船
白桦
我有过多次这样的奇遇，
从天堂到地狱只在瞬息之间；
每一朵可爱、温柔的浪花，
都成了突然崛起、随即倾倒的高山。
每一滴海水都变脸变色，
刚刚还是那样美丽、蔚蓝；
旋涡纠缠着旋涡，
我被抛向高空又投进深渊……
当时我甚至想到过轻生，
眼前一片苦海无边；
放弃了希望就象放弃了舵柄，
在暴力之下只能沉默和哀叹。
今天我才有资格嘲笑昨天的自己，
为昨天落叶似的惶恐感到羞惭；
虚度了多少年华，
船身多次被礁石撞穿……
千万次在大洋里撒网，
才捕获到一点点生活的经验，
才恍然大悟，
啊！道理原是如此浅显：
你要航行吗？
必然会有千妖百怪出来阻拦；
暴虐的欺凌是它们的游戏，
制造灭亡是它们唯一的才干。
命中注定我要常常和它们相逢，
因为我的名字叫做船；
面对强大于自身千万倍的对手，
能援救自己的只有清醒和勇敢。
恐惧只能使自己盲目，
盲目只能夸大魔鬼的狰狞嘴脸；
也许我的样子比它们更可怕，
当我以生命相拼，一往无前！
只要我还有一根完整的龙骨，
绝不驶进避风的港湾；
把生命放在征途上，
让勇敢来决定道路的宽窄、长短。
我完完全全的自由了，
船头成为埋葬它们的铁铲；
我在波浪中有节奏地跳跃，
就象荡着一个巨大的秋千。
即使它们终于把我撕碎，
变成一些残破的木片；
我不会沉沦，决不！
我还会在浪尖上飞旋。
后来者还会在残片上认出我，
未来的诗人会喟然长叹：
“这里有一个幸福的灵魂，
它曾经是一艘前进着的航船……”
The Ship
BaiHua
I have time after timeexperienced such an adventure:
From heaven to hell needs onlya twinkling of eyes;
Each lovable and tenderspray,
Becomes in an instant a highpeak on the collapsing.
Each drop of seawater turnshostile and changes hue;
In spite of its blueness andloveliness a moment ago.
Vortices are entangling uponvortices;
I am heaved heavenward andflung into an abyss ?
When the idea of commitingsuicide hits me,
Before my eyes is a vastexpanse of bitter sea;
To abandon hope is likeabandoning the tiller,
And one has to save one’sbreath and bewail under violence.
Only today I am entitled tomock the me myself of yore,
And I am ashamed of thefalling-leaf-like terror of yesterday;
How many years are fooledaway,
And the hull of the ship isbroken by the reef time and again ?
Not until the net is cast formyriads of times in the ocean,
Do we capture a scantling oflife experience,
And it dawns onus:
Oh! The reason behind is sosimple and easy:
Do you intend to take avoyage?
Thousands of monsters arelying in wait to discourage;
Tyrannous bullying is theirgame,
And their sole ability is tobring destruction.
I am destined to come acrossthem from time to time,
Because my name isship;
Facing the antagonist who isthousands of times more powerful than myself,
Only sobriety and bravery cansave me.
Trepidation only renders aperson blind,
And blindness only magnifiesthe ferocious features of the demons;
Perhaps my appearance is morefrightful than them,
When I go all out at the costof my life, pressing forward!
So long as I have kept oneintact keel,
I will never sail into a safeharbour;
I place my life on thejourney,
And the width and length ofthe road will be determined by courage.
When I am completelyfree,
The prow becomes a shovel withwhich to bury them;
In the waves I am dancingrhythmically,
Like swaying a hugeswing.
Even if they tear meup,
Into some brokenpieces,
I will never sink intodepravity, never!
I can also wheel on thespray.
The late comer can recognizeme on the remains,
And the future poet will sigha deep sigh:
“There is a happy soulhere,
Which has ever been a ship onthe sailing ?”
— Tr. 张智中
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