父母坦言：给孩子取名太烦恼（中英文双语）

  

 

 

   Recently I was talking to a friend who was considering whether to make a name change.
   

    Not her own name. Her one-year-old son's middle name. She wants to switch the name to honor her son's deceased grandfather. (In Jewish tradition, it's typical to honor departed relatives by naming children after them.)
   

    I listened to my friend closely, because deciding my son's middle name was an arduous task for my husband and me. We had many close relatives we wanted to honor and several great names to choose from. Is it too late, I've occasionally wondered, to make a change? Would it confuse my son, now 16 months? Would it insult the side of the family we named him after? And, more sheepishly, what about all the beautiful monogrammed gifts we received?

    Apparently my friend and I are not alone in facing baby-name remorse. A surprising number of parents have considered changing their children's names and some have even filed the paperwork and made the trek to civil court to do so. A piece on CNN.com cited a poll of 1,219 mothers conducted by BabyCenter.com, in which 10% considered changing their baby's name. Meanwhile, in the Washington Post, an essayist wrote about staring at her one month old daughter and realizing 'Oh man. We gave our kid the wrong name.' (She ended up changing the child's name to Summer from Presley.)

     Parents worry about giving their children too trendy or common a name one set of parents changed their daughter's name after they realized that 4 of the 13 kids in her daycare were named Sophie. Other parents simply fall in love with another name after the fact. Perhaps the name they loved during pregnancy just doesn't suit the child once his or her personality emerges. Or maybe the child has gotten unbearable flack for his or her name from relatives or friends.
   

    Psychologists say that by a year, most children already recognize the sound of their names, and that after age two, parents should seek the child's input and approval if they decide to make a change. 'It's best to change the name before then, because by 2 or 3 they have a sense of identity, and it could send mixed messages. The child might ask himself, 'Do you want to change me?'' Dr. Karla Umpierre, a Miami psychologist and family counselor, according to CNN.com.

 
    Parents these days invest loads of time and research into coming up with the perfect name not too common or trendy, but hopefully not too freakish that the kid will get a complex. 'Today, there's this perception that naming a child is almost like naming a product  there's this huge national drive now to not be like anyone else,' Laura Wattenberg, founder of the blog BabyNameWizard.com, according to CNN.com.
   

    The most common names, according to a Social Security Administration release last month, are Jacob, Michael and Ethan for boys, and Emma, Isabella and Emily for girls. But according to new research, most parents opt for less common names. In 2007, only 9% of boys had a name that ranked among the top 10 most popular names, compared to 1955 when 32% had a 'popular' name. The same trend held true for girls only 8% of girls had a top-10 name in 2007, compared to 22% in 1955.
   

    Baby names have been a popular topic here at the Juggle. Readers, have you ever had any naming remorse with your children or with your own name?
   

    最近，我同一位正考虑是否改名的朋友聊了一会。
   

    不是她自己的名字，而是她一岁儿子的中间名。她想换一下这个名字，以纪念孩子故去的爷爷。(按犹太人的传统，通常都会让孩子沿用离世的亲人的名字，以表纪念之情。）
   

    我认真倾听了朋友的讲话，因为决定我儿子的中间名对我的丈夫和我来说也是一项繁重的任务。我们有很多想要纪念的亲友，也有好几个名字需要从中选择。我时常会想，现在改名是否太晚？这会让现在16个月的儿子感到迷惑吗？是否会冒犯采用这个名字的那一部分家人呢？更令人为难的是，我们收到的那些嵌有名字的漂亮礼物怎么办？

 

    显然并非只有我的朋友和我对孩子的名字感到后悔。竟然有如此多的家长考虑给孩子改名，有的甚至不惜向民事法庭提交文件以达到这一目的。

CNN.com 的一篇报导援引了 BabyCenter.com 对1,219位母亲进行的调查，其中有10%的受访者考虑给孩子改名。与此同时，在《华盛顿邮报》，一位评论人写道，她盯着一个月大的女儿，突然意识到，“噢，天哪。我们给孩子起错名字了。” （她最终将孩子的名字从Presley改为了Summer。）
   

    父母担心给自己孩子起的名字太过时髦或是普通，当一对夫妻发现托儿所的13个孩子中就有四个名叫苏菲(Sophie)后，他们就给女儿改了名字。还有的家长只是在事后喜欢上了另一个名字。当孩子的个性逐渐显露出来的时候，她们在怀孕时喜欢上的名字或许不再适合了。或者孩子难以忍受亲友对其名字的演绎。

 
    心理学家说，到一岁时，大多数儿童都能听出是否在叫他们的名字，在两岁之后，如果父母决定给孩子改名，应该寻求孩子的参与并征得同意。CNN.com 的报导称，迈阿密心理学家、家庭辅导员安培瑞(Karla Umpierre)说，最后在此之前给孩子改名，因为到了两、三岁时，他们就会有认同感，而改名会发出混乱的讯息。孩子可能会问自己，你想改变我吗？

    如今，父母们都将大量的时间和精力用到钻研好名字上面，不要太普通，也不要太新潮，但也不要太怪异，免得对孩子的心理产生不好的影响。据 CNN.com 称，博客网站 BabyNameWizard.com 的创始人沃腾伯格(Laura Wattenberg)说，现在，有一种感觉是给孩子起名就像是给产品命名一样，目前全国都有一种不想同他人一样的巨大动力。
   

    据美国社会保障总署(Social Security Administration)上月发布的数据称，男孩中最常用的名字是雅各布(Jacob)、迈克尔(Michael)和伊桑(Ethan)，女孩中最常用的名字是艾玛(Emma)、伊莎贝拉(Isabella)和艾美丽(Emily)。但根据最新研究，大多数父母都倾向于不太常见的名字。在2007年，只有9%的男孩的名字位列十大最常用的名字之中，而1955年时这个比例是32%。女孩名字也是同样的趋势，2007年时只有8%的女孩的名字位列十大最常用的名字之中，而1955年时这个比例是22%。
   

    孩子的名字一直是《工作?家》栏目的一个热门话题。读者朋友们，你对孩子的名字或是自己的名字是否有后悔的时候？