Do Chinese parents still call the shots in their children's marriages?

(People's Daily Online) 10:25, January 16, 2015

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Love is never a matter between only two people. A blessing from the parents is still valued by most Chinese.

According to an on-line survey conducted by China Youth Daily, of 21,727 respondents, 52 percent of them will need parental approval when choosing a boyfriend or girlfriend; 12 percent of them are not sure; and 61 percent will value their parents' opinion.

However, some people remain cornered by their parents' opinion. A friend of mine, 28, is an only child. All the three girlfriends he has had so far have been rejected by his parents. He needs to spend more time with a girl to decide whether she will be a suitable wife. But every time, his parents have rushed to reject his choice. Now he is confused : Who is in this relationship - me or my parents? Do I have the ability to love?

According to the survey, when choosing a girlfriend or a boyfriend, parents and children have different standards. Parents value family background most (63.4 percent) and the second factor is personality (56.4 percent); while young people value personality most (61 percent), and the second factor is appearance (32.9 percent).

This is easy to understand: the well-being of their children is always the most important thing for parents, so they want a girlfriend or boyfriend from a decent family.

A netizen said: "Maybe you can ignore your parents' opinion, but can you avoid ever going to your parents' home? So we all have to face reality." Marriage, in simple terms, is a lifetime contract. Parents have gone through many trials and hardships. They are involved in their children's lives, because they don’t want their children to be involved in the wrong marriage.

In fact, the parents of 78 percent of respondents approved their partner. Of course, even if the parents didn't approve, half of the couples stayed together. And one fifth of the respondents still have no idea on how to deal with parents' disapproval.

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