DREAMLAND DREAMLAND DREAMLAND
Valentine's Day may be around the corner.
情人节快要来了。
But dating and interest in romance and intimacy are normal parts of being a teen all year long.
然而，约会以及对恋情和亲密接触兴趣则一整年都会伴随青少年们。
Online dating is the new normal, especially for kids locked up by COVID.
如今，网上约会已经成了新的日常，尤其是对因为疫情被隔离在家的青少年们来说。
4.While online dating has many benefits, it is not without risks.
尽管网上交友有很多好处，但也伴随风险。
5.It's never too late, but the best way to help your kids have healthy and safe relationships is to address dating online before it becomes an issue.
随时都可以，但要帮助孩子们拥有健康而安全的关系的最佳方式还是在出现问题之前就跟他们讨论网上交友的事情。
6.Have conversations with your kids about what dating is like and how it is affected by social media (not to mention a pandemic).
你需要跟孩子们谈谈约会是什么样的，以及它如何受到了社交媒体的影响（不用说还有疫情）。
7.It's likely as confusing for them as for you.
这对于你和对于孩子们来说都是让人迷惑的。
8.The rules of dating are confusing enough IRL.
哪怕在现实世界中，约会的规则也是足够复杂的。
9.Starting the conversations before they are needed can alleviate a lot of the emotion and potential embarrassment because it isn't so personal yet.
在出现问题之前就开始这种谈论可以减少很多情感上可能的尴尬，不让就会显得很有针对性。
1. Stay calm保持冷静
10.Remain calm, positive, and nonjudgmental.
要保持冷静，积极而不要评判别人。
11.Be prepared to explain how things look from your side but be sure to listen to your child as well.
要准备好向孩子们解释站在你这边看事情是怎样的，但是同时也一定要听孩子们的反馈。
2. Be curious but compassionate好奇但具有同情心
12.Ask your kids where they hang out and meet friends or who they have met that seems special.
你可以问问孩子们他们在那里约会交友又或者他们遇到的人里有没有让他们感觉特别的。
13.Be respectfully curious about their experience.
对于他们的感受要有兴趣，但同时要尊重。
3. Be a safe space提供安全感
14.Be nonjudgmental to encourage open communication.
不要去评判，这样来鼓励孩子们敞开心扉去交流。
15.Avoid teasing and focus on validating your child's feelings.
避免嘲笑，专注于体会孩子的感受。
16.Even if you think they are being foolish, their feelings are very real to them.
就算你感觉他们在犯傻，他们的感受对于他们自己来说也是很真实的。
17.If you can't think of anything helpful to say, just listen.
如果想不到什么好的建议，就听着就行。
18.Remember that you are modeling relationship behavior every time you interact with your child, so practice what you preach.
请记住，每次与孩子互动时，你都是在为关系行为树立一个模式，所以要言行一致。
19.Be the safe place your child feels comfortable bringing their questions, confiding their experiences, and getting advice or support.
做一个安全的避风港，让你的孩子可以放心地提出他们的问题，倾诉他们的经历，并得到建议或支持。
4. Remind kids to protect their identity提醒孩子们要保护好自己的身份信息
20.The allure of romance and desire for connection can make normal precautions about sharing personal information feel unnecessary or even undesirable.
浪漫的诱惑和对恋情的渴望会让他们感觉分享个人信息的正常预防措施变得没有必要，甚至不可取。
5. Focus on critical thinking and problem-solving skills专注于批判性思维和解决问题的技巧
21.Help kids try to see a situation independent of their emotions.
帮助孩子们尝试脱离情感来看事情。
22.Help them visualize possible outcomes of different choices by playing "What would happen if…."
可以通过玩“如果...那会怎么样”的游戏来帮孩子们思考不同选择的后果。
23.For example, discuss situations in which people try to take advantage of kids online, like asking a kid to switch on a webcam or asking for a sext.
例如，可以讨论一些情形里，有人会在网上利用孩子们，让他们打开摄像头或者要求发不雅信息。
6. Have open and ongoing conversations about healthy relationships关于健康的恋情要进行公开而持续的讨论
24.Healthy relationships are important in all aspects of life, but they are particularly important when it comes to understanding consent and consensual behavior.
健康的恋情对生活的各方面都很重要，而说道理解同意和赞同的行为时则尤为重要。
25.It’s important that kids understand how and when to set boundaries.
很重要的就是让孩子们理解如何，以及何时去设立边界。
26.Abusive actions and relationships aren't just about physical violence; stalking, coercion, and psychological abuse can happen online.
虐待行为和关系不仅仅是身体暴力；跟踪、胁迫和心理虐待都可能在网上发生。
7. Share accurate information分享准确的信息
27.Address some of the serious pitfalls like sexting.
要谈论一些很危险的陷阱比如网上不雅谈话。
28. Don't try to scare them, just give your kids the facts.
不要去恐吓他们，只需要给出事实。
29.Nothing is ever completely secure or private.
没有什么是完全安全或者隐私的。
30.Sexts can be shared without your permission across almost every platform.
这种不雅内容的谈话可能会未经许可以几乎任何一种平台传播。
31.There are legal ramifications of sexting.
这样的内容是有法律后果的。
8. It's all about healthy relationships最终还是希望孩子们能有健康的恋情
32.Focus on helping your kids develop healthy, caring relationships of mutual respect no matter where they occur.
专注于帮助你的孩子发展健康、相互尊重的恋爱关系，无论是网上还是线下。
33.What's online this week might be IRL next.
有可能这周还是网恋下周就变线下了。
34.Good skills, however, last a lifetime and are worth the effort.
然而，好的恋爱技能则是可以持续一生，并且是值得去付出努力的。
对于文中提到的网上约会可能存在的问题，你有什么看法呢？
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