“听过很多道理，却依然过不好这一生。”
曾经我站在人生的十字路口，
琢磨走哪条会过好自己这一生，
当时的我常阅读、找前辈讨经验、网搜心得，
以为听了他人的忠告，
自己就能找到一条成功的捷径。
后来我发现，自己面对的
只是一条条深浅不一的河流，
当年天真地以为可以照着别人所说的而活，
事实上每个人都不过是根据自己的能耐，
选择了当时自己唯一能过的那条河。
如果时间倒流，我的选择依旧如此，
会踏入同一条河流里。
对于每个人来讲过去都是无法改变的，
即便你能回到过去，该发生的依旧会发生，
人总会去到那条属于你自己的路上徘徊，
那是烙印在你灵魂里的欲望。
因为那都是'你'做出的决定。
即使套用了别人的人生模型上总结的公式，
你以为你绕过了命运的考验，
实际上你只会以其他形式再次遇见它。
因为这世界每个人没有完全一样的“因果”。
属于你的南墙，你总会去撞；
属于你的黄河，你总要去跳。
这是真实的你做出的必然选择。
那都是你的罪孽。
其实，没有人能帮你走出迷雾。
所以，等到你撞了南墙，跳了黄河，
不管你走了多少路，
是开心还是悲痛是低谷还是高峰，
你听到了你内心最深处的欲望，
等到自己内心隐约的那丝微光发出万丈光芒，
是了，你本应该就在这里。
所有撞的南墙、走的弯路，
都是在打磨出真的自己。
浓缩成自己的经验，自然而然印在生命里。
那才是你的福祉。
因此，浓鸡汤和大道理，一十也不再复读，
今天就讲一些切实可行的小建议和小道理。
积少成多，厚积薄发。
ε?з
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Life Lessons Advice
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A List of Wisest Words
(不给翻译？没错，学会自己诠释）
? Have a firm handshake.
? Look people in the eye.
? Sing in the shower.
? Own a great stereo system.
? Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen every day.
? Always accept an outstretched hand.
? Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
? Avoid sarcastic remarks.
? Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 percent of all your happiness or misery.
? Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.
? Lend only those books you never care to see again.
? Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.
? When playing games with children, let them win.
? Give people a second chance, but not a third.
? Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
? Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems.
? Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for our convenience, not the caller's.
? Be a good loser. Be a good winner.
? Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.
? When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.
? Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.
? Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.
? Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.
? Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets
? Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.
? Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
? Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you.
? Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.
? Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes.
? Begin each day with some of your favourite music.
? Once in a while, take the scenic route.
? Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, ‘Someone who thinks you're terrific.‘
? Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.
? Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m.
? Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job.
? Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.
? Make someone's day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you.
? Become someone's hero.
? Marry only for love.
? Count your blessings.
? Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.
? Wave at the children on a school bus.
? Remember that 8O per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people.
? Don't expect life to be fair
? Life isn't fair. but it's still good.
? Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
? Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
? Pay off your credit cards every month.
? You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
? Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
? Save for retirement. starting with your first paycheck.
? make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
? lt's OK to let your children see you cry.
? Don't compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
? If a relationship has to be a secret. you shouldn't be in it.
? Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living. or get busy dying.
? You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
? A writer writes. If you want to be a writer. write.
? lt's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
? When it comes to going after what you love in life. don't take no for an answer.
? Burn the candles; use the nice sheets; wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
? Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
? The most important sex organ is the brain.
? No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
? Frame every so-called disaster with these words:
“In five years. will this matter?'
? That other people think of you is none of your business.
? Time heals almost every-Thing. Give time time.
? However good or bad a situation is. it will change.
? Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
Believe in miracles.
? Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
? Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
? Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
? Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
? If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's，we'd grab ours back.
? Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
? All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
? ? The best is yet to come.
? No matter how you feel. get up. dress up. and show up.
? Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
? If you don't ask. you don't get.
? Life isn't tied with a bow. but it's still a gift.
? There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them
? Never cancel dinner plans by text message.
Don't knock it till you try it.
? If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.
? Always use 'we' when referring to your home team.
? When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
? Just because you can doesn't mean you should.
? Don't dumb yourself down.
? Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.
? Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first girl/boyfriend.
? Hold your heroes to a high standard.
? A suntan is earned, not bought.
? Never lie to your doctor.
? All guns are loaded.
? The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it's only once.
? Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.
? Don't fill up on bread, no matter how good.
? A handshake beats an autograph.
? Don't linger in the doorway. ln or out.
? If you choose to go in drag, don't sell yourself short.
? If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.
? When you're with new friends, don't just talk about old friends.
? When traveling, keep your wits about you. Nomatter where you are.
? It's never too late for an apology.
? Don't pose with booze. It's unbecoming.
? If you have the right of way, TAKE lT.
? You don't get to choose your own nickname.
? When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.
? Never push someone off a dock.
? Under no circumstances should you ask a woman
if she is pregnant.
? lt's not enough to be proud of your ancestry, liveup to it.
? Don't make a scene.
? When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.
? Know when to ignore the camera.
? Never gloat.
? Make time for your mother on your birthday. lt's a special day for her too.
? When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.
? Sympathy is a crutch. Never fake a limp.
? Give credit. Take blame.
? Suck it up every now and then.
? Don't stare.
? Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.
? Stand up to bullies. You only have to do it once.
? If you've made your point, stop talking.
? Admit it when you're wrong.
? If you offer to help don't quit until the job is done.
? Look people in the eye when you thank them.
? Thank the bus driver.
? Never answer the phone at the dinner table.
? Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
? Know at least one good joke.
? Don't boo. Even the ref is somebody's son.
? Know how to cook one good meal.
? Learn to drive manual/stick shift.
? Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.
? It's okay to go to the movies by yourself
? Don't lose your cool. Especially at work.
? Always thank the host.
? If you don't understand, ask before it's too late.
? Know the size of your boyfriend/girlfriend's clothes.
? There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.
? Be a good listener. Don't just take your turn to talk.
? Keep your word.
? Carry your mother's bags. She carried you for 9 months.
? Be patient with airport security. They arejust doing their job.
? Don't be the talker in a movie.
? The opposite sex likes people who shower.
? You are what you do. Not what you say.
? Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.
? An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.
? If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.
? You won't always be the strongest or fastest. But you can't be the toughest.
? Never call someone before or after 9am and 9pm.
? Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.
? Make the little things count.
? There is a fine line between looking sultryand slutty. Find it.
? You're never too old to need your Mom.
? Ladies, if you make the decision to wearheels on the first date commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut abouthow much your feet kill.
? Know the words to your national anthem.
? Your dance moves might not be the best,but l promise making a fool of yourself is
more fun than sitting on the bench alone.
? Smile at strangers.
? Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.
? lf you HAVE to fight, punch first and punch hard.
? Eat food that makes you feel good.
? Indulge in a “guilty” pleasure.
? Exercise in a fun or calming way.
? Relax and detox in a sauna.
? Have a deep conversation with a supportive loved one.
? Write about your thoughts and feelings in a journal.
? Foam roll — release tension in your body.
? Go to the beach or to a location near water by yourself.
? Sit in silence ad focus on your breathing from your core.
? Create a relaxation playlist or find a pre-made one online.
? Learn and perform acupressure on yourself.
? Take a walk in nature.
? Plan an evening of rest: no to-do’s or rushing around.
? Take a class you've always wanted to take (cooking, martial arts,
music...)
? Dance in your underwear to a favorite song.
? Find something to be thankful for in the moment.
? Watch your favorite movie (and turn off your distracting devices and
social media).
? Spend time with your pets or with shelter animals who need love.
? Read inspirational quotes or listen to inspirational stories and speeches.
? Hug someone or something special to you.
? Watch the sunset while drinking a nice beverage.
? Sleep in, and feel good about it.
? Write a list of 10 things you love about yourself.
? Take a drive to a beautiful place.
? Declutter your living space.
? Go on a coffee date with yourself.
? Check in with yourself. Ask yourself: “What do l
need today?' Then, go do that thing!
? Bake your favorite treats simply because you want to.
? Get dressed up and take selfies for fun. Don't post them unless it
makes you feel good to do it.
? Watch or read something that makes you laugh.
? Sing — by yourself or with your favorite duet partner.
? Write yourself a love letter.
? Sketch, paint, or color.
? Plant flowers, plants, or vegetables.
? Light heavenly scented candles.
? Take a shower with dim lighting and your relaxation playlist (that
you created thanks to number 13).
? Write a letter forgiving yourself for something you've been upset
about.
? Stargaze.
? Start fresh every single day
? Check your credit card statements. bank account and pay stubs regularly
? Adopt a 'meatless Monday' mentality
? Understand that exercise doesn't have to be a big time commitment
? Don't try to keep up with the Jonses, you'll lose
? Practice safe sex. Always
? NEVER grocery shop on an empty stomach
? Stop beating yourself up
? Eat whole foods as much as possible
? Consolidate and pay off debt ASAP
? Don't overdo the booze
? Don't snack if you're not hungry
? Stand up for yourself
? Avoid tanning beds like the plague
? Take medication seriously
? Listen to your body
? Don't skimp on sleep.
? Do mental health checks
? Read labels on everything from food to makeup
? Prioritize stress management
? Optimize your fertility, if you plan on kids
? Always wear a seatbelt, even in a taxi
? Floss after every brushing
? Sneeze into your arm. not your palm
? Count to 10 when you're angry
? Learn to take constructive criticism
? Never let Google diagnose you
? Go for women you perceive to be 'out of your league.' You'll surprise yourself.
? Never have sex with anyone that doesn't want it as much as you.
? Every hat should serve a purpose.
? Never take her to the movies on the first date.
? Learn to wet shave.
? Nothing looks more badass than a well-tailored suit.
? Shave with the grain on the first go-around.
? Always look a person in the eye when you talk to them.
? Buy a plunger before you need a plunger.
? Give a firm handshake.
? lf you aren't confident, fake it. lt will come.
? You can tell the size of a man by the size of things that bother him.
? Be conscious of your body language.
? The only reason to ever point a gun at someone is if you intend to shoot them.
? Always stand to shake someone's hand.
? Never lend anything you can't afford to lose.
? Ask more than you answer. Everybody likes to talk about themselves.
? Keep a change of clothes at the office.
? Buy high quality tools, so you only have to buy them once.
? Manliness is not only being able to take care of yourself, but others as well.
? Go with the decision that will make for a good story.
? When you walk, look straight ahead, not at your feet.
? Nice guys don't finish last. Boring guys do.
? Find your passion and figure out how to get paid for it.
? Don't let the little head do the thinking for the big head.
? No matter their job or status in life, everyone deserves your respect.
? The most important thing you can learn is personal responsibility. Bad things happen, it's your job to overcome them.
? The first one to get angry loses.
? Do what needs to be done without complaining. It won't help speed things up.
? Always go out into public dressed like you're about to meet the love of your life.
? Don't change yourself just to make someone happy, unless that someone is you.
? If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.
? Luck favors the prepared.
? Women find confidence sexy as hell.
? Do whatever you want to do in the life, but be the best at it.
? Handwritten 'Thankyou“ cards aren't outdated. Use them.
? Judge no one. Just improve yourself.
? Make sure everyone hastheir plate before you start eating.
? We don't always have to bethe center of attention. but we are always noticed. lt is our signature
ε?з
《东邪西毒》有过一段这样的话:
当你翻越一片沙漠，才会发现，
那不过是另一片沙漠。
对，人生该走的弯路一步都少不了，
我不后悔自己曾经做的每一件事情，
因为每一件事情都让我学到了很多。
我们总是用“我能做到什么”来定位自己，
而别人用“你已经做过什么”来判断你。
想到与得到之间，还有两个字：做到。
知易行难，理可顿悟，事须渐修。
过不好这一生，那就过好这一刻。
撞一撞我的南墙，跳一跳我的黄河。
别蹉跎。
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