那边那个女人是你的情敌？她不是。你的情敌既不是杂志封面上的女人，也不是电视节目里的女人。难道是你男朋友的前任？还是你担心从你男朋友办公室出来比你漂亮的那个女人？也不是她。
Nope. None of them. It's time to stop viewing other women as an obstacle to your happiness.
不是，都不是。是时候停下来，别再让其他女人成为你通往幸福的阻碍了。
I am my own worse enemy. And you are yours, too. We have let that toxic voice that's been programmed into our heads tell us that we have to be perfect. That voice has told us the only way to judge our own perfection is by comparing it to the "perfection" of other woman. But perfect doesn't exist and she's not your competition.
更糟糕的敌人，是自己。你们也一样。我们允许了那个已经编程进入头脑里的恶魔声音告诉我们，我们必须是完美的。那个声音曾告诉我们，判断自己是否完美的唯一标准就是和其他女人的完美作比较。但是，完美是不存在的，而且她也不是你的敌人。
Even though you and I logically know the absurdity of striving for perfection, we are programmed from a young age to take notice of the most "perfect" looking woman we can find. And then the internal competition begins: How do I measure up to her? Her features, her body, her skin color, her hair, her clothes? Can I compete? How can I have a flatter tummy, a fatter (but not too fat) booty, longer hair, more radiant skin, thinner thighs?
照理说，尽管你和我都知道追求完美是荒谬的，但我们从年轻时就会特意的留意我们发现的拥有最完美外表的女人。然后，内心中的竞争开始了：我怎样才能达到她的标准？她的容貌，身材，肤色，头发，服饰？我能与之竞争吗？我怎样才能有一个平坦的小腹，一个丰满的臀部（不是太胖），一头长发，更加容光焕发的皮肤，纤细的大腿？
The toxic voice in our head tells us if we don't succeed in achieving perfection, we've lost. And so we buy more products and criticize ourselves some more and we find someone else -- another woman -- to make us feel better about our dimply thighs or stubby eyelashes or crooked teeth or whatever imperfection we feel we have. (We can always find something, can't we?) When we look down on another woman, that voice is saying: If I can't win the race, at least I won't finish in last place!
脑中那个恶魔声音对我们说，如果我们不能成功变得完美，就输了。所以我们买更多的东西，苛求自己，我们找某个人—另外一个女人—会让我们对自己的O型腿，短秃的睫毛，歪牙或者其他不完美的地方感觉好些（我们总能发现别人不如我们的地方，不是吗？）。当我们藐视其他女人时，那个恶魔声音就会说：如果我不能赢这场比赛，至少不要倒数第一！
Whether we are coming up short in our imaginary competition or we are pulling ahead, we still lose. We are losing due to our own self-judgment.
不管我们在这场想象的竞争中处于劣势还是处于领先，我们仍是失败。因为我们对自己判断失误。
If you're romantically interested in men, viewing other women as your competition not only feels really crappy, it will only hurt you in your relationships with men or in your journey to find love.
如果你对一个男人感兴趣，那么，把其他女人当成情敌不仅会觉得毫无价值，更会在这份感情中或这段寻爱旅途中受到伤害。
Men don't expect you to be perfect. Men know they aren't perfect and unlike most women, they don't usually aim to be. In real life relationships, men aren't attracted to perfection. They might think that model looks hot, but he doesn't expect you to be a model. Most men wouldn't even prefer you to be. Don't let the advertising industry tell you different! There isn't a woman on the planet some man isn't attracted to, and not one of us is perfect.
男人并不期待女人是完美的。他们知道自己不完美，不会像大多数女人那般非要追求完美。完美，通常不是他们的目标。在真实生活中的情侣关系里，男人不喜爱完美。他们可能认为模特很热辣撩人，但他不希望自己的女人成为模特。大多数男人甚至不喜欢自己的女人去做模特。别听广告业那一套！在这个地球上，总有一个女人吸引着一个男人，而我们都不是完美的。
The media, particularly the advertising industry, will try to convince you that men fall in love once they find the most beautiful woman they've ever seen. You might believe this without consciously recognizing it. It's an insidious and pervasive message we have heard our entire lives: Want love? Be perfect.
媒体，特别是广告业，会尽力的说服你让你相信，一旦男人发现了他所见过的女人中最漂亮的一个，他们就会坠入爱河。而你，可能不经思考就确信这一说法。这是我们整个生命中听到的既阴险又无处不在的说辞。
When a man says "She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen" what he's really saying is "this woman is so amazing that she has now become my personal standard of beauty."
而当一个男人说：“她是我见过的最漂亮的女人”时，他真正的意思是“这个女人如此迷人，那么她的美就是我对美的评判标准。”
How many of us have poo-pooed a compliment from a man because we couldn't allow ourselves to believe it? He has to be lying to think I look good in this outfit, because obviously I look fat, right? He can't really think I have beautiful eyes, because they're boring and brown, not green or blue or because my eyelashes are too short, says that voice.
有多少女人厌烦男人的恭维？因为她们不让自己相信这些。有个声音会对自己说：因为显然我看起来很胖，男人不得不假装认为我看起来还不错，对吗？因为我的眼睛是棕色的，不是绿色的也不是蓝色的，而且令人厌烦，又或者因为睫毛太短，他绝不会认为我有一双迷人的眼睛。
If you turn down enough compliments, sure enough you will eventually become less attractive in the eyes of the person giving them. Men and women alike are attracted to confidence. If you lived on a desert island alone with a man and he told you he loved your smile, you'd probably believe him. But since you're comparing your smile to the smile of every woman you see in a magazine, you become convinced yours is nothing to write home about. If you're feeling inferior to other women OR if you're convincing yourself of your superiority to other women, guess what? You're missing the confidence that would truly make you your most attractive!
如果你拒绝太多的恭维，你就确信最终你在那些恭维你的人眼里越来越没有魅力。其实，男人和女人很像，因为自信才迷人。如果你只和一个男人在沙漠中生活，他告诉你他爱上了你的笑容，你可能会相信他。但当你和看过的杂志上的每个女人的笑容作比较时，你就确信你的笑容和人家根本毫无可比性。如果你觉得不如别人或者比别人迷人，猜猜看会怎样？你就会失去那真正让你魅力无穷的东西，就是自信。
I'm not chastising you for not having "perfect," unflappable confidence. Everyone, male and female has their moments of insecurity. We are human and we crave love, acceptance and acknowledgment. All of us -- that's part of what makes us human.
我不是因为你不完美而责怪你，而是因为你没有从容不迫的自信。不管是男人还是女人，每个人都有自己不安的时刻。我们都是人，我们渴望爱，渴望接受，渴望认知。我们的全部—是我们之所以为人的一部分。
We as women have been so brainwashed to think that love will come to us if we are lucky enough to be picked by a guy, and that in order to be picked we have to be the prettiest girl in the room. Are you ready to accept that's all a big lie?
女人们被洗脑般地认为，如果我们足够幸运地被一个男人选中，爱情就来临了；或者为了被男人选中，我们必须成为这世界上最漂亮的。女人们，你们准备好接受这个大谎话了吗？
Chances are, even that model on the cover of the magazine is judging herself. She's trying to live up to her own hype. She doesn't just have to "make this dress look good so other people so women will buy it." She has to "look so perfect other women will feel insecure enough that they will buy this dress and lots of other things to chase the unattainable perfection you represent when you are made up, styled and airbrushed." There is an army of people behind that photograph ensuring that is just the response it elicits in women like you and me.
很有可能就连杂志封面上的模特也如此认为。她尽力做到符合广告要求。她不仅要“让这件连衣裙穿在身上非常漂亮，让其他女人都想要买”，还得“看起来完美得无懈可击，让其他女人感到非常不安，很想买这件连衣裙以及其他许多东西。让她们追逐你因化妆、包装及粉饰后所表现出来的无法企及的完美。”为此杂志封面努力的一群人确信这就是他们在像你我这样的女人中间所引起的反应。
If you are that model, or you were genetically gifted a physical appearance that happens to align with the current tastes of the dominant culture in which you were born, you are not exempt from that voice in your head. In fact, some of the most famously beautiful women in our culture have also been the most wracked with self-loathing.
There is a force that is greater than judgment, greater than competition and greater than feeling "less than." That force is faith.
如果你是模特，或者你天生就有一副令人艳羡的外表，而你又恰巧符合当下主流文化的品位，你会很认同上面的说法。事实上，在我们的文化里，大部分有名且美丽的女人中，有些人已经因着自我厌恶而受到严重伤害。但有一股力量，它的威力高于判断、高于竞争甚至高于“不如别人”的感受。这股力量就是信念。
Faith that you are perfect, just as you are, just because you are. Faith that your joy will multiply as soon as you make a concerted effort to stop judging yourself. Faith that the toxic voice in your head is dead wrong and in time, she'll stop shouting so loudly if you start telling her to take a hike. Faith that the man who's right for you won't be comparing your thighs or eyelashes or waistline to anyone else's, and faith that you might miss out on him if you're a master of the comparison game.
相信你是完美的，正如你的本我，你就是完美的。相信只要你尽力不再指责自己，你的快乐就会加倍。相信你脑海中的那个恶魔声音是无用的，如果你让它走开，它就会及时的停止呐喊。相信你的爱人拿你的大腿粗细，睫毛的长短以及腰围的粗细与其他人比较，也要相信如果你玩转这场比较的游戏，你可能就会失去你爱的人。
There's so much that is amazing about you. It's time for us, as women to uncover, cultivate and celebrate our amazingness and leave that toxic voice in the past, where it belongs.
你还有很多让人惊艳的地方。作为女人，我们是时候揭开自己的面纱，培养自己并赞美自己的惊艳之处。把恶魔的声音遗忘在过去，那个只属于它的地方。
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