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【双语阅读】Forgetting Someone in 8 Steps: Mending a Broken Heart

Forgetting Someone in 8 Steps: Mending a Broken Heart

break up can be tough. Sometimes, it's even hard for both sides--after all,

breaking up is not easy to do. It hurts to throw away your story with someone--all the good memories and the dreams and plans you two had for the future. Mending a broken heart takes time and patience. But you must face the fact that your heart is broken. It doesn't matter if you wish things could be different or if you even regret something you did. It doesn't matter if you think you shouldn't have become that involved with that person or if you're angry and looking for revenge. The fact is: Your heart is broken! This relationship advice can help.

Even if the only thing you want to do is win your partner back - and by the way, if you're interested in doing this then I strongly recommend The Magic of Making Up - when a relationship is truly over, it's time to begin the healing process.

So now what? Are you going to sit and cry for the rest of your life or do you intend to do something? Was that ending your fault or are you not the one to blame? Is there something you can do to fix it? Is there something you should stop and think about so you can act in a better way the next time 'round? Is mending a broken heart even possible? Of course it is! Getting over a break up is possible. There are many things you can do to heal a broken heart! And the best thing is: It all depends on you! Here's how to forget someone in 8 steps.

Step 1

Cry out everything you have to cry about! When we get hurt, it's normal (and good) to cry. Don't ever think you're being weak for crying and don't feel embarrassed because of it! It's normal and it's good! When you cry, you let go of part of your anger and hurt so you can feel less heavy. You can lock yourself in a room, if you want to, and put on some sad music...but let yourself feel the pain and cry so you can let it go. The main thing here is: Get rid of the pain! Just let her go!

Step 2

Get busy!

When you're trying to get someone out of your head, you need to put other things inside of it.

In other words...get busy! It doesn't matter how, you just need to get distracted. Go to a movie, watch a play, travel. It doesn't matter what are you going to do--the important thing is to find something to do. Find a hobby, find something you enjoy doing, something to keep your mind busy. If your mind is busy, it doesn't have time or space to think about the person you're trying to forget.

Step 3

Spend some time with your friends. Friends are always great to have in this kind of situation! Friends can make you feel good about yourself and get you distracted very easily. They will certainly make you laugh and make you see that you're way more important than you think! The only warning is: Ask them not to talk about the person you're trying to forget. If they start bringing the topic up in every conversation, you won't be able to forget, and instead of making you laugh, they're going to make you cry. So be honest and ask them not to talk about it!

Step 4

Avoid the person! Try not to go to places you know you can meet that person. When you're trying to forget someone and you two keep seeing each other, it can be even harder to get over it. If you meet him/her somewhere, be polite, but find an excuse to go away as fast as you can! If you work or study with him/her and you can't avoid seeing him/her, just try not to look and not to talk too much. Just be gentle and keep busy all the time so you won't have excuses to look at him/her or to chat.

Step 5

Go out and see some different faces! Being at home gives you more time to think about the relationship, which makes the process of working through the end of that relationship even more difficult. So even if you're not feeling excited or you're in a bad mood, just put on your best clothes, best shoes, best smile, call some friends and go somewhere nice where you can dance, drink, listen to some music. And the most important: See some different faces! When you go out, you notice that the person you're trying to forget is not the only one who's got a perfect smile and an amazing voice...thank god, there are other interesting people in the world!

Step 6

Avoid every kind of romantic thing! If you're trying to forget someone, you'd better not watch romantic movies or listen to romantic songs...it makes you feel bad and you will certainly remember the person you're trying to forget. It doesn't matter if it's a song you love or if it's playing on the radio...just change the station or do something else. Put on some happy songs, dancing songs, watch some comedies, terror movies, whatever...you just need to avoid the romantic things for now!

Step 7

Take good care of yourself. Women tend to run for some kind of self-destruction when they're hurt. If we break up our perfect relationship, then we have no reason to get our nails done anymore and the only thing that gives us comfort is chocolate and sugar. That way, the only thing we do is to become less attractive and lessen our self-confidence. So if you're hurt, just try to use your pain for yourself instead of against you. Go to the gym, work out a lot, get your nails and hair done...do whatever you can so you can feel more pretty and confident!

Step 8

Accept the process! You can be really strong and it's still going to hurt. The process takes time and you have to accept that. You can't hope to forget in 2 days someone you loved for 2 years...and you can't pretend to be strong if you feel like crying. Just face your pain and accept that it's not easy and it's going to take some time. When you're patient with yourself and your situation, things tend to get easier...

Of course, forgetting someone is not easy to do nor is it easily explained in just 8 steps. But there are some things that make the process a lot smoother. As I said, it takes time and it's hard but I'm sure you can do it. The only thing that is really, really important is: It all depends on you! Don't ever forget that. If you want to forget someone, then you will, there is no doubt! Even if it takes a long time, even if you have to be really strong...you will be! In that kind of situation we usually find out that we are a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for. So believe that -- believe that, take a deep breath and move on! Your life's waiting for you, baby!

怎样忘记一个人?

浪漫的关系可能会恶化,甚至可能最终以分手糟糕地结束。在这个“悲伤的结局”中最坏的事是,至少一人会心碎。渡过分手可能是困难的。有时,这甚至对双方都是困难的——毕竟,分手不是件容易做到的事。忘记你与某人的故事令人伤心——所有你们的美好回忆、梦想和计划。修补一颗破碎的心需要时间和耐心。但是你必须面对的事实是,你的心碎了。如果你想那本可不同,或者后悔你做过的某些事,没关系。如果你认为你根本不该与那个人发生关系,或者生气和想要复仇,没关系。事实是: 你的心碎了! 以下关系建议可以帮助你。

即使你唯一想做的事情就是赢得你的伴侣回来—顺便说一下,如果你有兴趣做这个的话我强烈推荐 The Magic of Making Up 这本书—如果一个关系确实结束了,是时候开始治愈了。

那现在怎么办呢?你要在你的余生坐在地上哭泣,还是做些别的事情?这是你的错,还是你没错?有没有什么事,值得你停下来想想,可以修复它?有没有什么事,值得你停下来想想,可以亡羊补牢?有没有可能,修补一颗破碎的心?当然可能!越过分手这道坎是可能的。你可以做许多事来治愈一颗破碎的心!最重要的事是:这完全取决于你!下面是如何忘记某人的八个步骤:

第一步

哭出你想诉说的一切! 当我们受伤时,哭泣是正常的(也是好的)。永远不要觉得哭泣让你显得弱小,或者觉得尴尬,因为哭泣是正常的,哭泣是正确的!在你哭泣的时候,你部分的愤怒和伤害感会消失,因此你可以觉得不那么消沉。你可以把自己锁在一个房间里,如果你想,还可以听一些悲伤的音乐…但当你悲伤时,哭出来,以让悲伤消失!重要的一点是:摆脱痛苦!让痛苦离开!

第二步

忙碌起来! 当你试图让别人从你的脑子离开,你需要把别的东西放进在里面。换句话说,……忙碌起来!途径不重要,关键是要分心。看电影、看话剧、旅行。你打算做什么都没关系——重要的是找些事情做。找一个爱好,找一些你喜欢做的事情,让你的大脑忙起来。当你的脑子忙起来,你的大脑就会没有时间和空间来思考试图忘记的人。

第三步

多花些时间与你的朋友在一起。 在这种情形下,与一些朋友在一起总是最好的!朋友可以让你对自我感觉良好,让你容易分心。他们肯定会让你发笑,让你觉得你自己远远更重要!唯一的警告是:要求他们不要谈论你正试图忘记的那个人。如果他们的每段对话里都有那个人,你就会很难忘记,这不会让你笑,而会让你哭。所以要诚实,并要求他们不要谈论它!

第四步

避免遇到那个人! 尽量不去你知道你能遇到那个人的地方。当你试着去忘记一个人,你们两个却不停地看到对方,就会更难过去。如果你在某处见到他/她,要有礼貌,但要找到一个借口使你尽快离开!如果你和他/她一起工作或学习,你不能避免见他/她,则试着不要去看太多,不要说得太多。保持礼貌和保持忙碌的状态,于是你不会有借口去看他/她或聊天。

第五步

走出去,看看不同的脸! 呆在家会有更多思考这段感情的时间,这会令情感的结束更加困难。因此,即使你没有兴奋或者不快,也要穿上最好的衣服,鞋子,带上最灿烂的笑容,叫上一些朋友一起去个好地方,在那里你可以跳舞、饮酒、听音乐。最重要的是:看看不同的脸!当你出去时,你会发现,你试图忘记的人不是唯一一个有完美微笑和美妙声音的人…感谢上帝,世界上还有其他有趣的人!

第六步

避免任何浪漫的事! 如果你想忘记某人,你最好不要看浪漫电影或者听浪漫歌曲…它使你感觉糟糕,你肯定会想起你要忘记的人。如果恰好那是你喜欢的歌曲,或者正好在广播中播放……就换个台或者做别的事情。欣赏一些快乐歌曲,舞曲,看些漫画,恐怖电影,等等…你只需要暂时避免浪漫的事!

第七步

照顾好你自己。 当女性受到伤害时,她们总会做些自我毁灭的事情。我们结束了我们的完美关系,我们就没有理由修剪指甲了,只有巧克力和糖会给我们带来些安慰。如果这么想,我们只会变得减少吸引力和自信。因此,如果你受伤了,就试图用你的痛苦来帮助你,而不是对抗你。去健身房、多做些工作、修好指甲、剪好头发…做些可使你觉得漂亮,有自信的事!

第八步

接受这个过程! 你确实可以变得很强大,虽然那依然痛苦。这个过程需要时间,而且你必须接受这个过程。别指望在2天里忘记你爱了2年的人…如果你觉得想哭,你不能假装强大。你只能去面对你的疼痛并且接受。这不是容易的,这将需要一段时间。如果你耐心地对待自己和自己的情况,会让事情更容易过去……

当然,忘记一个人并不容易做到,用八个步骤解释也不容易。但这么做会使这个过程更顺利。就像我说的,它需要时间,它是困难的,但我相信你能做到。唯一真正重要的是:它完全取决于你!永远不要忘记这一点。如果你想要忘记一个人,那么你能做到,毫无疑问!即使要花很长的时间,即使你必须变得真正强大…你会成功的!在这种情况下,我们通常发现,我们比我们想象中更强大。因此相信——相信这些,深呼吸,然后继续前进!你的人生等待你,孩子!

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