美国博客哈默尔（Toni Hammer）的5岁女儿这个秋天开始上幼儿园。当母亲的她特地在脸书上写一封公开信，告诫女儿如何待人处事和做自己。这十几条禁令随即引起网民共鸣，并在网上热传，或许是网民“心有戚戚焉”吧。
对于女儿即将面对外在的世界，哈默尔担心她不知如何应对进退，或遭别人欺负，因而在脸书上发文，列出十几条不应该做的事项。她说，她希望写点东西给女儿，还有所有可能经历这些情况的年轻女性。
哈默尔在脸书上写道：
“我的女儿，
当某人撞到你时，不要道歉。
不要说：“抱歉成为这么一个讨厌鬼”。你不是讨厌鬼。你是个有思想、有感情的人，値得被尊重。
对于为何你无法与一个你不想和他出去的人外出，不要编造任何理由。你没有欠任何人一个说法。简单的一句话“我不要，谢谢”，应该是可以接受的（回应）。
对于你在众人面前吃什么，不要想太多。如果你饿了，你就吃，吃你想吃的。如果你想吃披萨，不要因为有其他人在身边而吃沙拉，就点披萨。
不要为了让某人高兴而留长头发。
不要穿你不喜欢的衣服。
不要因为没有人跟你出去就待在家里。带你自己出去。独自并为你自己体验（人生）。
不要抑制眼泪。哭泣表示你感觉有某种东西需要宣泄。这不是弱点，这是人性。
不要因为有人叫你笑，你就笑。
不要害怕对自己的笑话发笑。
不要礼貌性地说“好”。试着说“不好”，因为这是你的生活。
不要隐藏你的意见。说出来，而且要大声说。别人会听到你的。
不要因为你是谁而道歉。呈现勇敢、大胆和美丽。做一个无须道歉的你。”
这个帖子在脸书上引起热烈反应，迄今已有7,000多人转帖，6,000多人按赞。
有网民认为，这几条母亲给女儿的训诫非常真实和实用；也有人说：“我需要温习这张清单上的很多事项，但我真的想将它列印，并张贴在我女儿的房间里。
”
附原文：
To my daughter,
Don't apologize when someone else bumps into you.
Don't say "sorry to be such a pain." You're not a pain. You're a person with thoughts and feelings who deserves respect.
Don't make up reasons as to why you can't go out with a guy you don't wanna go out with. You don't owe anyone an explanation. A simple "no thanks" should be acceptable.
Don't overthink what you eat in front of people. If you're hungry, eat, and eat what you want. If you want pizza, don't get a salad just because other people are around. Order the damn pizza.
Don't keep your hair long to make someone else happy.
Don't wear a dress if you don't want to.
Don't stay home because you don't have anyone to go out with. Take yourself out. Have experiences by yourself and for yourself.
Don't hold back your tears. Crying means you're feeling something that needs to get out. It's not a weakness. It's being human.
Don't smile because someone told you to.
Don't be afraid to laugh at your own jokes.
Don't say "yes" to be polite. Say "no" because it's your life.
Don't hide your opinions. Speak up and speak loudly. You should be heard.
Don't apologize for being who you are. Be brave and bold and beautiful. Be unapologetically you.
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