《孩子：挑战》被它的读者封为“画的全是重点”的书，此书金句满地，诸如“孩子需要鼓励，就像植物需要水”“父母一旦开口说教，孩子就会自动成为聋子”这样的句子比比皆是，让人时时有用荧光笔标出来，用粗线划出来，打印出来挂在墙上的冲动。
本荧光金句由33位童书妈妈读书会成员及冯文红女士贡献，均为他们在阅读儿童心理学奠基之作《孩子：挑战》时叩动他们内心的金句子。这也是该书的核心精华所在。
孟洁和冯文红特地根据英文原版做了中英文对照版本，便于大家学教育的同时，学学英文（我就是这样学的）。现与各位书友分享，请记得分享你的荧光金句。
1
Equality means that each decides for himself.
平等，就是每个人为自己做决定的权利。
2
Inorder for everyone to have freedom, we must have order. And order bears with itcertain restrictions and obligations.
为了让每个人都能够拥有和享受自由，我们需要规则，规则会产生限制和责任。
3
Well-definedrestrictions give a sense of security and a certainty of function within thesocial structure.
清晰和明确的界限，能给人安全感，让人清楚自己在社会结构中的位置和职责。
4
The popular practice of letting children have unrestricted freedom has made tyrant3 of children and slaves of the parents.These children enjoy all the freedom while their parents assume all the responsibilities! This is hardly democracy.
当今一个普遍现象，是家长给予孩子无限自由，结果孩子成了“小霸王”，父母成了孩子的仆人。孩子享受所有的自由和权利，而家长则承担所有的责任和义务，着根本不是民主。
5
A misbehaving child is a discouraged child.Each child needs continuous encouragement just as a plant needs water.
一个行为不良的孩子，是个气馁的孩子。孩子需要鼓励，就像植物需要水。
6
A baby who is happy only when she is the center of attention is not a truly happy baby. Genuine happiness is notdependent upon the attention of others but arises from within oneself as aresult of self-sufficiency.
一个只有得到别人关注才快乐的人，不是真正快乐的人。真正的快乐不需要建立在他人的关注上，而是发自内心，感受到内在的满足。
7
Children need to learn how to take pain in their stride. A bruised knee willmend: bruised courage may last a lifetime.
生活中一定会发生打击和伤害，孩子们要学习怎样面对痛苦，并大步跨越痛苦。受伤的膝盖会痊愈，而挫伤的勇气则会终生留下伤疤。
8
We can build only on strength, noton weakness.
我们要将注意力放在长处而不是短处上面。
9
We are not working for perfection, but only for improvement.
我们要的是进步，而不是完美。
10
Remember,one cannot build on weakness-only on strength.
没有人能在脆弱中成长，成长需要力量和坚强。
11
He is an individual and makes his own choices and decisions. We cannot takeresponsibility for this; it belongs to the child.
孩子是一个独立的个体，可以为自己做选择，做决定。我们不能担负为孩子做决定的责任，这个责任和权利是孩子的。
12
No amount of punishment will bring about lasting submission. Today’s children are willing to take any amount of punishment in order to assert their “rights”
没有哪种惩罚能得到持久的服从。现在的孩子宁可受到惩罚，也要维护自己的权力。
13
We do not have the right to assume the responsibilities of our children, nor do we have the right to take the consequence of theiracts. These belong to them.
我们没有权利替孩子担负责任，也没有权利替他们收拾残局，因为这些都是他们自己的事。
14
We mustrepeatedly remind ourselves, “I have no right to punish a person with status equalto mine, but I do have the obligation to guide and direct my child. I do not have the right to impose my will-butI do have the obligation not to give in to his undue demands.”
我们需要经常提醒自己：“我没有权利惩罚一个和我享有同等地位人，我有责任引导我的孩子。我没有权利强迫他人接受我的意愿，我有义务不对他人的过分要求妥协。”
15
Childrencan learn limitations only through firm insistence.
只有稳固的坚持才能让孩子学会正确的界限。
16
Suchacts of pressure must always be accompanied by giving the child a choice.
给孩子压力的行为，必须同时伴随给孩子选择的机会和权利。
17
If therelationship between parents and child is at all friendly, the child is likely to response.
如果父母和孩子的关系友好，孩子会更加乐意响应。
18
Only when we have confidence in a child and his ability ，can we show respect for him.
只有当我们信任孩子，信任他的能力时，才能真正表现出对他的尊重。
19
We are constantly correcting, constantly admonishing. Such an approach shows lack of faith in our children; it is humiliating and discouraging. With all this emphasis on the negative, where can we expect the child to find the energy to proceed toward achievement?
我们不停地指出孩子的错误，不停告诫他们……这样的方式事实上是在表现出我们对孩子没有信心，这会让所有人沮丧和气馁。如果我们的关注点都在负面事情上，我们怎么可能期望孩子找到通向正面和成功的方向和力量源泉？
20
When constantly corrected, the child not only gets the feeling that he is always wrong but may become fearful of making a mistake.
由于我们不断对孩子进行指正，不但会让孩子觉得他经常出错，而且还让孩子变得害怕出错。
21
Children need to be recognized as good children who misbehave because they are unhappy or have found that is paysoff.
我们必须明白，所有的孩子都是好孩子，他们行为不良是因为他们不快乐，或者发现不良行为有好处。
22
Routine is to a child what walls are to a house; it gives boundaries and dimensions to his life. No child feels comfortable in a situation in which he doesn’t know exactly what to expect.Routine gives a feeling of security. An established routine also provides asense of order from which freedom grow.
规律对孩子来说就像房子的墙，赋予生活的界限和范围。没有哪个孩子能在无法预知和期待的生活中过得愉快安逸。规律让人有安全感。稳定的规律能够赋予孩子清晰感，继而产生真正的自由。
23
Anyone becomes unreasonable when he feels imposed upon. We cannot win co-operation by trying to impose our will upon someone else.
任何人在被强迫时都不会通情达理，把我们的想法强加给别人，是无法赢得合作的。
24
Children don’t like to be caught in the act. Don’t be surprised if the child shows marked innocence, resentment or even redoubled efforts to regainattention. About this time, departure from the area is smart.
孩子不喜欢自己的把戏被识破，所以他可能表现出无辜、生气、愤怒，或者用变本加厉的方式想要得到更多关注，这时父母不用惊讶，可以平静地暂时离开现场。
25
The disturbance is the result of a conflict between two people. If one personwithdraws the other cannot continue.
战争是两个人冲突的结果。如果其中一方退出战争，另一方就无法继续。
26
The fact that we even ask,” how many times?” indicates that “telling” has notserved the purpose of instruction. Children learn very quickly. One “telling”usually will indicate to the child that a given action has met disapproval. Fromthis time forward he knows his continued behavior in this direction is out ofline.
事实上，当我们说“多少次”，意味着我们每一次的“告知”都没有达到效果。孩子们学得很快，通常，“告知”就是不允许孩子做某个行为，然而结果常常与这个“告知”相反。于是孩子就学会了，他的行为可以不一致。
27
If mother really wants to change the behavior of her childen,she will have to act.Words are futile.
如果妈妈真的想改变孩子的行为，她需要行动，而是不是语言。
28
It is sheer nonsense to assumethat the child will be able to meet frustrations when he is older. What magicin growing older could provide a skill that should be developed in early life?
觉得自己有义务让孩子高兴，这是个错误，这样容易造成家长卑微的心态，容易造成孩子以自我为中心。
29
Children need to learn how to manage frustrations. Adult life is fullof them.
孩子需要学会如何面对挫折，因为成人的世界里有很多挫折。
30
We must learn to be concerned with the demands of the situation and to beunconcerned with “what people think.” Here Mother must make a choice betweenher vanity, which is hurt, and her obligation as mother.
我们应该学会关注客观而不是关注别人怎么想。这个时候，妈妈需要在面子（反正已经受损了）和“妈妈的义务”之间做出正确的选择。
31
We need not be arbitrary inrefusing to give a child what he wants. But whenever the child’s desire orrequest is contrary to order tor to the demands of situation, then we must havethe courage to stick to the “no” that expresses our own best judgment.
我们并不是说要随意拒绝孩子的所有要求，而是说当孩子的欲望、要求和规则相抵触，或者不符合情势，我们必须有判断能力，以及有说“不”的勇气
32
We use our heads! Instead of beinga front behind which the child basks in innocence, we become a sieve, whichfilters life experience in amounts which the child can meet.
我们要运用自己的智慧，不应该只是一味地保护孩子，而是让自己成为“过滤器”,过滤出孩子可以面对、应付的情况，然后有意识地退后,让孩子去经历、去成长。
33
Mother moves back, away from thebaby, and holds out her hands- just beyond his reach.
妈妈退后一步，和孩子保持一段距离，伸出手——在孩子差一点能够到的地方。
34
Pain is part of life. There is no way to escape its existence.
疼痛是生活的一部分，没有人可以逃避疼痛。
35
Mother could have prevented this bitter disappointment from the beginning has she not expected it.
妈妈可以在开始制定计划时，就预防孩子有可能出现的失望。
36
If we want to teach children how to choose wisely, we must give them opportunitiesto choose and, if necessary, to make mistakes.
我们想教会孩子怎么做理智聪明的选择，那我们必须给孩子选择的机会，甚至是犯错的机会。
37
They learn through experience,no from our experience.
孩子是从经验中学习，但不是我们的经验。
38
It is common knowledge that members of a peer group have a code which abhors “squealing.”
没有人喜欢群体中的告密者，这样的人在哪里都会受到憎恨。
40
If we speak to our children as friends on equal footing with us, we keep the doors of communication open.
当我们和孩子说话的语气与和朋友说话的语气一样时，我们和孩子的沟通之门就敞开了！
41
Our best refuge is to have confidence in our children and so take it easy untilsuch time as our talents for coping with disaster are really called upon.
最后的预防和让对方都安心的方法，是放松一些，对自己的孩子真正有信心。
42
But their scorn criticism ,and punishment do not teach him not to lie or steal; on the contrary,they provide him with further ammunition and increased desire to do wrong for the sake of power and defeating his parents.
责骂、批评、惩罚、说教，都不能教孩子不说谎、不偷盗；相反，它们更像这些行为的“燃料”。孩子会更想做坏事，以击败父母和增强自己的权力感。
44
The more fuss we make over “bad”habits, the worse they get.Downrade 'bad' habits.
我们越急于纠正孩子的“坏”习惯，就越有可能让这个习惯更严重。我们要降低坏习惯的重要性。
45
This is a family problem and must be solved by the family
涉及家里所有人的问题，应该由所有人共同决定。
46
Each family can work out the details of the family council to suit its ownneeds; but the basis principles remain the same. Each member has the right tobring up a problem. Each one has the right to be heard. Together, all seek fora solution to the problem, and the majority opinion is upheld.
每个家庭可以根据自己的情况，制定具体的细节，但大框架和总原则不变：每个人都有权利提出问题，都有权利发言，说出自己的想法，然后大家一起寻找解决方法。
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