The search for meaning is a constant theme in our lives and we try to find it in many different ways. I believe that meaning can be found in the way we add to the world. Let me explain.
Step One: Take control
Austrian psychiatrist and survivor of the holocaust Victor Frankl tells us in Man's Search for Meaning that between stimulus and response there is a gap, and in that gap lies the whole of our experience. Unlike Pavlov's dogs, we are free to choose our responses to the things that come our way. Many – perhaps most – people go through life on autopilot, reacting in the same habituated ways they have learned over the course of their life, often rehearsing the scripts they developed as children.
In adult life, many of these scripts are maladaptive and only serve to impoverish our experience and damage us and those we love. When we react defensively to a criticism, when we start to get angry because we are stuck in a traffic jam, when we keep on smoking despite knowing how bad it is, we are ignoring the gap and abdicating our freedom.
But the truth is that we are free – we are not robots, we are not like dogs salivating when a bell rings. We are pulling our own strings and when the stimulus comes we can take control, change our response and hence change our life. Of course, the power of our habits is strong and keeps pulling us back, but the gap is always there, even after a long lifetime of unconscious behavior, and over time we can expand the gap and become more free. In The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People, Steven Covey calls this being proactive, the first step towards a life of meaning. In truth, we have always been in control, but we need to realize this before can move on.
Step Two: Adding Value
Once we have seen that we can change our own life and construct our own experience, we are able to orchestrate things so that we experience greater meaning.
But what gives meaning to our lives? Is it money, property, a successful career, a big car, an attractive spouse or partner? I'm sure most people would agree that these things in themselves do not add lasting and profound meaning to us.
Albert Einstein said that 'only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile,' and I believe that a life of service to others is what truly brings meaning. I prefer to use the term adding value, since this describes what I mean more accurately.
The term 'service' suggests that we have to give up our jobs and money to go help the poor and destitute. I know several people who have done just this, and they have certainly found happiness and peace in their choice of lifestyle. But a life of adding value does not mean abandoning your own needs and desires. It is not the same as sacrifice. Far from it – when we truly add value to the lives of others, we cannot help but receive value ourselves.
Examples of this kind of synergy abound in nature. For example, tree roots are often surrounded by fungal growths that take nutrients from the trees. Having no chloroplasts of their own, the fungi cannot synthesize the precursors of respiration, and so they piggyback on the trees' ability to do this. In return, the tree gets to use the fungi's vast subterranean network, extending its own reach and sucking in more nutrients from the soil. The soil, of course, gets this all back – and more – when the tree dies.
Our own body is, perhaps, the ultimate example of synergy in nature, all organs and system working together to create a wonderful entity where the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.
Adding value is the only real way to live a meaningful life. Victor Frankl said that we must detect the meaning in our own lives, and I think what he meant by this was that we need to figure out the best way of adding value.
Step Three: Do What You Love
So the question remains, how can we add value? I believe the answer to this is surprisingly simple.
To quote Steve Jobs in a speech he gave in 2005, 'Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking.'
Through Apple, Steve Jobs has undoubtedly added immense value to the world. He did it by following his heart and has been richly rewarded for it. The same can be said for many famous, successful and wealthy people.
The formula is simple. Find what you love. Do it. Add value. Be a success. Perhaps the first step is the hardest. Do you know what you love? There is little more important in life than finding out.
Finally, some food for thought. In Making a Life, Making a Living, Mark Albion cites a study carried out by Srully Blotnick. The careers of 1,500 business school graduates were tracked from 1969 to 1980 and were split into two groups: group A said they wanted to make money first so they could do what they really wanted later, and group B said they would follow their interests first, regardless of financial considerations. At the end of the study, there were 101 millionaires. All but one came from group B.
Henry David Thoreau 说“大多数人都生活在一种安静的绝望当中，”Miguel Torga,一位伟大的葡萄牙作家说过“生活的意义是我们赋予她的，我们的富足，我们的热情，我们的骄傲—抑或我们的懦弱。”
寻找生命的意义是我们生活中一个永恒的主题，我们用各种不同的方法去尝试发现。我相信如果我们可以为这个世界带来些什末就会发现生命的意义。让我解释如下。
第一步：取得控制
奥地利心理学家、大屠杀中的幸存者Victor Frankl告诉我们在人们寻找意义的时候，在激励和反应中间存在一个缺口，这个缺口在我们一生的经历当中都是存在的。与Pavlov的狗不同的是，我们可以对生命中出现的事物自由地做出我们的反应。许多乃至大多数人驾驶着自动舵穿梭于自己的生命历程中，总是习惯性地用他们在课堂中学来的方法做出同样的反应，经常上演他们儿时就编写好的剧本。
在成人的生活中，许多这样的剧本已经不再适应环境，只能让我们的经验趋于枯竭，让我们和我们所爱的人受到伤害。当我们面对批评做出自我防御的姿态时，当我们被困在交通堵塞时开始发脾气时，当我们明知道吸烟有害却依然去做时，我们忽视了那个缺口，也放弃了我们的自由。
但事实是我们是自由的，我们不是机器人，我们不象狗一样听到铃声响起就开始垂涎。我们是自己的编剧，当面对各种条件时我们可以去控制，去改变我们的反应，从而去改变我们的生活。
第二步：增加附加值
一旦我们发现我们可以改变自己的生活并组建自己的经历，我们就可以精心编排，这样我们的经历就会更加有意义。
但是生活中什末是有意义的呢？金钱，财产，成功的职业，豪华的汽车，光彩照人的配偶或是合作者？ 我相信大多数人都认同这些并不能为我们带来持续的、深刻的意义。
爱因斯坦说过“只有为他人而存在的生命才是值得的，”我也相信能服务于他人的生命才是能带来真正的意义。 我更喜欢用增加附加值这个说法，因为这样更能清楚地表达我想要描述的东西。
“服务”这个词告诉我们需要放弃我们的工作和金钱去帮助贫困的人。我知道不少这样做的人，他们都在自己所选择的生活方式中感受到了幸福和安宁。但是能够增加附加值的生活并不意味着要放弃你个人的需要和愿望。这不等同于牺牲，甚至相距甚远— 当我们真正的为别人的生活带来附加值时，我们不是在帮助别人而是在丰富我们自己。
这样协作互利的例子在自然界中大量存在。比如，树根的周围经常被某种真菌环绕着，它们从树种汲取养分。因为自己没有叶绿体，它们无法合成呼吸需要的某种细胞，因此它们依赖树的能力去完成。反过来，树木可以利用这种真菌的位于地表下的广阔的网络，延伸其从土壤中获取养分的能力。当然土壤将会获得全部作为回报，甚至更多—当树木死去的时候。
我们自己的身体也许是自然界中协作的终极典范，所有的器官和系统一起工作从而创造了一个绝妙的个体，使得整体相比于任何一个部分都显得十分强大。
增加附加值是让生命有意义的唯一方式。Victor Frankl说我们必须去探索发现各自生命的意义，我想他的意思是指我们需要去寻找各自最好的方式来增加附加值。
第三步：做你热爱的事情
这里问题又来了，我们怎样才能增加附加值？我相信答案是惊人的简单。
引用以下Steve Jobs2005年的演讲时说的话，“你的工作将会占据你生命中的一大部分，真正也是唯一能让你获得满足的就是去做你认为伟大的工作。而唯一能做出伟大工作的方法就是热爱你所做的工作。如果你还没有找到它，请接着寻找。”
在苹果公司的发展过程中，Steve Jobs毫无疑问的为这个世界带来了巨大的价值。 他追随自己的内心因此也获得了巨大的回报。同样的道理对于许多有名的，成功而富有的人都是成立的。
道理很简单。找到你热爱的事，然后去做。增加价值。 取得成功。也许第一步最为艰难。 你知道自己热爱什末吗？生活中没有什末比找到它更为重要的了。
最后，提供一些参考。在“生活，生存”中， Mark Albion引用了Srully Blotnick进行的一项研究。 在1969至1980年追踪1500多名商学院的毕业生的职业经历，结果分为2组，A组说他们希望先挣钱然后就可以再去做自己喜欢的事情；B组说他们将追随自己的兴趣，不考虑经济上的因素。 在研究结束时，有101为百万富翁。只有1名不是来自B组。
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