Persuasion, it’s something we need to be able to use every day, even if it’s only to persuade our partners/spouses to put out the washing. Here are some fun ways in which you can can persuade others to do things for you:
1. Ask nicely: Boring, predictable. But it works. It’s more difficult to refuse someone who asks nicely. Use 'please', 'thank you', and express your gratitude after the event.
2. Do something for them before you need it: it's very difficult to refuse someone who has already done something for you. Make it a habit to be kind - it comes back to you. Be careful that you don’t do for them what you would like done for you. Observe them to see what they like and enjoy and then do THAT for them.
3. Ask and be willing to accept 'no'. Oddly enough, if you ask nicely and you are willing to accept no as an answer, more often than not, the answer is 'yes'. If you find that difficult, ask yourself what would be the worse likely thing that could happen if you are refused? Could you live with it? Probably. Also, if you graciously accept NO, it means that when you ask again, the answer is more likely to be YES.
4. Be honest: Honesty has a very disarming quality. If you openly admit that you want something for your own benefit, people respond to that. And it’s so unusual that people are often gobsmacked!
5. What’s in it for them? This doesn’t have to be something tangible, but if you emphasise the benefits to them of what you want, your efforts are more likely to be persuasive. Or promise something in return and then DELIVER!
6. Get someone who has a better relationship with them than you to ask! If you have ever asked someone out via your friend, you have done this.
7. Ladies: Use 'would', not 'could'. 'Would you get the shopping please?' is a lot more effective than 'Could you get the shopping please?' when making a request of the male in your life - as long as you say it in a light tone! Gritted teeth tends to undermine your persuasive powers in this situation!
8. Ask permission. Before you ask someone something, ask if they have time to listen to your request. You are immediately indicating your respect for their time.
9. Eliminate obstacles: Identify what might stop them and think of ways to eliminate them. Mention them in your request. For example, if you want a day off, you could say that you have already asked someone else to cover and that your work is up to date.
10. Make it easy and fun! If you want someone to do something for you, eliminate all the obstacles to them doing it. For example, if you want someone to attend a fund-raising night, make sure they know all the relevant details and don’t have to be contacting you again for information.
11. Express appreciation for what people do already. The best way to get people to do more for you is to notice and appreciate what they are already doing. Thanking your nearest and dearest for the household stuff they do already means they will probably be more open to any other requests you make of them.
12. Learn hypnosis: If everything else fails, try hypnosis. If Paul McKenna can convince people they are a donkey - just think what you could do…
Anne Walsh is a life coach with many years of experience based in Galway (www.annewalshcoach.com).
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