the folly of age as a number:how we can all be young

 

Whenever I find myself being interviewed, I usually get asked this question (in one form or another) at least once: how has being young affected your ability in business?

I find myself responding with pretty much the same answer every time: age is not about the number, but rather about the way you think.

For me, being 21 (and having started my company at the age of 19) gives people the quick "novelty" giggle factor. After they get over that, it's all back to business. In Silicon Valley, this is even less of a novelty. At the age of 21 (and I'm sorry to everyone that this offends), I am pretty much "old." There are entrepreneurs now gaining significant traction, raising money, and building amazing companies – all before they even turn 18.

So beyond the giggle factor, what else is there behind age (or the lack thereof)? For me, it's a combination of five things: the license to learn, the never-ending source (or what seems to be) of passion and energy, a sense of wonder, not knowing the rules (or the "way" to do things), and finally, seeing the best in everyone.

License to learn

When you're young, you're perhaps in the most "benign" state. You're perceived to lack an alternative agenda, you're curious, and you're just a big sponge. I believe we should be lifelong learners. But when we're young, we seem to be at the prime capacity to do so. Because we're told we lack experience and knowledge, we begin our trek through school, internships, and extra-curricular activities to learn as much as we can.

What I'm specifically addressing here is the license to learn from other people. Many people forget that the simple statement "I'd love to learn from you" opens more doors than anything you can imagine. It's the ultimate statement of humility, respect, understanding, and curiosity. Through (numerical) aging, many of us forget to ask to learn. Maybe it's because we think we know enough, or that we may be rejected, or that it sounds needy.

You have to remember one thing about the other side. If this person is indeed "successful" in their own right, chances are this person is an amazing teacher. It's what got them to where they are. Teachers are patient, excellent at explaining things, and ultimately willing to share. If this person is unwilling to share and selfish even though you have genuine intentions, chances are that your business relationship may be based on a foundation that you may be less fond of as you both progress in your career.

Now of course, there are limits. And there's a reason why consultants exist and make so much money. But remember that those who are learning right now and growing around you have to have teachers willing to teach. And those teachers exist. You just need to find the right ones.

The Never-ending Source of Passion and Energy

Both these things (passion and energy) are contagious. Passion is exhibited through perseverance among other things, and energy can be exhibited through a wide-smile. Simple things. I've met CEOs well into their 50s who exhibit this. They are often described by their employees as “eccentric,” "young at heart," even possessing an "infectious personality." These are people you just love being around. These people seem to be bouncing off the walls in any setting, caffeine-injected or not. They're able to make the most stubborn or stale people light up. They ultimately lead.

This is because the infectious nature of passion and energy brings people around this individual. They want to know why this person is so passionate. They feel like they can be a part of something great.

As youth this is natural before the energy is beat out of us. Remember the 10,000 times you were overly enthusiastic but quickly discovered the reality? These people are amazing at seeing the overly optimistic side of things and may not even accept reality. They reject it.

Of course, this one-sided approach can sometimes be dangerous. That's why you'll find that most of the successful types that hold these characteristics have a very good yin-yang dynamic within their teams. Search hard and you'll find the realist, the pragmatist. They're there for good reason, and were most likely picked by this person.

A Sense of Wonder

When was the last time you walked out of a subway station somewhere in the world and had an almost "woosh"-ing sensation come over your head of both wonder and awe? I remember I had this feeling the first time I visited New York. The first time I visit any city, really. I strive for this feeling in every setting in life. The more times you feel wondrous, the more times you appreciate the world and what it can provide you.

Youth seek adventure and wonder. Every new experience (which may be old and tired to the elder) is poignant, memorable, and lucid. This is what helps us remember and learn as quickly as a child. New memories are imprinted with nothing to frame it with. We are a blank canvas.

You can stay wondrous by perceiving things in a different way. Look for the details. Look up once in a while. See the stars. Ask "why?" Talk to people you would normally just pass by (start with your taxi driver). Every time you add a new layer of perception into the same reality, things begin to unravel themselves.

Not Knowing the Rules

I like to share the story of the inexperienced poker player ruining a game full of serious poker players. Yes, in many (realistic) situations this inexperienced poker player may fail. Even be ridiculed. But in the off chance that this person is able to stay long enough, the experienced poker players may begin to feel extremely confused and frustrated. There are a series of predictable moves that come with the hand that you're dealt. Any time these moves aren't played, your bluff becomes less and less predictable.

There comes a point where no one knows if you're a complete idiot, or a really, really, really, good poker player.

These moments exist in business. They are all around us in Silicon Valley; not by intention, but by nature. The younger entrepreneurs that set out with ignorance sometimes accomplish what they want to accomplish simply because no one told them how they could fail, or they refused to believe whatever people told them. Those rules and those pathways to failure may not even exist anymore. They may have existed in the past, and those who were more "experienced" may have taken them as friction points and reasons to not start. But those who never had any idea of what was possible or impossible make the rules themselves. They write their future through these unpredictable moves.

As we get older, we play mind games on ourselves and build impossible mental barriers. But by the nature of the technology environment evolving so rapidly, every minute of every day brings new capabilities that can overcome these norms. The next time you say "nah, that isn't possible," ask yourself again. You may be surprised by the answer.

Seeing the Best in Everyone

Call it na?veté but I believe that everyone has good side that is either already out there, or buried deep inside by various experiences that crafted their upbringing. But in the context of business, I speak of the ability for young entrepreneurs and leaders to believe in people and their capacity for doing good, seeing things through, and doing right for others. I see this as a function of how many others have done the same for them.

Of course there are parasites. There are those who are up to no good. Sometimes they slip through. But a healthy dose of social validation can usually do the trick.

Ultimately those who have potential and ambition see the opportunity to work with someone who only wants to bring out the best in them. Someone who acknowledges that it is natural to have weaknesses and areas that need improvement. Growing up is always about learning how to best accentuate those strengths and to make sure that there are people around you whose strengths support your weaknesses.

I've found that those who present themselves as untrustworthy – preying on weaknesses and refusing to see the best as to maintain a level of suspicion – are those who ultimately get taken advantage of. That's because people are naturally defensive in these situations. When the people around you are thinking about how to defend themselves, there is no ability to unlock their potential.

Age is Just a Number

I believe that age is just a number. Being young is a frame of mind. I really hope that I'll look back on this post many years from now to see that I've maintained my youth, even if the years are starting to show in another way.

Stay young,