笔译 | 看大师如何翻译《荷塘月色》

沿着荷塘，是一条曲折的小煤屑路。这是一条幽僻的路；白天也少人走，夜晚更加寂寞。荷塘四面，长着许多树，蓊蓊郁郁的。

Alongside the Lotus Pond runs a small cinder footpath. It is peaceful and secluded here, a place not frequented by pedestrians even in the daytime; now at night, it looks more solitary, in a lush, shady ambience of trees all around the pond.

【解析】

处理“蓊蓊郁郁”这一叠词，译者使用lush, shady来表现，其中前后相连的卷舌音'sh'从音韵上模仿了原文。

路的一旁，是些杨柳，和一些不知道名字的树。没有月光的晚上，这路上阴森森的，有些怕人。今晚却很好，虽然月光也还是淡淡的。

On he side where the path is, there are willows, interlaced with some others whose names I do not know. The foliage, which, in a moonless night, would loom somewhat frighteningly dark, looks very nice tonight, although the moonlight is not more than a thin, greyish veil.

【解析】

有没有注意到，描写景物时汉文倾向于用形容词，而英文偏抽象的名词，“月光也还是淡淡的”被处理成“a thin greyish veil”，强化了一种难以言喻的朦胧感。

路上只我一个人，背着手踱着。这一片天地好像是我的；我也像超出了平常的自己，到了另一世界里。

I am on my own, strolling, hands behind my back. This bit of the universe seems in my possession now; and I myself seem to have been uplifted from my ordinary self into another world.

【解析】

这一片天地好像是我的：This bit of universe seems in my possession now是不是有浮士德的影子？