Besides the meaning of life and the ingredients of hot dogs, many a man has questioned "what exactly do women want?" We're not playing coy here, we know we're complex creatures. And, true, we operate on a different wavelength than men. The best example of our gender difference comes from an article we read last year about why men cheat. The most compelling testimony was from a transgender man who'd undergone hormone therapy during his transition. Thanks to testosterone, the man noticed less of an emotional attachment to sex and more of a physical urge to engage, regardless of consequences. Fascinating.
除了生活的意义和制作热狗的佐料外，许多男性想知道：女性到底想要什么？我们不是在这绕弯子，我们深知自己是复杂的特种。是的，我们运转的思路与男性不同。去年我们读到的男性为何会欺骗的文章，是关于性别差异最好的例子。最令人信服的证据来自于一个变性人，在变性的过程中，他接受了激素疗法。由于睾酮的作用，其感受到的对性的情感依恋几乎没有了，更多的却是不计后果的身体方面的冲动。真是令人着迷。
So, we're different. But, women aren't exactly the great mystery that men often make us out to be. The proof? We polled the YourTango staff and compiled a list of 10 simple things women want. Note: you won't find diamond rings or other fancy things anywhere on this list. While many women really do want luxury goods from men, when you break it down they are just physical representations of some of the points on this list. We promise.
所以，我们是不同的。但是，女性并没有像男性让我们看起来的那般神秘。证据？我们调查了YourTango的工作人员，并罗列了女性想要的十种简单的事物的清单。注意：在这张清单上，你不会发现钻石耳环或者其他奢华的东西。然而许多女性确实想从男性身上获得奢华的物品，当你慢慢分析的时候，他们也只是清单上所列的物质表现而已。这一点，我们可以保证。
Respect. Show us through your actions that you respect our opinions, careers, interests, friends, bodies and minds. You don't have to agree with all that we say or do, but try to honor our opinions as valuable contributions. Follow the golden rule and treat us as you would like to be treated: Be honest, fair, kind, and considerate.
1、尊重：通过你的行为来表达你对我们的意见、工作、兴趣爱好、朋友及身体和意志的尊重。你不必同意我们所说或所做的一切，但请尽量把我们的意见视为是有价值的。按照原则做事，像你希望自己被对待的方式那样去对待别人：诚实、公正、友好而体贴。
Sex. Yes, we love sex. But, remember that there are four bases to cover in the bedroom, not just one. Try stopping at each base instead of being so focused on the home run—believe us, we'll thank you for it! Likewise, remember small physical touches like massages. One can never, ever, have too many shoulder rubs. And scratching our heads is pretty great, too.
2、性：是的，我们喜欢它。但，卧室包括四垒，而不仅仅是一个。试着在每一垒停留一下，而不是把全部精力投入到全垒打当中——相信我们，我们会因此感激不尽的。同样地，记住轻轻的身体的接触是需要的，比如按摩。一个人绝对不能有太多的揉肩。而抓搔我们的手会使我们感觉很棒的。
Romance. It's another night on the couch with take-out and TiVo? Just because we're staying in doesn't mean the evening can't be romantic. Light a few candles and see where the night leads. Treat us like your girlfriend, even after we become your wife. Date nights, making out in the car, kissing like when we first started dating—all of the things that made us fall in love with you don't have to stop just because now there are bills to pay, a house to be cleaned, and kids that need to get bathed. Bring home flowers for no reason. We're not talking $100 bouquets of roses here. Even the $10 bouquets from the supermarket are enough to make us smile.
3、浪漫：在另一个夜晚坐在沙发上吃着外卖看录像？就因为我们待在家里并不意味着我们不能制造浪漫。点上几支蜡烛，让烛光指引。即便我们已成夫妻，请像我是你女朋友时那样对待我们吧。夜晚约会，开车去兜风，像我们开始约会时那般吻我——让我们坠入爱河的那些美好时刻不要因为有账单要付，有房子要打扫，还要照顾孩子洗澡就统统没有了。不要问原因，带束花回家吧。并不是让你花100美金买一大束玫瑰。即便从超市里花10美金买的一小束鲜花也会让我们喜露笑容。
Time. We understand relationships can't be all wine and roses; simply making the time to be with us and treating us like your top priority says "love" more than all the fancy gifts and lovely letters ever could. This includes helping around the house. The realities of a 21st-century relationship are that both partners probably work. If you happen to get home before we do, why not take vacuum the living room or throw in a load of laundry? If you take the garbage out without being asked, chances are you'll be getting a big ole smooch when you come back. Read: 5 "Man Chores" That Will Get Him To Do Housework
4、时间：我们应该知道情侣关系不全是美酒和玫瑰；只要简单地腾出些时间和我们待在一起，不要总关注精美的礼品和甜蜜的情书，只要你不时的对我们表达爱。这包括帮助我们做些家务。21世纪的情侣关系面对的现实是他们可能都需要去工作。如果你碰巧比我们先一步到家，为何不清扫下房间或者洗下衣服呢？如果你主动地把垃圾倒掉，当你回来的时候你极可能会得到激情一吻。请阅读：“男性杂务”让他做家务。
Dinner. Of the homemade variety. You may not be good at cooking and you may not know how to boil water. But greeting us at the door after a long day with fish sticks (or whatever you can wrastle up) makes us swoon, because it shows that you've been thinking about us and our hectic day. Read: Cooking For Two
5、晚餐：面对诸多家庭菜，你可能并不擅长烹调，你可能连煮开水都不会。但当我们为了做鱼忙了整天的时候，起码问候下吧，（或者其他你能够想出来的）让我们狂喜的行动，因为这表示你一直想着我们及那么繁忙的一天。阅读：两个人的晚餐。
Communication. Women are vocal creatures. We know you love us, but it's nice to hear you say it, too. We can also be insecure. We wish we weren't, but the reality is that we often notice our wobbly thighs and forget about our gorgeous eyes. So let us know when you think we're hot. Tell us we're beautiful. It helps us feel good. Plus, when we feel sexy we're more likely to act sexy. Words of appreciation aren't half-bad either. Tell us you love the lasagna we made. Thank us for driving the kids to school. Notice that we cleaned the bathtub. It doesn't have to be over the top, just let us know that you see the effort we put in, and you're grateful. Which Love Language Do You Speak?
6、交流：女人天生是爱唠叨的生物。我们知道你爱我们，但听到你们说出来感觉是多么棒啊。我们还天性善变。我们不希望这样，但事实是我们经常是摇摆不定而忘记了我们的温柔的双眼。所以当你认为我们很火辣的时候请知之我们。告之我们是多么的美丽。这会让我们感觉很舒服。另外，当我们感觉自己很性感的时候，我们也会表现的很性感。感激的话语总是很受用的。告诉我们你喜欢吃我们做的宽面条。为我们开车接孩子回家而感激。注意到我们已经清洗了浴缸。这些不必是最重要的，只要让我们知道你注意到了我们的努力，并为之表示感激。你所说的感激之语是什么？
Consistency. This doesn't mean be boring and predictable. It means that we know you will (usually, no one is perfect!) give us the love and support we need. Knowing that you're coming at this with the same desires and energy as we are goes a long way to making us feel secure.
7、一贯性：这并不意味着无趣和可预知性。这意味着我们知道你将（实际上，没有人是完美的！）给予我们需要的关爱和支持。你要带着相同的渴望和活力，为了让我们感觉到安全，我们还有很长的一段路共度。
Engagement. Of the mental kind, not the "I'm getting married in the morning" kind. You don't have to like everything we like (we might be a little concerned if you do), but showing interest in our passions, be it career-related, a sport or a hobby, goes a long way. Listen when we talk to you. We're not speaking just so we can hear our own voice; we want to connect with you and this is one valuable way we do this. This also means paying attention to the little things. Whether it's the name of your best friend's husband or the fact that you hate Nicolas Cage movies, it's the little things you remember about us that's so endearing.
8、诺言：精神层面上的，而不是“我上午就要结婚了”的那种。你不必喜欢我们喜欢的一切（如果你真这样的话，我们会不安的），但请对我们的热情表示关注，无论它是与工作相关的，还是一项运动，抑或是一个爱好。当我们与你说话的时候留心听。我们不是说给自己听的，我们想要跟你交流，而且这是一种有用的方式。这也意味着对细小的事物要留心注意。不管它是你最好朋友的丈夫的名字，或者是你不喜欢尼古拉斯·凯奇演的电影。这就是你记得的我们讨人喜欢的小事情。
Humor and Humility. These two tend to go hand in hand. This doesn't mean that you have to crack jokes or entertain us, but just being able to laugh at yourself is enough. Guys who take themselves too seriously bring everyone down. Read: Self-Deprecating Humor Works
9、幽默与谦逊：这两种品格往往并驾齐驱。这并不意味着说你一定要开玩笑或者娱乐我们，只要敢于笑笑自己就足够了。那些太严肃的对待自己的人往往令人沮丧。阅读：自我抨击式幽默很管用。
Challenge. Not the kind that makes a relationship constant work, but the good kind that surprises and motivates us to do, be or achieve what we desire. Studies show that partners who prod each other to meet goals—in other words, don't support lazy or bad habits—are ultimately happier than those who don't hold each other accountable.
10、挑战：并不是那种让一段关系永久牢固的任务，而是那种可以让我们惊喜并激起我们这样做的事情，成为或者达到我们渴望的样子。研究显示彼此激励完成目标的配偶——换句话说，并不支持懒惰或者不好的习惯——基本上都比那些不互相督促的夫妻更快乐。
What have we left off the list? Let us know in the comments below.
我们的清单上遗漏了些什么？请在下面的评论中指出来。
相关文章：
联系客服
