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kind of mental illnes now
i don't know what's the real problem with me, since i left my lovely son who is just 11 months young for my new work, yes, i know exactly what a horrible mom i am, but it's kind of for making living.  first i found a job nearby the apartment we rent, i went back everyday after shift and accompany the child, however, this was not continue long. i don't like that job, and the overtime working, so i got another job shortly as will. the funny thing is i still not happy with that, i don't know what i really want now. i am living the life with unconfidence, depression, pressure, can't fell sleep, can't eat well, so many things in the furture are filled with my head, sadly, i even can't stop thinking it, i'm not the master of myself now, there's another me inside which i hate so badly.i need help, i need  a talk. could anyone can understand me and tell me how i can get rid of those things. sometimes, i want to go far far away from home , family, but it's not working, i should go back the normal life eventually.
the above i describled is my metal illness, could u pls help me analyze the root cause of this illness which i would very appeciate.
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