我一辈子不生娃，41岁就退休养老

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里很自信的人。（我们在一起）可自信的老于，却不会浪漫。刚谈恋爱时，他第一次送我生日礼物，竟然是一套英语磁带。后来还给我买过亮闪闪的大红色的衣服，我特别开心地穿上去照镜子，发现特别傻。热恋中的人，总是“一日不见，如隔三秋。”我们总是想尽一切办法见面。我们每周都会见一次，一周我去北京，一周他来天津。那时候，我们都是穷学生，靠省下的饭票钱买火车票。每次分别时，我俩都会流眼泪。他一个大男人，哭得那么动情，真的是很要命。（恋爱时一起爬山）04有一次，我去北京找他。在公共汽车上，我们玩累了都睡着了，在下车的时候，我的背包忘在了车上。我的钱包、证件都在里面，当时我急哭了。老于非常冷静，我们立刻乘坐后面的车，赶到终点站。经过他一番沟通，原本快下班的工作人员帮我们打电话，联系了几位司机，最后终于把包找到了。那一刻，他没有埋怨我的粗心大意，也没有责备我哭鼻子，而是笑盈盈地拉着我离开了车站。当时，我心里特别踏实，心想，这就是那个对的人吧。（我们去领结婚证）大学毕业前，我就跟妈妈说，我有男朋友了，让她见一下。我妈带着我小侄女，和我们一起吃了饭。在给女儿挑选对象这件事上，妈妈总是很细心的。见面后，妈妈悄悄告诉我说，这个男孩看上去挺靠谱的，没准真能HOLD住我。原来，我妈一直觉得我性格有些孤僻，担心我找不到合适的男朋友。我告诉妈妈：“这个就是网友，怎么样，网友也有靠谱的吧？”大学毕业后，我就回深圳工作了。热恋中的我们，开始考虑未来怎么才能在一起。（我们带老爸、侄女一起玩）实习三个月后，我要去北京学英语，因为我的工作属于涉外贸易类，语言非常重要。当然，另外的小心思，就是能去见他。父母一眼就看穿了我的小把戏，但是“男大当婚、女大当嫁”，我已经是成年人了，妈妈也不反对我和他恋爱。就这样，我们又在一起了。（愿得一人心，白首不分离）05那时候，他读的第二专业也毕业了。按照他父母的安排，他原本可以在北京有很好的工作，可我俩更喜欢深圳。当时，我非常忐忑，他父母会同意吗？会不会怪我呢？会不会逼着我们分手呢？各种担心，让我非常焦虑。老于安慰我说：“你不要担心，我的父母我了解，我来说服他们，你就放心吧，一切交给我就行。”他费尽周折，总算是说服了他的父母，同意他离开北京。2004年，我俩来到深圳。学计算机的老于有4个国际证书，进了招商局旗下一家做涂料的公司，做电子信息自动化。而我则在一家外企做国际货运业务。从此，我们过上了朝九晚五的打工生活。2006年，因为要买房子，我们就去领了结婚证。（去四川四姑娘山度蜜月）我们结婚没有婚礼，也没有仪式，甚至双方父母都没有见过面。用婚礼省下来的钱，我们去四川玩了几天，算是蜜月旅行。我们对于爱情和婚姻的观念，一直以来都极为一致。美好的爱情，是发自内心的彼此喜欢，而不是靠一纸证书来维系。婚前，我再一次非常认真地和老于重申了丁克的想法，也再次得到了他的认同。因为这是人生的一个重大决定，只有达成一致，我们才能更长久地走下去。我们不是不喜欢孩子，只是我一直以来就觉得，我的生活不必非要和别人一样。我喜欢轻松自由，我们都非常享受二人世界，精神生活非常充实。（在新西兰钓鱼）有人说孩子是爱情的结晶，还有人说孩子是维系婚姻的纽带，我觉得这样的说法对孩子很不公平。作家纪伯伦说：“你的孩子其实并不是你的孩子，他们是生命对于自身渴望而诞生的孩子，他们通过你来到这个世界，却并非因你而来。”“他们在你身边，却并不属于你。你可以给足他们的是爱，却不是你的想法，因为他们有他们自己的思想。你可以庇护的是他们的身体，却不是他们的灵魂，因为他们的灵魂属于明天，属于你做梦也无法到达的明天。”我们选择丁克，因为我们也有自己的思想和灵魂。虽然双方父母刚开始也都不理解，但他们无非是担心我们老了、病了，没有儿女的照顾。（2015，我的本命年，老于陪我在西藏冈仁波齐转山）06我们一点一点做工作，心平气和地和老人沟通，告诉他们，我们为未来做好了储蓄和规划。慢慢地，父母看到我们的生活状态非常好，也就都接受了。我们婚后的生活非常规律，老于不抽烟不喝酒，我对物质也没有太多欲望。我们的收入，除了房贷，全部存了下来。工作之余的自由时光，尽量都留给了彼此和家人。我们工作也一直很稳定，期间都有几次升职加薪，收入也翻了几番。也曾经有过更好的发展机会，但我和老于都放弃了，我们不想为工作牺牲生活。（美国西部自驾游）我们的工作地点离得非常近。一直以来，我们都一起上下班，一起吃午饭，这二人时光对我们而言，是远比金钱更重要的。一生守候不是一句简单而苍白的海誓山盟，而是无数个平淡的日子里，同舟共济，相濡以沫。这些年，我们陆陆续续旅行了一些地方。老于喜欢摄影，我们去旅行，他拍照，我只管逛吃。他喜欢海钓，我们就经常出海钓鱼，和家人朋友一起分享劳动果实。（和家人一起海钓）他的爱好我都是支持的，我觉得做自己喜欢的事情，并乐在其中，都是人生难得的体验。前几年，老于又迷上了健身。40岁以后的中年人，也许都会更加关注自己的健康吧。毕竟，健康才是幸福生活的根基，我们也都希望能给对方更长久的陪伴。在他的影响下，我也跟着锻炼身体，家里又添置了大大小小的健身器材。在两人的坚持、互相监督和陪伴下，这几年，我们的体质都有了很大改善。（我在跑步，有健康才有一切）因为没有孩子的牵绊，我们从结婚就开始在规划，如何提前退休，希望在精力、体力最好的时候，去过自己想过的日子。工作期间，我们利用假期陆续去过很多地方，最终我们又达成一致：社保交够15年，我们就辞职，换一种活法。2020年，疫情到来，为我们的惯性工作画上了句号。07那时，我们工作满16年了。算了一下手头的积蓄，觉得终于可以放下工作，开始自己想要的生活了。我俩先后裸辞，自驾游到大理旅居了一年。我们在大理租了一套别墅，月租6500元。当时是想把老人接过来一起住，但他们都不愿离开熟悉的环境，我俩就“奢侈”地体验了一年大别墅。（新西兰自驾游）后来，我们就开始优化旅居计划，预算一年20万元，做到不浪费、不拮据，在能力范围内享受旅途快乐。我们的居住原则是，一定要住在离高速路、机场不太远的地方，以便于父母需要我们时，能以最快的速度赶回去。作为最早一批的“丁克族”，我们从来没有遗憾或者后悔过自己的选择，一直都觉得很幸福。婚姻幸福是因为另一半，不是因为生不生娃。我们俩认识22年，结婚16年，时至今日，他依然是那个帅气、温暖、靠谱的男人。无论是我有情绪、发脾气，还是家里遇到重大的情况，他都是我最坚强的后盾。（老于帮我剪头发）还有大家普遍关心的“老有所依”。与旧社会不同，现代人大多有退休金和医保，思想独立，生活丰富，都把退休当成自己的第二次生命，重新开始更精彩的生活。这种情况下，孩子自然不是养老的工具，更不应该成为父母的附属品。发自内心的孝顺，是在孩子成长过程中父母双方的耳濡目染下自发形成的观念，而不是强加的道德枷锁。我们不羡慕别人有娃，更不会后悔自己的决定。我们至今都没有动摇过，反而很庆幸这个选择。（我们在拉萨）过往不悔，未来不惧，人生就是要做自己的主人，选择最适合的生活方式。裸辞后，我们开启了人生的下半场，去曾经向往的地方，自由享受生活。很多人会认为，没有孩子是不是人生的一个遗憾，其实，“丁克”只是一种选择，一种生活态度。生命原本就不是完美的，遵从内心，无畏质疑，在平淡生活中感受美好，便无遗憾。我们身边有娃的朋友也很快乐。每个人价值取向不同，对幸福快乐的评判标准完全是“私人订制”，不必用自己的价值观去要求别人。（美国阿拉斯加）人生不过是一场有去无回的旅程，沿途的风景，各有各的视角。不要求他人，不勉强自己，用心感受每一天的美好，珍惜当下，此生便是最好的。"}