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《剑14》Test 2 大作文范文解析,环境问题到底有哪些?

本期大作文供稿:

章跃

《剑14》Test 2 大作文题目

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Some people say that the main environment problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say there are more important environment problems.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

写作范文及解析

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Our environment is suffering [选用的词汇的含义应该带一些“评价色彩”,比如这里的suffer就是“负评价”] the decreased biodiversity. Serious as it is considered[这里是一个“形容词+as+逻辑主语+be动词”结构的让步状语] this problem is not the major one. There are other environmental problems which are more threatening [选用的词汇的含义应该带一些“细节”,比如这里的threatening就比important有细节意义,也是对高频词important的一种“有意义细节的”替换]

Although it is indeed a misfortune [选用的词汇的含义应该带一些“评价色彩”,比如这里的misfortune就是“负评价”] that there are fewer species of animals and plants, it is only when a person reaches a certain point of life, normally an old age, that the person may be particularly conscious about animal life as well as plant life. [主句部分是一个“强调”句] This may be illustrated by the observation that older people tend to grow flowers in the garden or to keep pets in the household and probably no longer care much about their habitation or resources. Their sympathy may be right, their worldview is however narrow. As a matter of fact, there are issues that are more pressing [选用的词汇的含义应该带一些“细节”,比如这里的pressing就比important有细节意义,也是对高频词important的一种“有意义细节的”替换] than the extinction of a few species. Also, as this worldview is adopted only by a small population of people who no longer have the material pursuit, it is likely to misrepresent what actually matters. 

The vast majority of people are more likely to be concerned about the air they breathe and the water they drink. This makes a lot of sense. [这里用短句控制信息节奏] The quality of air and water decides human lives. [接下来用例证] For example, a person could die drinking contaminated water or get sick inhaling polluted air, whereas the person would not lose his or her life when some species of animals or plants become extinct. In addition, sometimes, the loss of some species of plants and animals is the effect of the nature’ law, and when humans should not interfere, it is certainly not as big a problem as is thought. Distinct from that, the problems with air and water ensue from stupid human activities, and they can be prevented. 

In light of the above, the main problem with our Mother Nature [“大自然”的意思] is not the less diverse species of animals and plants. Pollution is more troublesome [选用的词汇的含义应该带一些“细节”,比如这里的troublesome就比important有细节意义,也是对高频词important的一种“有意义细节的”替换]

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