'If given the chance, which one would you chose to date, a man with relationship experience or a man without?' my friend Lily asked me during brunch.
我的朋友莉莉早午餐的时候问我：“如果有机会，你会选择跟那一个人谈恋爱，有恋爱经验的还是没有恋爱经验的？”
She is in love with a man, who has six ex-girlfriends. Lily is not happy about his 'rich relationship experience' and thinks he is too 'oily' and 'insincere.'
她目前正跟一个男人热恋中，那个人有6个前女友。莉莉并不喜欢他的“丰富情感经历”，认为他太“油滑”、“不真诚”。
'He knows all the tricks too well, and it somehow makes me feel that he is not really that sincere with this relationship,' Lily complained.
莉莉抱怨说：“他对各种把戏手段太熟悉了，有时不知道为什么让我觉得他并不是真诚地对待这段感情。”
He does all the right things. He buys flowers and chocolate on Valentine’s Day, takes her to dinner on their anniversary, and even buys her an expensive handbag when she is feeling blue. But Lily thinks it is too cliched and follows a routine.
他做的事情都是正确的。情人节那天他送上鲜花和巧克力，周年纪念日带她去吃大餐，甚至当她心情不好时还给她买了一个昂贵的手提包。但是莉莉认为他太老套、好像例行公事。
No matter how hard she tries, she cannot shake the feeling that something is standing between them. It’s as if there is a place in his heart that she cannot walk into, she said.
无论她如何努力，都摆脱不了这种他们之间好像有某种隔阂的感觉。莉莉说，这就好像他心里有个地方不能让她踏足一样。
Lily blames it all on his ex-girlfriends and thinks things would be better if he had never dated anyone else before her. But come on, really?
莉莉把这一切都归咎于他的前女友，并且认为如果在自己之前对方从未谈过恋爱的话，事情就会好得多。但是得了吧，真的是这样吗？
I’m not one to judge, and I don’t exactly know how he feels about her, but if I had to choose between a newbie and an experienced date, I would definitely go with the latter.
我不是要对他们评头论足，我也不知道他对莉莉的感觉如何，但如果我有机会在一个新手和一个花中老手做选择的话，我肯定会选择后者。
As the popular saying goes, 'Your partner is your school,' which means that even a failed relationship can teach people and help them grow.
常言道“你的对象就是你的学校”，这就意味着即使一段失败的关系也能教会并有助于人们成长。
It is through his previous experiences that he learned how to love and be loved, and how to get along with his partner and deal with troubles in a relationship. To some extent, you should feel grateful to your partner’s ex or exes because it is through their efforts that your lover has grown into the man you like.
正是通过以前的经验他才能学会如何爱人和被爱，以及学会如何跟对象相处、并处理两人之间的问题。在某种程度上，你还应该感激你对象的前任，因为正是由于他们的努力，你的爱人才能成长为你现在喜欢的这个样子。
However, it does not mean that choosing someone with greater experience is not without its pitfalls. While one’s ex can be a 'training school,' he or she can also be a painful memory that hinders your relationship with your partner. It is why some people find it hard to fall in love again after experiencing failed relationships. Also, a person with too many exes might not be capable of being in a long-lasting relationship.
然而，这并不意味着选择一个情感经历丰富的人就没有半点缺陷。尽管一个人的前任可能是他的“培训学校”，但是他们也可能是一个痛苦的回忆，会妨碍你和对象的关系。这就是为什么有些人在经历一段失败关系之后会觉得很难再爱。同样的，前任太多的人也许同样不能维持一段长久的关系。
If Lily’s boyfriend was a blank slate, she might not have fallen in love with him. Sure, he wouldn’t know any 'tricks.' But he also wouldn’t know how to humor or comfort her, let alone romantic gestures.
如果莉莉的男朋友是一张白纸，那么她可能根本不会爱上他。当然，他也不会知道任何“把戏”。但是他也不知道如何逗笑和安慰她，更不用说玩浪漫了。
As for the distance she feels between them, closing it requires good communication from both sides.
至于莉莉谈到的他们之间的距离感，必须要双方之间良好的沟通交流才能消除。
The 'sincerity issue' depends more on the individual and how the two get along. It has very little to do with whether or not he has had relationships before her.
“真诚问题”更多地取决于个人和双方如何相处。这和他之前谈没谈过恋爱没有多大关系。
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