Terrified of saying the wrong thing to someone who’s mourning a death? Well, there’s nothing wronger than saying nothing. So...
害怕对悼念亲朋好友的人说错话吗?嗯，不说话才是最大的错误，所以…… Ask questions. “The best one is ‘How are you?’” says Jeff Kane, M.D., author of How to Heal: A Guide for Caregivers. Other good questions (“What was she like?”) encourage the mournerto talk about the person he or she lost.问候以示关切。“最合适的问题是‘你还好吗?’”医学博士杰夫 · 凯恩说，他是《如何愈合伤口：给安慰者的建议》一书的作者。其他好的提问(如“她是一个什么样的人?”)会鼓励哀悼者说一说他或她失去的人。 Don’t ever utter a platitude. It’s tempting to say things like “He’s gone on to a better place” or “At least she’s no longer suffering.” But your grieving friend hears an unintended subtext: “So you shouldn’t feel so bad, ” says Howard Lunche, a bereavement specialist inBerkeley, California.切忌陈词滥调。稍不留神我们就会说出“他去了一个更好的地方”或“至少她不再痛苦了”这样的话。而你那沉浸在悲痛之中的朋友却听到了并非故意的潜台词：“所以你不应该这么伤心。”霍华德 · 伦西如是说道。他是来自加州伯克利的丧亲问题专家。 Replace talk with action. Offer to baby-sit so she can get out of the house. Take her on a walk or bike ride. Stop by with food. Clean her house. “But don’t just ask, ‘Is there anything I can do?’” says Lunche. “Sometimes a bereaved person doesn’t know or can’t express what she needs.”用行动代替语言。主动帮忙照看孩子，这样她就可以离开一段时间。带她去散步或者骑自行车。 带着吃的去她家坐坐。给她打扫打扫屋子。“但是不能只问‘我能帮点忙吗?’”伦西说，“有时候丧失亲人的人不知道或者不能表达她有什么需求。”30天托福快速提分冲110+,听说读写专项突破
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