? Take a walk in nature.
? Plan an evening of rest: no to-do’s or rushing around.
? Take a class you've always wanted to take (cooking, martial arts,
music...)
? Dance in your underwear to a favorite song.
? Find something to be thankful for in the moment.
? Watch your favorite movie (and turn off your distracting devices and
social media).
? Spend time with your pets or with shelter animals who need love.
? Read inspirational quotes or listen to inspirational stories and speeches.
? Hug someone or something special to you.
? Watch the sunset while drinking a nice beverage.
? Sleep in, and feel good about it.
? Write a list of 10 things you love about yourself.
? Take a drive to a beautiful place.
? Declutter your living space.
? Go on a coffee date with yourself.
? Check in with yourself. Ask yourself: “What do l
need today?' Then, go do that thing!
? Bake your favorite treats simply because you want to.
? Get dressed up and take selfies for fun. Don't post them unless it
makes you feel good to do it.
? Watch or read something that makes you laugh.
? Sing — by yourself or with your favorite duet partner.
? Write yourself a love letter.
? Sketch, paint, or color.
? Plant flowers, plants, or vegetables.
? Light heavenly scented candles.
? Take a shower with dim lighting and your relaxation playlist (that
you created thanks to number 13).
? Write a letter forgiving yourself for something you've been upset
about.
? Stargaze.
? Start fresh every single day
? Check your credit card statements. bank account and pay stubs regularly
? Adopt a 'meatless Monday' mentality
? Understand that exercise doesn't have to be a big time commitment
? Don't try to keep up with the Jonses, you'll lose
? Practice safe sex. Always
? NEVER grocery shop on an empty stomach
? Stop beating yourself up
? Eat whole foods as much as possible
? Consolidate and pay off debt ASAP
? Don't overdo the booze
? Don't snack if you're not hungry
? Stand up for yourself
? Avoid tanning beds like the plague
? Take medication seriously
? Listen to your body
? Don't skimp on sleep.
? Do mental health checks
? Read labels on everything from food to makeup
? Prioritize stress management
? Optimize your fertility, if you plan on kids
? Always wear a seatbelt, even in a taxi
? Floss after every brushing
? Sneeze into your arm. not your palm
? Count to 10 when you're angry
? Learn to take constructive criticism
? Never let Google diagnose you
? Go for women you perceive to be 'out of your league.' You'll surprise yourself.
? Never have sex with anyone that doesn't want it as much as you.
? Every hat should serve a purpose.
? Never take her to the movies on the first date.
? Learn to wet shave.
? Nothing looks more badass than a well-tailored suit.
? Shave with the grain on the first go-around.
? Always look a person in the eye when you talk to them.
? Buy a plunger before you need a plunger.
? Give a firm handshake.
? lf you aren't confident, fake it. lt will come.
? You can tell the size of a man by the size of things that bother him.
? Be conscious of your body language.
? The only reason to ever point a gun at someone is if you intend to shoot them.
? Always stand to shake someone's hand.
? Never lend anything you can't afford to lose.
? Ask more than you answer. Everybody likes to talk about themselves.
? Keep a change of clothes at the office.
? Buy high quality tools, so you only have to buy them once.
? Manliness is not only being able to take care of yourself, but others as well.
? Go with the decision that will make for a good story.
? When you walk, look straight ahead, not at your feet.
? Nice guys don't finish last. Boring guys do.
? Find your passion and figure out how to get paid for it.
? Don't let the little head do the thinking for the big head.
? No matter their job or status in life, everyone deserves your respect.
? The most important thing you can learn is personal responsibility. Bad things happen, it's your job to overcome them.
? The first one to get angry loses.
? Do what needs to be done without complaining. It won't help speed things up.
? Always go out into public dressed like you're about to meet the love of your life.
? Don't change yourself just to make someone happy, unless that someone is you.
? If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.
? Luck favors the prepared.
? Women find confidence sexy as hell.
? Do whatever you want to do in the life, but be the best at it.
? Handwritten 'Thankyou“ cards aren't outdated. Use them.
? Judge no one. Just improve yourself.
? Make sure everyone hastheir plate before you start eating.
? We don't always have to bethe center of attention. but we are always noticed. lt is our signature
ε?з
《东邪西毒》有过一段这样的话:
当你翻越一片沙漠,才会发现,
那不过是另一片沙漠。
对,人生该走的弯路一步都少不了,
我不后悔自己曾经做的每一件事情,
因为每一件事情都让我学到了很多。
我们总是用“我能做到什么”来定位自己,
而别人用“你已经做过什么”来判断你。
想到与得到之间,还有两个字:做到。
知易行难,理可顿悟,事须渐修。
过不好这一生,那就过好这一刻。
撞一撞我的南墙,跳一跳我的黄河。
别蹉跎。
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