Europe is the migrant crisis, the Greek crisis, the euro crisis. It is the CAP, Ecofin and Eurostat. It is Schengen suspended, anti-Europeans on the march, and the imminent threat of Brexit.
欧洲面临着移民危机、希腊危机和欧元危机：统一农业政策、经济和金融事务委员会和欧洲统计局，还有暂停申根、三月的反欧盟者以及英国退欧之虞近在眼前。
But it is also the Finns who snicker at overbearing Swedes (“What’s the difference between the Swedes and the Finns? The Swedes have got nice neighbours”); and the Portuguese, who mock Spanish arrogance (“In a recent survey, 11 out of 10 Spaniards said they felt superior to the others”).
可问题还有芬兰人，他们笑话不可一世的瑞典人——瑞典人和芬兰人有什么不同？瑞典人可是有不少好邻居；还有葡萄牙人，他们嘲笑西班牙的自大。最近统计显示，10个西班牙人中，有11个认为自己高人一等。
There are the Irish, who joke about buttoned-up Brits (“What’s the English definition of a thrill? Having an After Eight at 7.30”); and the Poles, who have a go at the Germans for pretty much anything (“German footballers are like German food: if they’re not imported from Poland they’re no good”).
爱尔兰人笑话矜持的英国人，英国人怎么定义激动人心呢？七点半的时候吃一块“八点后”巧克力就足够了。至于波兰人，他们无论什么事都要和德国人较劲德国足球运动员有点像德国食品：如果不是波兰进口，就算不上优质的。
Making fun of our best enemies, said Romain Seignovert, who has just published a book on the jokes Europeans tell about their neighbours, is a great European tradition. “We are a big, diverse community with a centuries-long common history of highs and lows, and our humour reflects that,” he says.
Romain Seignovert刚刚出版一本欧洲人如何嘲笑邻居的书，他说，拿我们最棒的邻居寻开心是一个伟大的欧洲传统。“我们是一个庞大且多样的共同体，拥有几个世纪的共同历史，有高潮也有低谷，我们的幽默反映出这一点。”
De Qui Se Moque-t-On (Who do we make fun of?) features 345 jokes, many contributed by readers of Seignovert’s blog, Europeisnotdead. A 29-year-old Frenchman who studied in Spain and Germany and now lives in Brussels, Seignovert said the jokes underlined the adage that “teasing is a sign of affection. Some of them are pretty crude and unsubtle, but they’re rarely downright nasty”.
《我们笑话谁？》收集了345个笑话，不少来自Seignovert的博客“欧洲还没死”。这位29岁的法国人在西班牙和德国读书，现在居住在布鲁塞尔，他说这些笑话印证了这一格言，“打趣是一种爱。有的很粗俗，可绝不恶心。”
Thus the Estonians laugh at the hopelessly shy Finns (“How do you tell an extrovert Finn? It’s your shoes he’s looking at, not his”).
因此爱沙尼亚人嘲笑腼腆成灾的芬兰人。如何形容一个外向的芬兰人呢？他盯着你的鞋看，而不是埋头看自己的。
The Macedonians giggle at the (lack of) machismo of Greek men: “If you knew how to cook and clean,” says a Greek husband to his wife, “I wouldn’t need a maid.” “If you knew how to make love,” replies the wife, “I wouldn’t need a Macedonian lover.”
马其顿人嬉笑希腊人没有阳刚气：“如果你会做饭和打扫卫生的话，我就不需要女佣了。”一个希腊丈夫对妻子说。“如果你知道怎么做爱，我就不需要一个马其顿情人了。”妻子回答。
The only exception are the Italians, who rather endearingly make jokes mainly about themselves: “Your wife cracked such a good joke the other day, I almost fell out of bed.” “Notice on an Italian bus: don’t talk to the driver, he needs his hands.”
唯一的例外是意大利人，他们最讨人喜，更多地笑话自己。“那天你老婆讲了个笑话，我差点笑到床底下去。”“在意大利巴士上要小心：别和司机说话，他需要双手。”
Otherwise, though, the Belgians love nothing better than teasing the penny-pinching Dutch: (“How do all Dutch recipes begin? Borrow six eggs, 200g of flour, half a litre of milk …” or “Why do the Dutch make so many jokes about the Belgians? Because they’re cheap”)
可比利时人最喜欢调戏抠门的荷兰人。“荷兰菜谱怎么写？借六个鸡蛋、两百克面粉、半升牛奶……”“荷兰人为什么笑话比利时人？因为他们贫贱。”
And pretty much all their neighbours finds the Belgians a tiny bit slow: “Why do Belgians have pommes frites, while the Arab world has oil? Because the Belgians got to choose first.” And “What do Belgian mothers do when the baby’s bathwater is too hot? Put on a pair of gloves.”
所有邻国都认为比利时人有点傻。“为什么阿拉伯人有油，比利时人有炸薯条？因为比利时人先选。”“宝宝的洗澡水太烫，比利时妈妈会怎么做？戴上手套。”
There is a deeper point. Ultimately, Seignovert said, laughing at our neighbours is “recognising, even celebrating, our particularities. It shows we’re not indifferent. Europe isn’t just political and economic, it’s also cultural – about all these nations, living together. The EU hasn’t made enough of that.”
背后的意义很深刻，作者认为，说到底，通过嘲笑邻居“辨认甚至夸耀我们的特性，表明我们并不麻木，欧洲不仅是政治和经济的，还是文化的，各个民族生活在一起。欧盟在这方面做得还不够。”
That may be true. But Seignovert, remember, is French, so what he says should clearly not be taken too seriously. In the words of one particularly fine Belgian quip: “How does a Frenchman commit suicide? By shooting 15cm above his head, right in the middle of his superiority complex.”
可能说的没错，但别忘了，作者是个法国人，他说的话不用太当真。一个比利时段子说：“法国人怎么自杀？在脑袋顶15公分上方开枪，正中他自高自大的靶心。”
Other Brits on the (tight-fisted) Scots:
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are planning a party. “I’ll bring six pints of bitter,” says the Englishman. “I’ll bring six pints of Guinness,” says the Irishman. “I’ll bring six friends,” says the Scot.
不列颠其他地方的人嘲笑吝啬的苏格兰人：
一个英格兰人、一个爱尔兰人和一个苏格兰人准备聚会。英格兰人说：“我带6品脱苦酒。”爱尔兰人说：“我带6品脱黑啤酒。”苏格兰人说：“我带6个朋友。”
The Belgians on the (parsimonious) Dutch:
Dutch husband to Dutch wife: “Put your coat on, dear.” “Why, darling, are we going out?” “No, I am. So I’ll just turn the heating off.”
比利时人嘲笑抠门的荷兰人：
荷兰丈夫对妻子说：“亲爱的，穿上外套。”“亲，我们干嘛出门。”“不，是我要出门，所以我把暖气关了。”
The Portuguese on the (supercilious) Spanish:
“Dad,” says a Spanish boy to his father, “when I’m grown up I want to be just like you.” “That’s nice, son. Why?” “So I can have a son like me!”
葡萄牙人嘲笑自高自大的西班牙人：
一个西班牙男孩对爸爸说：“爸爸，我长到后要和你一样。”“不错，儿子，为什么呢?”“我可以有一个像我一样的儿子。”
The Italians on themselves:
Three reasons Jesus is an Italian: only an Italian son would live with his mama till he was 30. Only an Italian son could think his mama was still a virgin. Only an Italian mama could think her son was God.
意大利人自嘲：
耶稣是意大利人，理由有三：只有意大利的儿子30岁还和妈妈一起住。只有意大利儿子会以为老妈还是处女。只有意大利妈妈会认为他儿子是上帝。
The Belgians on the (arrogant) French:
Why did the French choose the cockerel as their national symbol? Because it’s the only animal that sings when it’s knee-deep in shit.
比利时人嘲笑高傲的法国人：
为什么法国人把小公鸡视作民族象征？因为这有这种动物杵在粪堆里就唱歌。
The Swedes on the (dim-witted) Norwegians:
Why do Norwegians have such greasy hair? They’ve let their oil go to their heads.
瑞典人嘲笑笨蛋挪威人：
为什么挪威人头发油乎乎的？因为他们大脑里全是油。
The Danes on the (overbearing) Swedes:
What’s the best ever thing to have come to us from Sweden? An empty ferry.
丹麦人嘲笑不可一世的瑞典人：
从瑞典迫来最棒的东西是什么？空渡轮。
The Estonians on the (hard-drinking) Finns:
Two Finns meet up for the first time in years. “So how are you?” asks Pekka. Ahti grunts and orders a beer. “And how’s the family?” asks Pekka. Ahti grunts and orders another beer. “And how’s work?” asks Pekka, three pints later. “Look,” says Ahti, “did we come here to drink, or to talk?”
爱沙尼亚人嘲笑爱喝酒的芬兰人：
两个芬兰人邂逅。Pekka说：“怎么样？”Ahti嘟囔着点了一杯啤酒。Pekka问：“家里人怎么样？” Ahti嘟囔着又点了一杯啤酒。喝了三品脱后，Pekka问：“工作怎么样？”Ahti说：“嘿，我们到这里喝酒还是说话？”
The Germans on the (thieving) Poles:
When is it Christmas in Poland? Two days after Christmas in Germany.
德国人嘲笑爱偷东西的波兰人：
波兰圣诞节是哪天？德国圣诞节两天之后。
The Swiss on the (not very bright) Austrians:
Why is the Austrian flag red-white-red? So they don’t get too confused when they hoist it.
瑞士人嘲笑不大灵光的奥地利人：
奥地利国旗为什么是红白红？升旗时不会搞颠倒。
The Austrians on the (boring) Germans:
The main difference between Austrians and the Germans is that Germans would like to understand Austrians but can’t, and Austrians understand Germans but would rather not.
奥地利人嘲笑无趣的德国人：
奥地利人和德国人的主要区别在于德国人想要搞明白奥地利人就是没办法，奥地利人能搞明白德国人，但宁愿不明白。
The Slovaks on the (despised) Czechs:
What does a Czech need to be happy? Not much, as long as everyone else has got less.
斯洛伐克人鄙视捷克人：
捷克人怎么才会高兴？没什么的，除非其他人不高兴。
The Romanians on the (mean-spirited) Hungarians:
“I’ve had all the tests, and the doctor tells me there’s no question, I’m xenophobic. That’s another bloody illness the Hungarians have given me.”
罗马尼亚人嘲笑心胸狭窄的匈牙利人：
“我做了所有检查，医生说我没问题，就是外国人恐惧症。这又是匈牙利人让我得的一种恶病。”
The Ukrainians on the (filthy rich but stupid) Russians:
“I’ve just bought a tie for $3,000.” “Idiot! You could have bought the same one just down the street for $5,000.”
乌克兰人嘲笑巨富巨蠢的俄罗斯人：
“买了条领带，才花三千美元。”“蠢货！再往前走走，你能花5000美元买同样的一条。”
The Macedonians on the (corrupt) Greeks:
A Greek motorist parks his car outside the parliament in Athens. “You can’t park here,” says the cop. “This is where our politicians work.” “That’s OK,” says the motorist. “It’s fitted with an alarm.”
马其顿人嘲笑腐败的希腊人：
一个希腊司机把车停在雅典议会外面。警察说：“你不能挺这儿，这里是我们的政治家上班的地方。”司机说：“没关系，我安了警报器。”
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