爱是什么？

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译者：CB叉 校对：暖暖

What is love?
爱是什么？

Aditya Gupta

几个世纪以来，诗人、作家、艺术家、哲学家、科学家、人文学家都曾试着对爱情下定义。爱是极少几个能够困扰并吸引每个人的话题之一。

丽莎霍夫曼（Lisa Hoffman）曾动人地说：“爱情就像圆周率——自然，非理性，且至关重要。”

电影《性爱之后》 (Love and Sex) 里，有一句关于爱情的绝妙名言：“爱情是狂喜也是苦闷，是自由也是徒刑，是找到归属也是孑然一身。”

当生活使你痛苦得快被撕裂时是爱给你安慰。爱属于世上极少的几个能赋予生活价值的东西之一。它是人类能够感受到的最强烈的情感之一。爱是当另一个人的欢乐，另一个人的梦想，另一个人的渴望，另一个人的困苦变成了你自己的。你和另一半之间没有间隙。爱是当你看到一个人的脸就马上能感受到他心中所想。这是联系着所有身处爱河中的人们的心灵感应。爱是一切美好关系的基础。

我认为罗伯特·海因莱因 (Robert Heinlein) 将爱诠释得很美：“爱是当另一个人的欢乐成了你自己快乐的必需品。”

爱情似乎是宇宙中留下的唯一合理的存在。真爱是无需物质的依恋。爱是你本能的特殊感受，爱是当你看到另一半时你能感到自己的心跳。爱是当你用全部的时间来思念对方。爱是当你愿意走遍全球只为看一眼你爱的人。爱是当你一整天盯着你的手机希望收到对方报平安的短讯。真爱是无私忘我，而不需要从对方身上得到回报。

科学家们经常将爱定义为一种化学失衡，它会让你在与另一半在一起时感到情绪高涨，心情愉快，激情四射，兴高采烈。海伦费希尔博士 (Dr Helen Fischer) 在一场完美的TED演说时这样解释爱情的进化史、生理基础和社会重要性。

这是一篇完美解释了爱情是什么东西的文章的链接：

What Is Love? Famous Definitions from 200 Years of Literary History

我认为鲍勃·马利 (Bob Marley) 说得很好：

“这是我人生中第一次真心相信，你发现一个人能让你的世界变得完全不一样。你会和他们分享从未和任何人提起的东西，而他们会包容你说的一切，并真的想要了解更多。你和他们分享对未来的希望、永远不会实现的梦想、从未达成的目标、和生活丢给你的许许多多失望。每当美好的事情发生时，你等不及要告诉他们，知道他们会和你一样兴奋。他们在你受伤时陪你痛哭，在你犯傻时陪你欢笑，而不因此感到尴尬。他们从不会伤害你的感情，不会让你感到自己不够好，相反，他们让你拾起自信，让你发现你自己的特别和美丽之处。当他们在你身边时，你不会感到任何压力、妒忌或者竞争，取而代之的是安宁的平静。你可以做你自己而不担心他们会对你产生看法，因为他们爱的是那个真实的你。那些对大多数人来说微不足道的小事，例如一张纸条、一首歌、一段路，都成为了无价的珍宝，被你安藏在心中，用一生来珍视。你孩童时的回忆又浮现出来，那么清晰生动，就像你又回到了年幼的时候。生活中的色彩显得更加明艳美丽。欢笑成为了日常生活的一部分，而在此之前欢乐对你来说那么稀少甚至不曾存在。白日里的一两通电话能支持你度过一整天的工作而面带笑容。他们在的时候，无需一直讲话你也能感到十分充实，只要他们在你身旁。以前你从来提不起兴趣的事情变得吸引人了，因为你知道那件事对那个特别的人来说很重要。很简单的事情也会让你想起他们，即使只是一片纯蓝的天空，温柔的微风，甚至视野里的一片乌云。即使你知道这样可能会让心灵在日后受伤，你还是打开了自己的心扉，你感受到了未曾想象过的爱和愉悦。你发现让自己更易受伤是让自己感受到真正喜悦的唯一途径。你感受到力量，因为你知道你有一个真心的朋友，一个可能会对你保持忠诚直到永远的心灵伴侣。你的人生似乎完全改变了，变得热血澎湃，变得更有价值。你唯一的希望和安全感来自于你确信他们是你生命中的一部分。”

尼尔·盖曼（Neil Gaiman）曾写过一篇完美的文章描述爱情是怎样让人变得脆弱的。

“你曾相爱过吗？糟糕透了不是吗？爱情让你变得那么脆弱。它打开你的胸腔打开你的心房，坠入爱河意味着别人可以钻进你的心里，把你的心绪搅得乱糟糟。你筑起这么多围墙，制造一整副铠甲，就是为了不受到任何事物的伤害，直到这样一个蠢兮兮的人，和任何其他蠢兮兮的人没有任何不同，却闯入了你蠢兮兮的人生中……你把自己的一部分献给了他们。他们并没有向你伸手要。他们某天做了些愚蠢的事情，比如亲吻了你，或者对你笑了一下，然后你的人生就不再是你自己的了。爱情将你变作人质。它钻进你心里。它把你从里到外侵蚀个遍，然后把你留在黑暗里哭泣，像‘也许我们只应该做朋友’这样简单的话语，也会变成玻璃的碎片扎进你的心里。它太伤人了。不仅仅在想象力。不仅仅在精神上。这是一种发自灵魂的伤痛，一种真的会从里到外把人撕裂的痛苦。我恨爱情。”

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Aditya Gupta

Poets, authors, artists, philosophers, scientists and anthropologists have tried to define love for centuries. Love is one of the few subjects that has troubled, intrigued and fascinated everyone.

Lisa Hoffman put it beautifully 'Love is like pi natural, irrational and very important.'

The Movie Love and Sex has a wonderful quote on love: 'Love is ecstasy and agony, freedom and imprisonment, belonging and loneliness.'

Love is what holds you together when life tears you apart. Love is amongst the few things in the world that makes life worth living. It is one of the most strongest emotion that a human being is capable of feeling. Love is when other person's happiness, other person's dreams, other person's aspirations, other person's problems become your own. There is no separation between you and the other person. Love is when you see someone's face and instantly know what they are feeling. There is this telepathic connection that binds all the people that are in love. Love is the foundation of any happy relationship.

I think Robert Heinlein put it beautifully “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”

It seems to be only rational thing left in the universe. True love is attachment without the need of possession. Love is that special feeling in your gut, love is when you can feel your own heart beating on the sight of your lover. Love is when you spend all you time thinking about that person. Love is when you will travel all over the globe just to get a glimpse of the person you love. Love is when you stare at your smartphone all day long hoping that the person that you love will send a message that says that the person is doing okay. True love is always selfless and does not demand reciprocation from the other person.

Scientists have often defined love as a chemical imbalance that makes you feel an emotional high, exhilaration, passion and elation when you and the person that you love are together. Dr Helen Fischer in this wonderful TED Talk explains the evolution of love, it's biochemical foundations and it's social importance.

Here is a link to a wonderful article that tries to explain what love is all about:

What Is Love? Famous Definitions from 200 Years of Literary History

I think Bob Marley put it beautifully:

'Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

Neil Gaiman wrote a wonderful passage on how love makes you vulnerable:

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

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Aditya Gupta

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