幸福正在进行中但是每个人的过程不一样。好消息是，每天都有机会去尝试一些能让你更快乐的事情。
许多人把自己的不快乐归咎于他们的环境、失控的情况或其他人。
但事实是，我们的幸福是我们自己的责任。就像那样埃莉诺·罗斯福语录：“没有你的同意，没有人能让你自卑。”没有你的同意，没有人可以拿走你的幸福。
你的幸福是每天的过程。你可以每天多做一些让你开心的事情来充分体验。每天，你都有机会控制自己的情绪。你可以学习如何快乐和保持快乐。
个人发展领域的作家和讲师丹·米尔曼解释说，“我一直相信，拥有高质量、快乐和智慧的生活是我与生俱来的权利，随着时间的推移，我会自然而然地得到这种权利。我从来没有想过，我必须学会如何生活——在我觉醒到一个简单、快乐、简单的生活之前，我需要掌握一些特定的纪律和看待世界的方式。”
极度快乐的人接受了某些习惯，使他们与众不同——他们有快乐的习惯。快乐的人会做更多能强化他们快乐状态的事情。幸福过程的要素包括特定的常规、活动和选择。你练习得越多，你的大脑就越会重新调整自己以适应新的快乐习惯。
当你感觉良好时，你的大脑会释放多巴胺、血清素、催产素或内啡肽——这四种化学物质负责你的快乐。
我们想要更多这样的美好感觉，因为我们的大脑天生就是寻求它们的。以下是我们任何人——在人生的任何阶段——都可以开始做的几件事，来感受生活中更多快乐的影响。
1. 快乐的大脑发现并增加心流体验
你是否曾经迷失在某件事中，以至于忘记了时间？被一项任务或活动所消耗，虽然对大多数人来说是罕见的，但这是一种被称为“心流”的状态。
这是一个最佳的经验，可以让你快乐。从徒步旅行到园艺、阅读甚至看一部特别引人入胜的电影或电视剧，心流基本上描述了与生俱来的满足感。
在他的畅销书《心流：最佳体验的心理学》中，Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi将心流描述为“一种状态，人们如此投入到一项活动中，其他任何事情似乎都无关紧要；这种体验是如此令人愉快，以至于人们会为了做这件事而继续做下去，即使付出很大的代价。”
在这段时间里，我们会体验到一种似是而非的感觉：时间在“我们的世界”里都静止了。
心流几乎可以在任何需要长时间精神努力的活动中实现，我们的参与是为了它而享受的。
要体验快乐而不去追求它，拥抱每天的快乐习惯。当你的大脑对什么会让你快乐建立起期望时，它开始重新连接自己去寻找更多快乐的习惯。如果你决定快乐，你的大脑会找到快乐的事情。
2. 他们表达感激之情——一种让生活更快乐的技能
例如，研究表明，小的、积极的经历的频率对我们的生活满意度的影响比一些史诗般的成就事件更大。心存感激的人对自己和生活的感觉更好，他们也会表现出更高层次的幸福感。
表达感激能帮助人们自我感觉良好，从而提高他们的自尊心。练习感恩也能让你的大脑产生持久的变化。
“有意培养感恩之心的人在大脑内侧前额叶皮层表现出更高的神经敏感性，这是一个与学习、理性思考和决策相关的大脑区域，”Ellie Cobb博士说。她是一位整体心理学家，也是一个专注于感恩的社会企业和生活方式品牌“感恩心理学”的负责人。
当我们在生活中真实地实践时，感恩可以帮助我们感到更踏实、更谦虚，并与你周围的世界保持联系。它吸引人们来到我们身边。随着时间的推移，你甚至不用去想它，你会看到它对你的生活的影响。
3. 最快乐的人能培养深厚、有意义的人际关系
良好的社会关系是幸福生活最稳定的预测因素。
大量研究表明，社会关系让人更快乐。令人满意的关系不仅使人快乐，而且还与更好的健康，甚至更长寿有关。
人际关系与我们最强烈的情绪有关。当他们是积极的，我们感到快乐，满足和平静。当关系带出我们最坏的一面或者它们不存在时，我们会感到焦虑、沮丧和孤独。
哈佛大学一项关于成人发展的研究（被认为是最广泛的研究，始于1938年，追踪了724名男性75年的生活）我们发现，良好的人际关系是获得长久幸福的关键因素。
哈佛大学成人发展研究中心主任、精神病学家Robert Waldinger博士说：“从数万页的研究中得出的结论是，良好的人际关系能让我们更快乐、更健康。”
4. 幸福的人活在当下
当你把大部分时间都花在担心过去或生活在对未来的恐惧中时，你是很难快乐的。
生活正在展开，但我们太忙碌而没有注意到。我们太忙于担心过去和未来，以至于让现在溜走，让时间在不知不觉中溜走。
我们浪费了宝贵的分分秒秒，分秒，小时，日，月和年，因为我们担心未来和沉思什么是过去。
一次只能活在当下，选择活在此刻。“活在当下——也叫正念——是一种积极的、开放的、有意识地关注当下的状态，”《今日心理学》的杰伊·迪克西特写道。
当你找到生活中的小乐趣时，就向前倾。简单的事情是最不平凡的事情，有时使生活变得容易管理。
不要想太多“享受”生活。当你跳到“思考模式”，去寻找让你的生活充实的东西的那一刻，生活的充实就会变成一个海市蜃楼。
5. 快乐的大脑寻求冒险——他们品味生活中各种不同形式的刺激
计划冒险无论多小的事情都能在旅行前的几天或几周内通过延迟的满足增加你的幸福感。
当人们冒险时，他们自然会兴奋，欣赏，压力更小，更有存在感。
你可以把每天的生活变成一场冒险——每一天都可以是非凡的。你甚至可以在不离开家的情况下进行冒险——走一条不同的上班路线，阅读一些你平常话题以外的东西。
学习一项能让你在未来不可或缺的新技能，享受新体验带来的刺激。对于大自然的爱，冒险是一个机会来欣赏惊人的景观。
一项研究发现，每周花两个小时沉浸在大自然中——无论是林地、公园还是海滩——对身心健康都有积极的促进作用。
要在被忽略的细节中体验到真正的快乐，你必须愿意感到惊讶，或者你的假设是错误的。
每天醒来，准备好朝着你的幸福迈出那些“小步骤”——采取好的行动，无论多小的行动都能提升你的心情。每一点小经验都很重要。
来源Ally发表于Medium.
Many people blame their circumstances, situations out of their control or other people for their own unhappiness.
But the truth is that our happiness is our own responsibility. It’s like that Eleanor Roosevelt quote: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” No one can take away your happiness without your consent.
Your happiness is an everyday process. You can do more of what makes you happy every day to fully experience it. Every day, you have the opportunity to control your mood. You can learn how to be happy and stay happy.
Dan Millman, author and lecturer in the personal development field explains, “I’d always believed that a life of quality, enjoyment, and wisdom was my human birthright and would be automatically bestowed upon me as time passed. I never suspected that I would have to learn how to live — that there were specific disciplines and ways of seeing the world I had to master before I could awaken to a simple, happy, uncomplicated life.”
Wildly happy people have embraced certain habits that set them apart from the rest — they have happy habits. Happy people do more of what reinforces their state of happiness. Elements of the happiness process involve specific routines, activities, and choices. And the more you practice them, the more your brain rewires itself to adjust to the new happiness habits.
When you feel good, your brain is releasing dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, or endorphin — the quartet of chemicals responsible for your happiness.
We want more of these great feelings because our brains are designed to seek them. Here are a few things that any of us — at any stage of life — can start doing to feel the effects of more happiness in our lives.
Have you ever lost yourself in something, so much so that you lost track of time? Being consumed by a task or activity, while it can be rare for most people, is a state of being called Flow.
It’s an optimal experience that can make you happy. From hiking to gardening, reading or even watching a particularly engrossing movie or TV show, flow basically describes the inherent sense of satisfaction.
In his best-selling book, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, credited with popularizing the flow state with his research in the 1980s and 90’s describes flow as “a state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter; the experience is so enjoyable that people will continue to do it even at great cost, for the sheer sake of doing it.”
During such spells, we experience the paradoxical sensation of time both having stood still internally in 'our world’.
Flow can be achieved in just about any activity that requires prolonged mental effort and in which our participation is enjoyed, literally, for the sake of it.
To experience happiness without pursuing it, embrace daily happy habits. When your brain builds expectations about what will make you happy, it begins to rewire itself to seek more happy habits. If you decide to be happy, your brain will find things to be happy about.
Research shows, for example, that the frequency of small, positive experiences has a greater impact on our life satisfaction than a few epic events of achievements. People who are grateful feel better about themselves and their lives, and they also show higher levels of happiness.
Expressing gratitude helps people feel good about themselves — which improves their self-esteem. Practicing gratitude can also make lasting changes in your brains.
“People who intentionally cultivate gratitude show greater neural sensitivity in the medial prefrontal cortex, a brain region associated with learning, rational thinking, and decision making,” says Ellie Cobb, Ph.D., a holistic psychologist and the director of Psychology for Thankful, a social enterprise and lifestyle brand focused on gratitude.
When practiced in our lives authentically, gratitude can help us feel more grounded, humble, and connected to the world around you. It draws people to us. Practiced over time, you won’t even have to think about it, and you’ll see the effects on your perspective in life.
Good social relationships are the most consistent predictor of a happy life.
Heaps of research suggest that social connections make people happier. Satisfying relationships not only make people happy, but they also associated with better health and even longer life.
Relationships are connected to some of our strongest emotions. When they are positive we feel happiness, contentment, and calm. When relationships bring out the worst in us or they are non-existent, we feel anxious, depressed, and lonely.
A Harvard study on adult development (considered to be the most extended study, which started in 1938, tracked the lives of 724 men for 75 years) found that good relationships are the key factors that matter the most for long-lasting happiness.
“The lesson that came from tens of thousands of pages of that research was that good relationships keep us happier and healthier,” says Dr. Robert Waldinger, a psychiatrist, and director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development.
It’s extremely hard to be happy when you spend most of your time worrying about the past or living in fear of the future.
Life unfolding, but we are too occupied to notice. We are too busy worried about the past and the future that we let the present slip away, allowing time to rush past unobserved and unseized.
We squander to our precious seconds, minutes, hours, days, months and years as we worry about the future and ruminate about what’s past.
You can only live one moment at a time, choose to live in the moment. “Living in the moment — also called mindfulness — is a state of active, open, intentional attention on the present,” writes Jay Dixit of Psychology Today.
Lean into the little joys in life when you find them. The simple things are the most extraordinary things that sometimes make life easy to manage.
Don’t think too much about “enjoying” life. The moment you jump to “thinking mode”, and seek things to make your life fulfilling, the fullness of life will become a mirage.
Planning adventure no matter how small can increase your happiness for days and weeks leading up to a trip through delayed gratification.
People are naturally excited, appreciative, less stressed, and more present when they are adventurous.
You can turn everyday life into an adventure — every day can be extraordinary. You can even be adventurous without leaving your home — take a different route to work, read about other things beyond your usual topics.
Learn a new skill that can make you indispensable in the future, and enjoy the excitement of the new experience. Fоr nature lоvеrѕ, adventure is an opportunity to appreciate amazing landscapes.
A study has found that spending two hours per week soaking up nature — be it woodland, park or beach — gives a positive boost to health and wellbeing, both mentally and physically.
To experience true happiness in the overlooked details, you must be willing to be surprised, or wrong in your assumptions.
Wake up each day ready to take those “small steps” toward your happiness — take good actions, no matter how small to boost your mood. Every little experience counts.
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