Every one of us has the potential to successfully move through the unique problems that face us. Yet, creating success often involves first identifying the many ways in which we continue to think negatively and the many ways we limit ourselves. The next step becomes replacing ineffective strategies with newer, more empowered self-leadership strategies. Below are five tips to help you weed out negative habits and replace them with positive, supportive behaviors. 我们每个人都有能力成功地度过各自遇到的各不相同的问题。然而,要成功往往需要首先找到那许多我们一直消极思维和限制自我的方式,然后再用新的更有力的自我领导策略来代替这些无效策略。以下是五个帮你铲除消极思维习惯,建立积极行为的方法。
1. Create Harmony 达成共识
2. Acknowledge Your Worth 认识自我价值
Motivating yourself by with criticism, negative self-talk, or name-calling decreases your overall level of motivation. Instead of being relentlessly nasty with yourself, create a warm and accepting atmosphere to promote persistent effort and a favorable attitude toward change. Positive self-talk - talking to your self in a confident, reassuring, positive, and friendly way - is the best way to gain energy and motivation. 用批评、消极的自我对话、或辱骂的方式“激励”自己会让你缺乏动力。不要总是跟自己过不去。创造出一个温暖亲和的气氛来促使你能不断努力,乐于接受改变。积极的自我对话--以自信、肯定、积极和友好的方式对话--是获得精力和动力的最好方式。
If you have gotten into the rut of negative self-talk, now is the time to develop a new habit of being fair and compassionate to yourself. You are far more likely to succeed in your goals when you acknowledge your strengths, assets, and ability to persevere. Being your own worst enemy will not automatically vanish one day. Believing in yourself and learning to be your own advocate takes time, persistence, and dedication. Spend at least five minutes each day listing (in writing and in verbal speech) truths about yourself and your abilities. Get out your pad of paper, look yourself in the eye in the mirror, and write or speak motivational statements such as these: 如果你已陷入消极的自我对话中,现在是培养对自己公平和同情的时候了。当你认识到自己的长处、优点和持之以恒的能力时,实现目标的可能性就要大的多。自己是自己最大的敌人,这个问题不会自动解决。相信自己,学会拥护自己,这需要时间、毅力和努力。每天至少花五分钟列出自己和有关自己能力的事实情况(写或口头都行)。拿出你的记事本,看着镜子中的自己,写出或念出类似下面的这些激励的话:
• I don't know exactly what to do, but I can choose to do something.
我不知道该如何是好,但是我还是能选择去做某件事。
• If I really put my mind to something, I can do it.
如果我真的用心去做,就能做好。
• I have done it before, and I can do it now.
我过去都行,现在也能行。
• When something goes wrong, I can handle it.
出错时,我能应付得来。
• I can deal with this.
我能对付它。
• Other people have learned how to accomplish this, and I can, too!
3. Minimize Anxiety 降低焦虑
4. See Your Best Case Scenario 看到最好的情况
The worst will not always occur. Recognize catastrophe thinking. Here is a wonderful piece of advice I saw on a greeting card from the good people at Hallmark: "If I had to give up one sense, it would be my sense of impending doom." Stop scaring yourself into believing that every negative thing that happens is a horrific disaster. Yes, negative situations can occur, but focus on problem solving and moving forward despite the presence of fear. 最糟糕的情况并不总是会出现,你要意识到自己的”灾难化”思维。以下是我在贺卡上看到的一条极好的建议:“如果非要我去放弃一种感觉的话,我就放弃灾难迫近的感觉。”别再吓唬自己了,不要以为每件消极的事情都会演变为一起恐怖的灾难。总有可能出现消极的情况这没错,但是应把注意力放在解决问题、继续前进而不是恐惧上。
5. Make a Choice 做出一个选择
When you use the words "should" and "try" you make yourself a victim to your own change. Instead, drop the words "should" and "try" and use empowering statements such as: 当你用”应该“和”努力“这样的词时,你就把自己放在了自我改变中的”受害人“的位置上。放弃”应该“和”努力“这样的词,而用和下面这些相类似的词汇:
• choose to . . . 选择
• now have . . . 现在有
• I am able to . . . 我能
• It is my wish and choice to . . . 我希望并选择去
• I am willing to . . . 我愿意
Learn to see that your setbacks, failures, and relapses are temporary. Failure is not all bad. Actually, it is probably the only way to become successful. The obstacles, setbacks, and stumbling blocks are an anticipated aspect of any journey. Failure is really just feedback telling you to adjust your plan or to try a new approach. One of the most important things about failure is deciding to look at what happened, modify your plan or goal, and then move on to your next action step. 要知道你经受的挫折、失败和情况恶化都是暂时的。失败不一定都是坏事。其实,失败也许是成功的唯一途径。障碍、挫折和绊脚石在任何旅途上都会出现。失败其实是一种反馈,告诉你该调整计划或尝试新方法。 关于失败,最重要的一点是要看看发生了什么,然后修改计划或目标,再采取下一步行动。
When you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts or acting in ways that decrease your motivation, take a deep breath, relax, and begin again. There is no need to be perfect or think positively all the time. The point is to notice when you engage in self-limiting behavior and then challenge yourself. You could ask, "Are the things I am thinking or saying to myself true?" "Are my actions bringing me more energy and determination?" Then use the tips above to replace your limiting thoughts and behaviors with statements and actions designed to make you feel better about yourself and life. 当你发现自己有消极想法或会减少动力的行为的时候,做一个深呼吸,放松一下,然后重新再来。你不必每分每秒都做到完美或积极地思考。当你发现自己没有尽全力的时候,就该向自己发出挑战。你可以问自己:”我现在想着的或告诉自己的话是真的吗?“ ”我的行为给我更多的精力和决心吗?“ 然后再用前文提供的方法,破除掉那些让你受限的想法和行为,代之以让你感觉更好的言语和行为。
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