又要开始套磁了，一不小心发现了一个美国PI写的这么个好东西，所以赶紧贴出来跟大家分享一下~
里面虽然说的是找工作，但跟申请PhD的套磁其实没啥区别，所以打算套奖学金的PhDCandidates，赶紧好好看看吧~
How not to get a lab job
What your approach says aboutyou
Steve Caplan 5 June 2011
Enough already: words can kill yourprospects
Did you cut my name out of the phone bookat random?
People who know me will agree that I amcertainly not a formal person. I don’t own a suit, have a singletie that I have worn all of three times, and my preferred attire isjeans and training shoes.
I am also a big fan of modern technology,and have a growing appreciation of electronic and social media.However, when it comes to job applications, I do draw someboundaries: a job query should not resemble a text message ortweet.
As a principle investigator (PI) running aresearch team in a big university, I get a lot of emails frompeople who want me to give them a job. Some of these have the exactopposite effect, and I’ve been collecting examples of these forsome time now. The following letters are excellent examples of hownot to write a job query. After each letter (taken verbatimexcept for changing any identifying information) I have included ashort “Translation for the PI”, exemplifying what is wrong with theletter – in case anyone actually has any doubts. (Some of thesehave accompanying illustrations drawn by my daughter, aged12.)
How not to get a job #1
Dear Sir
Hope you are fine. I am very enthusiasticabout doing research in your esteemed organization where I couldmeaningfully and productively exploit my skills and gain anopportunity to experience a dynamic, rigorous and systemictraining. I am looking for a challenging position (post doctorate)in your laboratory. Please find my detailed CV for your kindconsideration and persual.
With Regards,
XXX
Translation for PI:
Don't know who you are, as I write these and send them out by masse-mail – but I hope you are fine (if you were dead, that wouldn'twork well for me to get a job, would it?). I am enthusiastic aboutfinding a job in your organization – whatever that is – Walmart,fire department, Humane Society, and could exploit my skills as agreeter, fire-truck driver, animal welfare person. I am looking fora challenging position (post-doc) – in other words, doing a PhD isa piece of cake, but post-doc work will be a challenge. You'dbetter be kind in considering my CV, because on merit alone, I'mnot going to get this job...
How not to get a job #2
I am XXX from Omaha. While looking postdocpositions I saw notification from your lab. I completed my PhD inmarch 2009. I worked on diabetes and use of medicinal plant(Catharanthus roseus) on diabetes. Here I am attaching coverletter, my CV and recommendation letter. Please give response if ufeel good.
Yours sincerely
XXX
Translation for PI:
Shows an applicant who thought long anddeep about his/her future career, and pays particular attention tofine detail. The only problem from the PI’s side – what if he/shedoes not feel good?
How not to get a job #3
Hi Dr. Caplan,
My name is Dr. XXX. I am research associate(assistant professor) at the university of Anywhere in thedepartment of Radiation and Cellular Oncology. As my husband Dr.YYY moved in Omaha, I am also looking for a research position atyour institute. Here I have attached a cover letter and my CV foryour consideration. Thanks,
Dr. XXX
Translation for PI:
My husband’s job is the important one – heis the “real” scientist. I just need to find a job doing anything –doesn’t matter what – somewhere near my husband. I’m notnecessarily interested in what you do, but saw youradvertisement….
How not to get a job #4
Dear Dr.Steve Caplan:I write to you to apply for postdoctoralposition in your esteemed laboratory at once. I got Ph.D. from ThirdMedical University, Oblivion, Oblivia this year. Now I am a volunteer inDepartment of pharmacology, Godforsaken University School of medicine,Middleof, Nowehere.
I have grasped many research techniquessuch as molecular techniques, cellular biology techniques, cell linesand embryonic stem cells cultures,etc. I possessed the ability of tacklingdifficult experimental problems independently. Parts of the work duringPh.D. training will be submitted to international journal. My researches mainlyfocus on the molecular mechanism of the differentiation of embryonicstem (ES) cells into functional hepatocyte precursor cells(HPCs) and therapies related to treatment of hepatic disease.
I am very interested in your researches.Your excellent work and notable articles distinguish you as the esteemed scientist. Thereis no doubt that your excellent program would give me anopportunity to develop my knowledge and techniques further. I deemed that I amqualified for advanced training; moreover, my academic background andexperience would also make contribution to your lab’sresearch.
Attached file is my CV and publications. Iwill be most happy to send you more information if you requestit.I am looking forward to hearing fromyou.Sincerely yours, GGG HHH, Ph.D.
Translation for PI:
Now here is a researcher who has clearly“deemed herself/himself” qualified for advanced training. Since Iam “the esteemed scientist”, I suppose who is better qualified todo that training? After all, I do excellent work and write notablearticles (*pats self on back*). Have you actually read them? Do youknow what I work on? Does it hold any interest for you? Does itmatter?
How not to get a job #5
Dear Dr. Caplan:
How are ya?
I am one Foreignese student. I learned thatyou are one excellent scientist working on the molecular mechanismsof regulating the recycling of cell surface proteins and othermolecules back to the plasma membrane. You are interested in theinteraction of EHD1 protein and other factors. I am reallyinterested in coming to your lab and working on my Ph.D. under yoursupervision this year. Now, Foreignese government has a studyingabroad program to support the students who want to pursue Ph.D. inforeign countries. The Foreignese Scholarship Council will coverthe students who can meet their requirements with internationaltravel cost and living expenses. But the students must get tuitioncost covered by professors/institutions.
My GRE score (paper-based) is 1140 with thewriting score of 3. My TOFEL score is 85. If you need any otherdocuments, please let me know. If you think you can accept me towork as your Ph.D. student, please provide me a letter whichindicates that you will provide me with tuition support. Thank youfor your consideration.
Best wishes!
Sincerely yours,
XXX YYY
Translation for PI:
I’m fine, como estas? How are things going?Cool, great to hear, be in touch, ciao…
Do I know you?
Oh yes, you are “one Foreignese student”.That’s good – I wouldn’t want more than one person from the samecountry in the lab – there isn’t enough space thesedays.
I’m so glad you learned that I am “oneexcellent scientist” (flattery, my dear, will get you very far)- Iwould rather be one excellent scientist than three, though if Ikeep on eating the way I do, I may look like two or threescientists in the near future.
How not to get a job #6
Dear Sir/Madam,
I have been working for 5 years directlywith Prof. CCC DDD in the Dept. of Biochemistry, University ofNonentity, Oblivia. I have submitted my thesis and am seeking toleverage my experience in a Post Doctoral position in Biochemistry,Cell biology and cancer biology. For this reason, I was excited tolearn that your lab is currently seeking a Post Doctoral fellow,and would very much like to be considered as a strongcandidate.
Ideally, this position will allow me theopportunity to utilize my experience gained as a pre doctoralstudent. I have worked in this lab in areas of Proteinpurification, immunological, biochemical, mammalian cell culture,immunohistochemical, basic molecular biology techniques and problemresolution. Additional experience includes working on Imageanalysis tool and handling theory as well as practical classes forM.Sc students. I have succeeded in positioning my research work forcareer growth.
Much of my experience is in Tumor biology,specifically in the areas of Extracellular matrix molecules,Cell-Cell and Cell-Matrix interactions. However, given theopportunity, I am confident that my experience and personabledisposition would be an asset to your laboratory.
For your convenience, I have attached myresume for your review. Thank you for your time and consideration.Looking forward to hear from you.
Thanking you,
Sincerely your’s,
EEE FFF
Translation for PI:
Hi there – I don’t know who you are, male,female, neither, both – it doesn’t really matter to me – I justwant a job. Of course, if I don’t know your name, I also don’t havea clue what you work on, but science is all the same, anyway,right? Actually, I’m not necessarily even trying for the job, but Iwould like to be a strong candidate. I can lift pipettes, testtubes and even large flasks, so I am pretty strong. I’ll even flexmy muscles for you if you ask…
How not to get a job #7
Dear Steve Caplan,
My name is AAA BBB, a post-doctor in Dr.ZZZ’s lab, Department of Biochemistry and Molecular Biology,University of Nowhere. I am writing to inquire about theavailability of postdoctoral position in your laboratory for mywife, XXX YYY, who have got her PhD. degree in the Institute ofGenetics and Developmental Biology, Trojan Academy of Sciences,under the direction of Prof. Dr. QQQ RRR. She has applied for herJ-2 visa on June 13, and will get the visa next month. She hasalready proved herself an excellent young researcher with strongbackground of both basic theoretical knowledge and experimentalskills in molecular biology, biochemistry and genetics. Maybe sheis just the person you are looking for. If you want more detailinformation about her please refer to my enclosed curriculum vitaeof her.
I am so sorry to disturb you, and thank youvery much for your consideration. If you have any question pleasetell me freely, and I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
AAA BBB
Translation for PI:
Dear STEVE CAPLAN – did you cut my name outof the phone book at random? As a “post-doctor”, I would expectthat your wife should be able to write her own “post-doctor”application to me. Can she write in English? Maybe she is “just theperson that I am looking for”, but a recommendation from a spouse,brother, sister, mother, father or even grandmother does not govery far these days. A second cousin twice removed,maybe…
How not to get a job #8
Dear Dr.,I am pleased to introduce myself as asenior research scholar in the University of Fargosia. I have worked on theproject entitled "molecular studies on BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes insporadic breast cancer" for my doctoral degree and submitted mythesis to the University by September,2004. I am waiting for myviva-voce examination.I would like to pursue my post doc with yourteam. I am keen to work on all aspects though I am basicallyinterested in cell and molecular biology and protein chemistry.Iwould like to state that I will put my best effort if I am given anopportunity. Herewith I have attached my CV for your kind perusal.I am looking forward to hear from you.
Thanking you.
Sincerely
DDD
Translation for PI:
Dear Dr. _____________. What was your nameagain? My memory is not very good these days… Oh yes – Dr. X orDocX – no, no, no – that’s a Word Document format. Well whoever youare, and whoever your ‘team’ is (Chicago Bulls? Los Angeles Lakers?Boston Red Sox?) – I want to be with you.
How not to get a job #9
Dear Dr. Paul L. Sorgen,
I am attaching my resume for your reviewfor current Post Doc position in your Laboratory at NebraskaMedical Center, US . I am a graduate student in Biotechnologyworking at Toxicogenomics and Predictive Toxicology Laboratory,Industrial Toxicology Research Centre (ITRC), Lucknow (India) on''Molecular mechanism of polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons inducedhepatotoxicity and development of peripheral proteinbiomarkers''
The thing which I like best is the closeconnection between your research area and its immediateapplication. For me to reach my goal, I must work in your researchgroup. And that is just what leads me to put my candidature foryour perusal for the suitable position. For you further informationregarding me. I am enclosing my CV along with this letter asattachment
I thank for your time and look forward towelcome the opportunity to join your enthusiastic team. Kindlyacknowledge the receiving of my CV by email.
Thanking you
Yours Sincerely,
Aliena Spaceria
Translation for PI:
Here’s a researcher who can’t even get ane-mail to the right PI. How will he/she ever get the rightchemicals in the right test tubes?
Conclusion
There is an old story about the mother whotakes her child to kindergarten on his very first day, and says tothe teacher, “My child is extremely sensitive. If he evermisbehaves, please reprimand the child next to him – thatwill be enough to make sure he gets the message.”
So, I hope that those of you planning to goout on the job market will take this into consideration and learnfrom the examples of how not to get a lab job.
As for me,
see ya, ciao, hasta la vista, feel well,hope u r well,
S.C.
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