1 ：我的优点是：我很帅；但是我的缺点是：我帅得不明显。
My advantage is that I am handsome, but my shortcoming is that it is obvious
that I am not handsome enough.
2 ：谈钱不伤感情，谈感情最他妈伤钱。
Talking about money does not hurt feelings;
but damn that it really took me much money in talking about our feeling.
3 ：我诅咒你一辈子买方便面没有调料包。
I curse you fever to buy instant noodles without flavoring packets.
4 ：虽然你身上喷了古龙水，但我还是能隐约闻到一股人渣味儿。
Although you sprayed some cologne, but I can still taste
some scummy smelt out of you.
5 ：有一次我上街，一群女孩把我拦住。她们说我帅，我不承认。
她们就打我，还说我虚伪。
Once I went shopping on street, a group of girls stopped me.They said that
I was handsome .But I admitted it, and then they beat me and
said I was hypocritical.
6：史上最神秘的部门：有关部门。
The most mysterious department in the history is the department concerned.
7 ：我这辈子只有两件事不会：这也不会，那也不会。
I have only two things that I can't do in my life
–I can't do this and I can't do that.
8：人家有的是背景，而我有的是背影。
The others have their backgrounds, but I only have the sight of my back.
9：别把虾米不当海鲜。
Never treat shrimps not as seafood.
10：我是天使，回不去天堂是因为体重的原因。
I am an angel, but I can't go back to heaven just because of my weight.
11：骗子太多，傻子明显不够用了。
Since there are so many liars, it is very obvious that idiots are not enough.
12：你的手机比话费还便宜。
Your phone is much cheaper than the phone fare.
13：不怕偷儿带工具，就怕偷儿懂科技！
Never afraid of thieves with tools, but afraid that they understand technology.
14：如果太阳不出来了，我就不去上班了；如果出来了，我就继续睡觉！
If the sun does not come out, and I am not going to work;
if coming out, I would like to go to sleep!
15 ：白马啊…你死去哪了！是不是你把王子弄丢了不敢来见我了。
Ah，White Horse ... Where are you dying ! Whether you lost the prince ，
so you did not dare to meet me .
