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在国外被疯赞的一篇神文——你该增加你的人生技能了


“What can I learn right now in just 10 minutes that could be useful for the rest of my life?”


“有什么是我10分钟就能学会,并且受益终身的?”这篇问答在Quora获得一万多赞,许多人读过之后表示十分受用,麦子看完也受益良多,分享给各位:



1、(首因效应和近因效应:人们往往对第一件或最后一件发生的事情记忆犹新,中间的几乎记不住。所以,约定面试的时候,询问面试者什么时候开始,争取做第一个或者最后一个。)


Primacy and recency: People most remember the first and last things to occur, and barely the middle. When scheduling an interview, ask what times the employer is interviewing and try to be first or last.


2、如果你在酒吧工作,或从事任何形式的客户服务工作,在你背后放一面镜子。这样的话,当顾客怒气冲冲地接近你时,他们就能从你身后的镜子中看见自己的样子,从而大大降低他们无理取闹的可能性。


If you work in a bar or in customer service of any kind ... Put a mirror behind you at the counter. This way angry customers who approach you will have to see themselves in the mirror behind you and the chances of them behaving irrationally lowers significantly.


3、报价之后,别再说话。 这个方法对于销售业很有用,但也适用于其它行业。我以前的老板在训练我的时候给了我这些建议。当时我在健身房推销会员卡。他告诉我,一旦你和顾客寒暄完并且报出了价格,接下来第一个说话的人就输了。这似乎并不是什么了不起的事儿,但很管用。通常会有很长时间的尴尬冷场,顾客会试图找借口拒绝你的推销,但他们最终通常还是会买下来。


Once you make the sales pitch, don't say anything else. This works in sales, but it can also be applied in other ways. My boss at an old job was training me and just giving me pointers. I was working at a gym trying to sell memberships. He told me that once I got all the small talk out of the way and presented the prices, that the first person to talk will lose. It didn't seem like a big deal but it actually worked. Often there were long periods of awkward silence as the person tried to come up with some excuse, but usually they bought.


4、如果你问别人一个问题,他只回答了一半,那么静待即可。如果你安静地等,并且保持眼神接触,他们通常会继续说下去。


If you ask someone a question and they only partially answer, just wait. If you stay silent and keep eye contact they will usually continue talking


5、当面临一些让你感到很紧张的时刻,如公开演讲或蹦极,嚼嚼口香糖就好了。因为如果我们在咀嚼(吃东西)时,大脑就会暗示,“我在危险的时候是不会吃东西的,所以我现在很安全”。这个办法已经几次帮助我保持冷静。


Chew gum when you're approaching a situation that would make you nervous like public speaking or bungee jumping. If we are eating , something in our brain reasons 'I would not be eating if I were danger. So I'm not in danger'. It has helped me to stay calm a few times.


6、人们记住的不是你所说的话,而是你给他们带来的感觉。大部分人喜欢谈论自己的事情,所以(交流时)可以多问些和他们有关的问题。


People will always remember not what you said but how you made them feel. Also most people like talking about themselves so ask lots of questions about them.


7、当你学习新东西时,试着教给你的朋友,让他们就此提问。如果你能教会别人,证明你已经很好地理解了这些新东西。


When you're learning something new, teach it to a friend. Let them ask questions to you related to it. If you're able to teach something well, you can be sure that you've understood it very well.


8、如果你见到别人的时候表现得非常高兴和兴奋,那么他们看见你的时候也会这样。第一次也许不会,但第二次一定会。


If you get yourself to be really happy and excited to see other people, they will react the same to you. It doesn't always happen the first time, but it will definitely happen next time.


9、对于压力的生理反应——呼吸加速和心跳加快——其实这和鼓起勇气时的反应几乎是一样的。所以在任何情况下,当你感到焦虑不安时,马上告诉自己:你的身体已经做好了鼓足勇气的准备,这样就不会感到紧张。


The physical effects of stress - breathing rate and heart rate - are almost identical to the physical effects of courage. When your feeling stressed from any situation immediately reframe it : Your body is getting ready to be courageous, it will NOT feeling stressed.


10、注意别人的脚。 当你加入别人的谈话时,如果他们只把身体转向你,脚却没有,这说明他们不想让你加入。类似的,如果你在和同事讲话,你认为他们正在全神贯注听你讲,但如果他们的身体面向你但是脚却对着其它方向,这说明他们很想结束这场谈话。(这条规则八妹记得在美剧《lie to me》里面有类似的说法)


Pay attention to people's feet. If you approach two people in the middle of a conversation, and they only turn their torsos and not their feet, they don't want you to join in the conversation. Similarly if you are in a conversation with a coworker who you think is paying attention to you and their torso is turned towards you but their feet are facing in another direction, they want the conversation to end.


11、在你做到之前,先假装你能做到:自信比知识更重要。 别被任何人吓住,正所谓,人生不易,全靠演技,其实他们也都在带着面具在演戏。


Fake it till you make it ; confidence is more important than knowledge. Don't be intimidated by anyone, everyone is playing a role and wearing a mask.


12、假装久了就会成真。(正所谓装逼得逼,求仁成仁,念念不忘,必有回响)


If you pretend to be something for long enough, you will eventually become it.


13、说来可能有些怪异,不过如果你很想“厚颜无耻”地盯着某人,那就把你的目光聚焦在他们身后的某处,然后等待他们和你对视。 当他们发现你并不是在看他们的时候,就会东张西望(通常会紧张一会儿),接下来一段时间就不会再看你了。这就是你肆无忌惮地看这个人的好机会,至少可以看45秒。


Not to be creepy, but if you want to stare at someone unashamedly, look directly past them and wait for them to try and meet your eyes. When they fail to do that, they'll look around (usually nervously for a second) they won't look at you again for some time. This is your chance to straight up stare at this person for at least 45 seconds.


直接推论:如果你盯着某人被抓个现行,不要转头或转身看其它地方,因为那样恰恰说明你在盯着他们瞅。你只需要将视线从这个人身上移开。和转头不一样,这只是一瞬间的事情。然后这个人就会认为你只是在看他身后的某样东西,是自己误认为你在盯着他看。转移视线的时候要自信一点,不要管对方是什么反应,就一定管用。一秒钟后,你甚至可以用一种“你为什么盯着我看?”的表情看回去,就能万事大吉!


Corollary :If you're staring at someone and get caught, DON'T turn your head or your body to look away, because that just confirms that you were staring. Just move your EYEBALLS off the person. Unlike turning your head, it's instantaneous. And the person will think you were just looking at something behind them and that they were mistaken for thinking you were staring. Do it confidently, and ignore any reaction from the person, and you can sell it every single time. After a second you can even look back at them with a 'Why are you staring at me?' look on your face to really cement the deal!


14、建立人脉网。 成为他们的消息来源,并让他们的消息为你所用。即使只是每年和老同事们畅饮一回,也能让你继续在曾经的工作圈有一席之位。以前的同事可能换到了一个你梦寐以求的新岗位,那太好了!和他们喝一杯,问一问办公室的情况。建立人脉网全在于保持联系和交换信息。


Build a network. Become their information source, and let them be yours. Even grabbing a beer with a former colleague once a year will keep you in the loop at the old office. Former coworkers might have gotten a new position in that office you always wanted to work in, great! Go to them for a beer, and ask about the office. It's all about connections and information.


15、如果你因为前面的人开车慢的像个老奶奶一样而生气,那就把她当成你的奶奶,这样你就不会那么生气了。


If you are angry at the person in front of you driving like a grandmother ... Pretend it is your grandmother, it will significantly reduce your road rage。


16、站直了。不要懒懒散散的,手不要插在口袋里,头抬高。这并不是老生常谈——因为这样你的感觉真的会更好,周围的人也会觉得你更有自信。


Stand up straight!No slouching, hands out of pockets, and head held up high. It's not just a cliche -- you literally feel better and people around you feel more confident in you.


17、除非真的有必要,不要说“我认为”“我相信”之类的话。这样的话不会让你产生自信,对你没什么好处。


Avoid saying 'I think,' and 'I believe' unless absolutely necessary. These are phrases that do not evoke confidence, and will literally do you no good.


18、当你感觉焦虑的时候,整理一下房间或工作区。你会感到更高兴,也更有成就感。


When feeling anxious, clean up your home or work space. You will feel happier and more accomplished than before.


19、经常买第一壶或者第一桶饮料。因为“我是第一个买的。” 这句话能挂在你嘴上很久。(这句话还有另外一个翻译是:“第一次饭,第一支酒,你请。你都不知道你自己会因此而自我感觉良好多久” 不过八妹觉得应该还有更好的翻译,欢迎大家积极提出想法。)


Always buy the first pitcher or round of drinks. You'd be surprised how long you can drink on the phrase 'I bought the first one.'


20、参加面试时,多关注一下面试者。如果你专注于了解对方,他们会觉得你更有趣、更有活力。(再次强调,毕竟人们总是喜欢谈论自己。)


Going into an interview...be interested in your interviewers. If you focus on learning about them you seem more interesting and dynamic. (Again, people love to talk about themselves.)


21、家长们注意了:经常给孩子们选择的机会,让他们觉得自己能掌控自己的生活。例如如果我想让孩子穿上鞋,我会问他:“你是想穿星球大战那双鞋还是鲨鱼那双?” 友情提示:这招有时候对大人也很管用。


Pay Attention Parents: Always give your kid a choice that makes them think they are in control. For instance when I want him to put his shoes on I will say ,'do you want to put your star wars shoes on or your shark shoes on?' Pro-tip: In some cases, this works on adults.


22、行动对态度的影响比态度对行动的影响更大。就像我以前的老师说过:“你可以因为快乐而手舞足蹈,但你其实也可以因为手舞足蹈一下而让自己变得开心起来。”


Your action affect your attitudes more than your attitudes affect your actions. As my former teacher said 'You can jump and dance FOR joy, but you can also jump and dance yourself joyful.'


23、当一群人在笑的时候,人们会本能地去看这群人中感觉最亲近的那个。


When a group of people laugh, people will instinctively look at the person they feel closest to in that group.


24、如果你想要建立更融洽的关系,或者让别人更快信任你,模仿他们的身体姿势。 如果他们双腿交叉而坐,那你也双腿交叉;如果他们身体向后倾,你也向后倾;如果他们身体靠向你,你就靠向他们。模仿身体姿势是一种潜意识的行为,你可以以此判断某人是否信任你,或者和你在一起自不自在。如果你抱臂而坐,然后发现其他人也抱臂而坐,这是说明你和他的关系很亲近,或者正在变得亲近。


If you want to build rapport or gain someone's trust quickly, match their body posture and position. If someone is sitting with her legs crossed cross your legs. If they're leaning away from you lean away from them. If they're leaning towards you, lean towards them. Mirroring and matching body position is a subconscious way to tell if someone trusts you or is comfortable with you. If you're sitting with your arms crossed and you notice someone else is sitting with her arms crossed, that is a good indicator that you have/are successfully built/building rapport with that person.


25、本杰明·富兰克林效应:借铅笔的办法看似牵强附会,但我发现这个方法的依据——本杰明·富兰克林效应——非常有用,而且能拓展到借铅笔之外的其它事情上,在与异性搭讪的时候也同样奏效。问下你班里的一个女生能不能借你一支铅笔或者笔记,或是给你讲解一下功课,会比你借她东西或帮她更能让她产生好感。即使是让她给你买一瓶饮料(有些滑稽哈),也会比你给她买一瓶饮料留下的印象更深。最妙之处在于这可是一石三鸟:你得到了你想要的帮助;这人在潜意识里更喜欢你;这让他们在你将来的求助或交谈中更为开放。


The Benjamin Franklin Effect:The pencil one may seem far-fetched but I find the basis of it (the Benjamin Franklin effect) is very useful and extends far beyond pencil borrowing. This knowledge is useful in the world of flirting too. Asking a girl in your class if you can borrow a pencil or her notes or to explain the homework will make her more likely to like you than if you let her borrow your stuff or are the one to help her. Even just asking a girl to buy you drinks (facetiously) leaves a much bigger impression than offering to or actually buying a girl a drink. The best part is it kills 3 birds with one stone: you get the advantages of the favor itself, the person subconsciously likes you more, and it makes them more open to future favors and conversation.


26、如何控制恐惧和焦虑:当你感觉压力巨大、焦虑不安或是生气的时候,用几个词来描述你的烦心事,每想或说出一个词,就轻轻敲一下一根手指,不断重复这几个词,同时敲打包括大拇指在内的十个手指。例如,边敲边说“我很生她的气……”。这能让你摆脱不好的情绪,变得更能随机应变,你的感觉也会更好。这被称为“情绪自由疗法(EFT)”或者“敲击法”,在许多生活状况下都有效,如心情抑郁、生理疼痛、饮食冲动、创伤记忆……


Handling Panic and Anxiety Behavior:When you're feeling stressed, worried or angry, tap each finger tip while thinking (or speaking quietly) a few specific words about what is bothering you. Repeat the same words while tapping each of your 10 fingers, including thumbs. For example, tap while saying, 'I'm so angry with her...' Doing so will likely take the charge out of the feeling and return you to a more resourceful (better feeling) state of being. It's called EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) or 'tapping,' and it is useful in many, many life situations - emotional upset, physical pain, food cravings, traumatic memories...


本文来源:金融八卦女(ID:jinrongbaguanv)




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