| Cultural difference Etiquette Difference in Daily Life between Thesis Statement: Because cultures vary from country to country, every country has her own culture and different etiquette in the world. I．Introduction II. Why to know the culture difference? III. What leads to the culture difference? A. Cultural Background B.# Individualism and Collectivism C．Nationalism IV. How differently do people behave in daily life? A. Behavior in daily life 1. Greeting 2. Parting 3. Dining 4. Considerate remark 5. Addressing # B. Occasion dialogue and Response 1. Compliments and Response 2. Apologies and Response 3. Thanks and Response 4. Asking personal Affairs 5.Invitation and Saying Good-Bye V. What can we do with the cultural gap? VI. Conclusion # Abstract: The cultures between Key words: Cultural differences, Cultural difference Etiquette Difference in Daily Life between 1. Introduction Etiquette is not only a culture but also knowledge. It plays an important role of communication in our daily life. To learn different etiquette in daily life is benefit to establish the good relationship and it can help us to learn English. As we know, different country has different etiquette. Different cultural background, individualism and collectivism, nationalism and value factors may result in etiquette differences on politeness between western countries and China which can be found in many aspects of daily communication, including greeting, parting, dining, considerate remarks, addressing, compliments, apologies, thanks, invitation and saying good-bye and so on. Every nation has its own characteristics and every country has her own etiquette. We should learn from their strengths and offset our own weakness.# 2. Why to know culture difference? Each country has his/her own culture. Culture includes knowledge, faith, art, morality, law, custom, etiquette and it is a tool that individual in society takes over ability.（胡文仲，1994：192） Learning culture of different country is very important to communicate between countries. It is also helpful to study English. With 3. What leads to the cultural difference? Different cultural factors may result in cultural differences, and consequently, the acknowledgment of the factors that affect the cultural differences will facilitate the understanding of such differences, since it is impossible to cover all of the factors in this thesis, the factors discussed here are some important ones. # 3.1. Cultural Background One of the reasons that results in cultural difference between China and the western countries are Confucianism(Kung Fu-zi), Taoism(Lao-zi) and other ideologies emerged in Spring and Autumn or Warring Stated Period in Chinese history. As different ideologies developed and combated each other, the basic framework of Chinese civilization was established. And then Confucianism became the foundation stone of Chinese philosophy system. The two chief Confucian concepts are Ren and Yi. What are Ren and Yi? Ren is translated variously as goodness, benevolence, humanity and human-heartedness. In short, Ren means as love of man, or the principle of human association; and Yi was merely what is appropriate, or modern words, one’s fellow beings. For more than 2 thousand years it has molded and shaped the civilization of Different from 3.2 Individualism and Collectivism Individualism refers to the doctrine that the rights of the individual are the most important ones in a society. Most westerners believe that each person has his own separate identity and personality, which should be recognized and reinforced. Therefore, one cannot comprehend the western country and its people without understanding individualism. Only with the cognition of individualism can we understand how westerners conceptualize family, friendships, and privacy. The core of individualism is the pursuit of personality and achievements. (徐行言，2004：186) It is highly valued, earnestly believed and well appreciated as a fundamental social virtue. In Christianity traditions, individuals are important not only to each other, but also to the society and God. Individualism has been handed down from their ancestors. Therefore, to westerners, individualism is not selfishness but rather virtue. They emphasize individualism so much that they believe that there must be something wrong with someone who fails to demonstrate individualism. That likes the sentence “God helps those who help themselves.” However, to Chinese people, the word “individualism” is related to the derogatory meaning as egoism, which represents selfishness in quality and looseness in discipline. In traditional Chinese beliefs, esp. in Confucianism, collectivism is appreciated. It emphasizes cooperation among group members and individual success is due to the collective effort of the staff in a unit, an organization or a community. The sacrifice of individual interest for that of the collective is a noble quality eulogized so much by Chinese people that being modest and thoughtful of others are highly praised.（徐行言，2004：188） 3.3. Nationalism# Different nation has different culture. Since the ancient 4. How differently do people behave in daily life? Cultural differences on etiquette between western country and 4 .1 Behavior in daily life How do we Chinese greet each other? Informally, if we meet acquaintance or friend in the street, we are used to saying: “Hi, have you had your meal?” or “Where are you going?” When it is the case of two gentlemen, they tend to shake hands. However, in the western countries, the above questions are just questions, not greeting at all. They may think you’re inviting them to dinner if you ask about their meals. Usually, they’ll say: “Good morning/evening/afternoon.” “Fine day, isn’t it?” “How is everything?” “Have you eaten yet?” “What are you going to do?” “Where have you been?” And they’ll shake hands only in some formal situations. # Parting may be divided into two steps. Before the final parting, there is usual a leave-taking. Western and Chinese cultures have diverse ways to deal with leave-takings. Firstly, in English society, during the closing phase of an encounter from “I” perspective, reasons for terminating the encounter is presented in mitigatory comments. Typical comments are associated with expressions of apology, such as “I” am afraid I must be off, I have to relieve the baby-sitter” etc. Western people believe that to be willing to visit and converse with someone is to have respect for him; to terminate the visiting is not of one’s own free will, but because of some other arrangements, therefore they always try to make their leaving sound reluctant by finding some reasons and apologize for it to make the leaving acceptable for both parties. English speakers often signal several times before leaving. “Well, it’s been nice to see you again. I do enjoy our talk and the lovely dinner, but I must be going soon”. Thank you very much for asking me over. I hope we’ll be able to get together again before long…” Consolidation in a wider range of common acquaintances also occurs, in expressions such as “Say hello to Jack for me” or “Remember me to John”. In Chinese society, during the closing phase of and encounter, usually, from a “you” perspective, reasons for ending the encounter are set forth in mitigatory expressions. Such expressions include“你挺忙的，我就不多打扰了。”“你一定累了，早点休息吧，我要告辞了。” and so on With these words, they may stand up from their seats. Chinese leave-taking is very short and quick. Western people think it so abrupt that they have not prepare for it. While moving to the door, Chinese employ of apology like“对不起没，打扰了。”“对不起，占用你不少时间。”It should be noted that these expressions employed by Chinese guests to show concern for their hosts can only be appropriate for business visits in the English environment.# The ways people eat, that is, the table manner, really distinguish a lot. The reason for this is probably because of the different dining tools and menus. Easterners use chopsticks, or sometimes even grasp rice straightly with hands as Indians do. The thin and long chopsticks cannot be used to cut food, so we usually use our teeth to act as knives. We hold our food, meat or vegetable, with the chopsticks, send them to the mouths, bite off a part of it and remain the other part on the chopsticks. That’s the usual way we eat. We are also used to hold up our bowls when having rice or soup. Japanese hold bowls to have fish soup without spoons. But all these habits are considered rude in the Western countries. The etiquette in the West requests that when eating, bowls and plates cannot leave the tables. Food should be cut by knives to fit into the mouths. Of course your mouth cannot touch the plates or bowls. So the regular process is like this. You cut your steak on the plate with fork and knife, send the meat cube into the mouth with fork and nothing will be returned back but the fork alone. #In China, we always say“你辛苦了！”、“你一定累了吧！”to show our consideration when somebody is from a far place. While the westerners respond it in a different way. They will say: "How is your trip?" or “You’ve had a long trip” “It must be very interesting." Caring for the old people is the virtue of human race. But different cultures have different styles. In China, people will say“您年纪大了，你坐吧！”when they offer their seats to an old man. But this is regarded as taboo. Westerners don’t like to be said they are old which means they are useless when doing something, according to their culture. However, in Both western and Chinese people have two kinds of personal names-a surname and a given name. But the order and the use of these names in the two languages are somewhat different. In Chinese, the surname comes first and then the given name. And people like add“小”,before their family name, such as“小王”、“小杨#”、“小李”and so on. While westerners’ names are written and spoken with the given name first and the family name last. So John Smith's family name is Smith, not John. In a formal setting, we address men as "Mister", married women as "Misses" and unmarried women as "Miss". These days many women prefer to be addressed using the abbreviations "Ms." or "M.", pronounced "miz". If the person has an M.D. or Ph.D., they will often be addressed as "Doctor". Faculty are addressed as "Professor". In an informal situation, westerners will introduce each other by first name, without titles, and occasionally by just the last name. If you are introduced to somebody by first name, you can address him or her by first name the next time you meet. The only exception would be for someone who holds an important position, such as the university president or provost. Unless they tell you otherwise, faculty should be addressed using their title and last name. When in doubt, use the formal manner of address, since it is better to err on the side of formality. It is also appropriate to ask how they prefer to be addressed. Children should always address adults in the formal fashion, using their title and last name. Another difference is about the form of addressing. From the viewpoint of sociolinguistics, forms of addressing can serve as an indication of the relationship of power and solidarity in the society. In calling their superiors or elders, the Chinese are accustomed to the nonreciprocal or asymmetrical addressing, in other words, they use “title +surname” to address their superior or elders rather than call them surnames, while the superior or elders call the addressers their names. The Chinese tend to abide by the polite principle of depreciating oneself and respecting others to show appropriate respects towards the persons being addressed, otherwise, the addresser may be considered as ill-mannered, ill-educated or rude. But in English speaking countries, people have a tendency to follow the reciprocal or symmetrical addressing. Although they are different in age and status, they can call the other directly, namely, their names, even first names except when they call the doctors, not arousing offence between them, but demonstrating the sense of intimacy and the conception of “Everyone is created equal”. Chinese people feel unnatural addressing a westerner by his given name, feeling that it indicates too close a relationship, and westerners, on the other hand, may feel that if a Chinese insists on using his surname, it indicates an unwillingness to be friendly and maintains a gap between them. So the use of forms like “Miss Mary” or “Mr. Smith” may be a Chinese forms of compromise. With Miss Mary, the use of the given name indicates friendliness, but the addition of the title indicates the respect they feel they ought to show. And with Smith, the lack of a title indicates friendliness, but the use of the surname prevents if sounding too intimate. However, both addressing used by the Chinese sound very strange and uncomfortable to the westerner. # 4.2. Occasion dialogue and Response To compliment is to praise the addressee’s virtues, ability, behavior, appearance, clothing, personality and belongs. Appropriate compliments can serve as effective supplementary means in inter-personal communication. Western and Chinese culture are at polar opposites about compliment. A western hostess, if she is complimented for her cooking skill, is likely to say: “Oh, I am so glad that you liked it. I cook it especially for you.” Not so is a Chinese hostess, who will instead apologize for giving you “Nothing”. They will say“随便做几个菜，不好吃。” Or“今天的菜不好，请多多包涵。” If translate this into English “I just made some dishes casually and they are not very tasty.” Perhaps the foreigner will think why you invite me to you family and have the tasty food. You don't respect me. The English-speaking people are more active to praise others and to be praised than Chinese people. For example, the Americans are “straight forwardness”, while the Chinese take pride in “modesty”. That modesty has left many a Chinese hungry at an Americans table, for Chinese politeness calls for three refusals before one accepts an offer and the Americans hosts take “no ” to mean “no ”, whether it is the first, second or third time. Still bigger differences exist in people’s attitude towards compliments, i.e., in the response to compliments. Chinese are tend to efface themselves in words or refuse it, although they do feel comfortable about the compliments. So many westerners simply feel puzzled or even upset when their Chinese friends refused their compliments. The Chinese people are not intending to be modest with the sacrifice of friendship in doing so, but it is rather due to the traditional Chinese philosophy, that of modesty. The Chinese people regard modesty as a most valuable virtue, so they seldom agree to the compliment on their own. .4.2.2. Apologies and Responses If wrong things are done, there must be apologies .As to how to offer apologies, both western and Chinese people may say: “I am sorry---” ”I apologize for…”etc. But Chinese would like to apologize for the crowded state of their dwellings and for small numbers of dishes, although the room is big enough and there are many dishes. Chinese these to express self-depreciation only out of courtesy, not having other implication. But the westerners would wonder, since the room is so large and there are so many dishes, why do they say so. May be they do not welcome our visit, they don’t like us to eat more. When Chinese contact with westerners, if they do not know these differences, it will lead to misunderstanding. The ways to respond to apologies are different, too. “Than you” is widely used in English to show gratitude in such cases as being invited, helped, given a gift, etc. Cultural differences exist between Chinese and western in how to express thanks and responses. In fact, “Thank you” is uttered in English for more than acknowledging favor or gratitude, and it is often a means to show politeness. On many occasions, the English use this utterance while the Chinese may say “有劳您了。”or do not say a word at all but just smile or nod. As a matter of fact, “Thank you ” is used more widely by westerners than Chinese use“谢谢”, for minor favors like borrowing pencil , asking directions, requesting someone to pass on a message , receiving a telephone, etc. “Thank you” not only shows politeness but also carries a person’s grateful feeling for those who offer help. Without using expressions of gratitude, misunderstandings may arise because the help seems to be taken for granted and is not appreciated, For westerners, each person is an equal individual, whether he is a family member or not. In Chinese, “谢谢”is not frequently used between intimate friends and family members because it may imply a certain distance between the addresser and the addressee. Native speakers may respond to “Thank you” by saying: You are welcome /It’s a /my pleasure/ Not at all/ don’t mention it/That’s all right. While Chinese people may say:“#这是我应该做的”， which may convey to westerners the message that the Chinese did not really want to do it, or that he/she did it only because it was his/her duty. This message is quite different from what the Chinese speaker intended to express.
In British and #5. What can we do with the culture gap? Now we have seen that there exists such a huge gap between Chinese culture and western culture. Then what should we do to face this gap in the gradually globalizing world? Firstly, we cannot deny any of the cultures. Every nation has its own characteristics and it’s mainly through its culture that we first begin to know the nation and its characteristics. So we cannot say that this culture or custom is right and that is wrong. Equal respect should be attached to every culture in the world, even to those that are not in existence any more. Next, we should get to learn how to coordinate the different cultures. The world is becoming smaller and smaller. More foreigners come and go everyday. When it is in the same country, the same city, the same neighborhood, the cultural collision is expected to be more serious. So we should try to avoid misunderstandings result from culture differences. One important thing is to get some basic knowledge about the other cultures so as not to misunderstand some actions or habits of the foreigners. If we abide by the two regulations mentioned above we can start to communicate. I mean we can take in some strong points from the foreign cultures. Though there doesn’t exist correctness in terms of culture, it does have the terms of more advanced or more suitable for the world nowadays. Of course, we cannot throw away our own culture and accept another one totally. Every culture is a treasure to the history of the world. We should learn from other’s strengths and offset our weakness. Conclusion: Etiquette is a kind of culture, a basis for the whole social civilization and the directest and most comprehensive expression style for social civilization. Etiquette must be considered firstly when we want to set up a harmonious society. Nowadays With the development of society, etiquette education is becoming more and more popular. To acquaint the differences will be conductive to our opening the national door, communication and cooperation with western countries and international image establishment. Different culture has different background and different background has different etiquette. We can only pick out those we lack and perfect our own. The cultural gap should not be the obstacle to the civilization century of human being. It ought to be the motivation of our going farther. # # References [1]. Iris, Varner #Linda Beamer 《全球环境中跨文化沟通》，北京：清华大学出版社，2003。 [2]. Oatey, Helen 《与英美人交往的习俗和语言》，上海：上海外语教育出版，1987。 [3]. 胡文仲 《文化与交际》， 北京：北京外语教学与研究出版社，1994。 [4]. 李荣建 宋和平 《外国习俗与礼仪》， 武汉：武汉大学出版社，1996。 [5]. 刘毅政 《实用礼仪大全》，# 内蒙古：内蒙古人民出版社，2001。 [6]. 刘玉学 《涉外礼俗知识必读》， 中国：中国旅游出版社，1997。 [7]. 林大津 《跨文化交际—与英美人交往指南》，福建：福建人民出版社， 1996。 [8]. 宁洪 《社会与文化》，天津：南开大学出版社，2006 [9]. 严考亮 《实用民俗礼仪百事通》， 上海：上海远东出版社，# 2004。 [10]. 徐行言 《中西文化比较》，北京：北京大学出版社， 2004。 |
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