你选择了什么 你就是什么 You are what you choose

 

 你选择了什么，你就是什么。

 

• 总是能完全清醒地抉择是引领积极生活的关键。

       清醒地过日子不是一次性的一劳永逸的行为，而是一种使你所做的一切更生机勃勃、更鲜活和更有趣的生活方式。

       人的命运是由无数选择决定的。大部分你生活中将要发生的事来源于你的选择和它们在将来的后果。请注意，清醒的抉择会带来积极的后果；匆忙的、糟糕的抉择带来的是后悔。一些人曾选择了不继续读书，后来发现无法找到好的工作。另有一些人面对困难选择了放弃而不是坚守，事后他们在悔恨中度日。

       抉择可为你带来与过去不同的应对生活的方式，并让你尝试新的事物。自然的条件反射几乎总是会阻碍你获得学习和成长的机会。做清醒的抉择能恢复你选择自己道路的自由。

       你的抉择和周遭事件的相互作用决定你的未来。抉择是人的根本的自由，但是你的无意识的习惯却常常阻碍抉择的产生。请记住这些要点，你就不会再阻碍自己抉择了：

       每个抉择都是探寻新的可能性的宝贵机会并让你的生活变得更好。即使普通的抉择也可能暗含着转变你的未来的可能。因此永远不要允许自己在没有深思熟虑的情况下做出抉择。

       有时他人会给你不好的建议，千万不要成为容易被人牵着鼻子走的那种人。你可以感谢他人的建议和帮助，但是永远要自己做决定。

       不要让习惯主宰你的生活，否则你会错过重要的新鲜的经历。你所要做的就是你之前已经做过的——一次、一次、又一次地做出清醒的抉择。

      要从经历中学到东西，你必须确定你完全请醒你在做什么和你为什么这样做。如果你能找出前因后果，你就会在今后需要时知道如何使用你所学到的知识。如果出问题了，你也会知道到哪里去找寻问题产生的原因。

• 永远要找寻可替代的选择

       人类有许多奇怪的事情，其中之一就是不愿着手选择。人们不喜欢拥有太多选择，这会让他们焦虑。

      每个可替代的选择意味着更复杂、更艰难的决定，以及更多的将事情弄糟的可能。这也是为什么大伙儿更关心不犯错误而不是如何做得正确。他们总是寻找那个唯一、正确的答案——这使得他们相当易受技艺高超骗子的操纵；然而，当他们找不到时，他们就按习惯将可替代的选择缩小在一两个熟悉的事物上。这样做压力小得多。

        如果你想要转变你的生活，请重新开始清醒地抉择而不是无意识习惯地决定。清醒的抉择将代替陈旧的习惯使你拥有发现新的可能性的能力；它会永远增加你学习的机会，并避免你重复过去的错误。

       仔细想想你为你的将来在做些什么吧。你已经忽略了什么可选择的事情？你遗漏了哪一样？把它们写下来。你不必追寻它们，但思考它们一定会阻止你盲目地向前冲。

• 为你的人生负起责来

       你几乎总是拥有比你想到的更多的好选择。无论何时事情发生，你都有一个怎样回应的选择。那是你的选择，没人能拿走。

       我们来看看选择能转变生活的一些小建议：

1. 在做回复前试着选择倾听久些。我们中的大多数太热衷于讲话而不原意在讲话前听得足够仔细。更好的倾听会将你从许多麻烦中拯救出来。
2. 当你情绪激动时，永远不要采取行动。退后一步等待自己镇静下来。气愤、沮丧、嫉妒、恐惧或报复都会制造错误的决定。
3.  试着从他人的角度来看待事情，事情有可能看起来很不一样。
4.  努力避免做匆忙的判断。我们总是太急于匆忙判断谁对谁错。你希望别人也这样对你做出判断吗？不希望？那为什么要这样对他们呢？
5.  不要告诉自己说你做不到。只要你去做，你就能做到。试着告诉自己去尝试是没错的，然后去发现这样做的结果。
6.  不要对自己太严厉！犯错误不是世界末日，犯错是太普通的事了，任何人都可能犯错。只需记住，那种从来不犯错误的人也永远不会做成其他事情。
7.   不要做一个懦弱的人！不要害怕胆大，去尝试新的事情，去冒点儿险。这是唯一开创一种值得过的人生的方法。

• 回顾你未做的选择

      许多人发现时不时客观地看待自己和过往的选择相当有用。你有可能认为去考虑你没有做过的事并认为它对未来转变自己生活有帮助似乎有点傻，其实不然。

      你或许会惊讶地注意到那些没有谈论过和没做过的选择，要么仍然可用要么对解决当前问题有建议作用，它们竟如此之多。乐观的情况是，大多数糟糕的选择能够被中止或扭转，不过所有你需要做的就是对你做过的事、做的原因及结果保持清醒。

      如果不从中吸取教训，犯错误就毫无意义；如果没有指导你做不一样的事情，吸取教训也变得没有必要。

 

You are what you choose

Always making fully conscious choices is the key to a positive life

Living your life consciously isn’t a once-and-for-all action. It’s a way of being that will make everything you do more vibrant, more alive, and more fun.

Destiny is made of choices. Most of what will happen to you depends on the choices you make and their consequences in the future. Careful, conscious choices produce positive outcomes; hurried, poor choices lead to regrets. Some people make poor choices about continuing in education and find themselves blocked from worthwhile jobs. Others choose to give up instead of persevering with difficulties and live to regret it.

Choices offer options to respond differently than you have in the past and try new things. Knee-jerk reactions almost always block your opportunities to learn and grow. Making conscious choices restores your freedom to choose your own way.

The interaction of your choices with events around you produces your future. Choice is the ultimate human freedom, but your automatic habits usually block it. Remember these key points and you won’t be blocked again:

• Every choice is a priceless opportunity to seek out new possibilities and change your life for the better. Even ordinary choices may conceal options that will transform your future. Never allow yourself to make choices without thinking them through.
• Other people sometimes give poor advice. Don’t be the kind of person who’s easily lead. Thank people for their views and help, but always make up your own mind.
• Don’t allow habits to rule your life. If you do, you’ll miss crucial new experiences. All you’ll do is what you’ve done before—again, and again, and again.
• To be able to learn from your experience, you must make sure you’re fully conscious of what you’re doing and why. If you can trace the patterns of cause and effect, you’ll know how to repeat what you’ve learned when you need it again. If it goes wrong, you’ll have some ideas about where to look to find out why.

Always look for alternatives
One of the many oddities about the human race is our reluctance to deal with options. People don’t like having too many choices. It makes them anxious.

Every alternative means more complexity, harder decisions, and more opportunities for messing things up. That’s why many of folk are more concerned about not being wrong than they are about being right. They’re always looking for the one, right answer—which makes them oh so vulnerable to manipulation by con-artists; and, when they don’t find it, they let their habits narrow down their alternatives to one or two familiar ones. It’s much less stressful.

If you want to transform your life, re-establish conscious choice in place of all those automatic, habitual decisions. This will give you back your ability to find fresh options to replace worn out habits; permanently increase your opportunities to learn; and free you from repeating past mistakes.

Think about what you’re doing about your future. What alternatives have you been ignoring? Which ones have you skipped over? Write them down. You don’t have to follow them, but thinking about them sure beats rushing ahead blindly.

Stay in charge of your life
You nearly always have more good options than you think. Whenever something happens, you have a choice about how to respond. That’s your choice. No one can take it away.

Let’s look at some areas where simple choices can transform your day:

• Try choosing to listen longer before giving a response. Most of us are too keen to talk and not willing to listen carefully enough before we do so. Better listening will save you from many screw-ups.
• Try never to take action when you’re feeling emotional. Step back and wait until you’ve calmed down. Anger, frustration, jealousy, fear, or revenge make poor advisers.
• Try seeing things from the other person’s point of view. It might look very different.
• Try to avoid making snap judgments. We’re all too eager to rush into deciding who’s right and who’s wrong. Do you like people making such judgments about you? No? So why do it to them?
• Don’t tell yourself what you can’t do. As soon as you do this, it’ll be true. Try telling yourself it’s okay to try it and find out.
• Don’t take yourself so seriously! Mistakes aren’t the end of the world. They’re so common, anyone can make them. Just remember the person who never made a mistake, never made anything else
• Don’t be a wimp! Don’t be afraid to be bold, try new things, take a few risks. That’s the only way to create a life worth living.

Revisit your unused options
Many people find it really helpful to take an objective look at themselves and their past choices from time to time. It may seem silly to think about what you haven’t done as a source of things that might help you transform your life in the future, but it’s not.

You may be surprised to notice how many of those unvisited and unused options are either still available, or suggest ideas for solving your current issues. The good news is that maybe the majority of poor choices can be undone or reversed. All it takes is to stay aware of what you did, why you did it, and what the outcome was.

There’s really no point in making mistakes unless you learn from them; and no point in learning unless you do something differently as a result.

 

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