today’s lecture is about change
no quick-fix, it takes time, no five easy steps to happiness.
do i really want to change?
even if they have the best of genes will not do as well as people with less happy genes who work on it. so work matters a great deal.
genes: 50%
external circumstances: 10%
intentional activities(abc): 40%, what we focus on
a: affect, emotion, the heart, it’s a connection between, and it’s a more logical connection, linguistic connection between emotion, motivation, motion.
gradual change, mindful meditation
进行了2-3分钟的冥想
闭眼、呼吸、专注呼吸、把呼吸带到身体异样的地方
Tara Bennett Goleman, in her book, 'Emotional Alchemy’: ”mindfulness means seeing things as they are, without trying to change them, the point is to dissolve our reactions to disturbing emotions, being careful not to reject the emotion itself.” this is what permission to be human is all about.
PTSD is an acute change, it’s terrible.
and my question is: ” can a single positive experience create a positive channel that will lead to a permanent increase in wellbeing, calm and positive memories, in other words, the opposite PTSD."
what is the peak experience.
Maslow’s definition of a peak experience: "it’s a generalization for the best moments of the human being, for the happiest moments of life, for experiences of ecstasy, rapture, bliss, of the greatest joy. I found that such experiences came from profound aesthetic experiences such as creative ecstasies, moment of mature love, perfect sexual experiences, parental love, experiences of natural childbirth, and many others."
to enhance the PPEO, we can
permission to be human, acceptance, accepting emotions. painful and enjoyable experience
mindfulness, being present, really listen the music
having a meaningful goal
not on the rush, it’s killer of peak experience
replacing the image again and again
writing about the PPEO, not analyze, just describe it
taking time
taking action
B, behavior.
after class, introducing the model of change
attitudes affect behavior
behaviors also affect attitude
congruency, consistency.
we all have habits, habits are behavioral patterns, thinking patterns. behaviors are more powerful. action is more powerful than words. if we have a certain behavior that we had before the class. what the class does is change your attitude about a certain thing, but if it doesn’t match with your behavior, after the class the mind looks for consistency, the attitude is gonna be pulled down back to where it was before, unless your behavior changes to match your change of behavior.
the letter!!!
communicate a message by our behaviors
fake it till you make it
acute change—coping things, from comfort zone to stretch zone
there is no other way to change, nothing will happen unless we bring about real actual behavioral change. and when we do that, the the sky is the limit.
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