写作的魔力
邓笛/文
刘佳伟/译
Alexander James McGinty/译文润色
我出生于上世纪六十年代初。这是一个贫穷而混乱的时代。我的外公被列为“地富反坏右”受到批判，我的父亲被当着“反动文人”关进了“牛棚”，我的母亲也被划为“516”分子遭遇不公正对待。一般来说，在这种生存环境中成长的孩子，因百事不如意、志向多挫折，会如秋草逢霜一样变得懦弱，又或会在逆境中变得暴戾起来。而如今的我，总的来说，性格阳光，热情待人，对本职工作也充满热情。事实上，决定一个人的人格的因素往往是复杂的，但是，写作是我人生的一个重要环节。我从上小学起就喜欢写作，我写的作文经常由语文老师在班上朗读给大家听，复习高考期间我所在学校给每一位学生发了一本油印的小册子，里面有各种体裁的文章供应付高考作文时模仿，这本小册子里就有我写的作文。写作给了我自信，让我在黑暗中看到了远方的一丝希望之光。
八十年代初，为了考上大学，我刻苦用功，却志望难达，破灭无常，考了三次才考上一所专科学校的英语专业。第一年英语单科达线总分却差一分，第二年总分达线英语单科又差一分，最后一年我刻苦到极致，考分超过了本一分数线，但又因为阴差阳错未能上到心驰神往的外交学院或旅游学院。我曾写过一篇题为《大学梦残》的文章，刊发在《新华日报》副刊上，这篇文章后来也收入了我的文集《孩子，爸爸在这儿》中。文章虽然对我第三次参加高考时遭遇到的种种社会腐败现象进行了控诉，但基本上是以云淡风轻的心态笑谈人生沉浮花开花落。当然，在当时，我的心情是忧愤的，这种忧愤的心情又由于少年时积累的戾气而变得更加沉重。又一次，是写作给了我释放这种戾气的渠道，使我不至于成为一种随时可能会爆炸的危险物。由于学的是英语专业，我开始尝试写作式的翻译——也就是那种依据于原作而不拘泥于原作的带有某种创作性的翻译——我这样做主要是想结合我所学的专业让我个人的情感借助翻译得到充分释放。我上大二时在一本叫《时代姐妹》的杂志上接连发表了两篇译文，第一篇获得稿酬30元，第二篇获得稿酬90元，当时的稿酬标准是千字30元，这个标准应该说很高了，因为那时我在校的月生活费也就18元左右，我父亲每月工资也才50多元。社会对写作者的尊重让我精神大振，我更加勤奋地写作和翻译，用现在的话说，一个“屌丝逆袭”的神话有望发生。
在以后的30多年里，我在各类报刊发表创作或编译的文章千余篇，被《读者》、《青年文摘》、《人大复印资料》、《意林》、《格言》、《特别关注》、《青年博览》、《报刊文摘》、《中国剪报》等国内名刊名报转载五千多篇（次），被选入各类文集百余种，有些文章被中小学语文辅导材料收录或被设计成中考语文和其他语文考试阅读题。一个中小学教育专家说，中小学生中知道邓笛名字的人一定比知道副总理名字的人要多得多。这当然是友善的玩笑。不过，我真的碰到过不少自称是看着我的文章长大的年轻人甚至是中年人。我一直庆幸自己能掌握写作这种表达情绪的方式，因为生活中有了写作，我的生活别开生面，而不是消沉于挫折或陷于自怜之中不能自拔。
后来，我在高校的教师岗位上有了更多的发展，写作少了些，但并没有中止，仍时常有文章见诸报端。有人问我，八十年代写稿，千字30元，可获得不少的收入，如今中国的GDP增加了100多倍了，稿酬还是千字30元，写作图个啥？确实，八十年代报刊发行量高，稿酬相对也高，一个写手一个月发表几篇千字文，不但就能温饱无虞，而且也是非常了不起的事情。如今辉煌不再，我不可能靠几篇小短文就能获得曾经的回报和曾经的地位，然而对于我而言，我仍然能够从写作中获得一种伟大的庇护，将心中的苍凉、隐忍、苦修，以写作的方式，仰首问天，记录春秋，然后以一种阳光的心态迎接无比美好的生活。
The Magic of Writing
I was born in the early 1960s, an era full of chaos and poverty. My grandfather, my father and my mother were suffering persecution because of the political reasoning in those days. It is generally true that a man in adversity reveals himself more and more as a coward or as a low and ugly individual. Today, in general, I am a nice man with a bright, polite and positive spirit. In fact, the factors that decide one’s personality are always complex. But for me, writing is an important one. I loved writing when I was in primary school. My compositions were often read by my teacher as models in our class. At that time when we were preparing for the College Entrance Examination, our teacher gave each of us a mimeographed volume, in which excellent models of composition were included for the class to imitate and my composition was one of them. Writing gave me confidence, making me see the gleam of hope faraway in the dark.
In the early 1980s, I worked hard on my studies in order to go to college, but my dream was almost ruined. Finally I went to a local college to study English after two failures in the College Entrance Examination. I had the first failure with only one point behind the cut off mark of the English subject, and the second failure with one point behind the cut off mark of the total score. Finally by working very hard I did fantastically well in the exam. I could have been admitted to the Foreign Affairs University or to the Tourism College I had been hoping for if it hadn’t been for something unexpected. I once wrote an article named The Broken Dream in College published later in Xinhua Daily and included in my book Son, Dad Is Here. Although in this article I make a complaint against the social corruption which is the cause of the unwelcome result of my third try at the College Entrance Examination, I basically kept relaxed about the ups and downs of life. Of course I was angry and anxious at that time and this feeling became more serious because of my indignation accumulated in my early life. Again, it was writing that gave me an outlet for my anger so I should not be a potential bomb. As an English major I tried to do something new in translation by adding my ideas about life in the original works. I did this mainly because I wanted to make use of my major to release my feelings. When I was a sophomore, I published two translations in a magazine named Modern Sisters successively and I got 30 yuan and 90 yuan respectively as payment for my translations. The standard of remuneration at that time was 30 yuan for one thousand words. I was very satisfied in view of the fact that my living expense was 18 yuan and my father’s salary was about 50 yuan every month. The respect from society for writers cheered me up and I kept writing and translating more and more diligently. A tale that a frog turns to be a prince could be expected to happen.
In the last 30 years, I have published in the press thousands of articles and translations reprinted about 5000 times in many well-known magazines and newspapers, such as Reader, Youth Digest, Copy of the People's University, Yilin, Motto, Special Focus, Youth of the World, newspapers and Magazines, Chinese Newspaper Clippings, as well as in some books, teaching materials and test papers. An expert of primary and middle school education once said: More students know the name of Deng Di than the name of a Vice Premier. Of course it was his banter. However, I have met some young and even middle-aged people who claimed they grew up reading my works. I am fortunate to have writing as an outlet to release my feelings. Because of writing, my life is wonderful, not defeated by setbacks or miserablein self-pity.
Later I promoted myself in college teaching with less works published than before, but I never gave up writing completely. Someone mentions to me that 30 yuan for one thousand words was a lot of money in the 1980s while nowadays Chinese GDP has increased by more than 100 times and the remuneration standard for writing is much the same as in the 1980s. He asks me what I am writing for. Sure, writing was a great thing in the 1980s and a writer could earn a living writing a thousand word essay a month. The days of writing a thousand words to make a living are over. I am into writing not to reap immense financial rewards or imperishable fame but to find a safety shelter where I can record my pain, forbearance and penance, and question the starry sky, and then meet the colorful life with a sunny enthusiasm.
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