After you put years into a relationship, it’s hard to simply walk away. Get to the bottom of your disagreements and rescue your relationship with the following tips.
在你们的婚姻维持了那么多年之后，要想简单的走开是很难的。弄清楚你们的不合到底在哪，然后按照下面的提示来挽救你们的婚姻吧。
You Will Need 你将需要：
* Honesty *真诚
* Listening skills *倾听的技巧
* Emotional availability *充满爱意
* Activities and outings *活动和郊游
* Counseling *建议
* New patterns *新形象
* Forgiveness *原谅
* "I" language (optional) *“我“的说话方式（可选）
* Flirtatiousness (optional) *调情（可选）
Step 1: Lay your problems on the table
步骤1：把你们的问题摆到桌面上来
Don’t expect your relationship to improve if you aren’t telling your partner what bothers you. Honestly express your needs and insecurities in a non-threatening, non-accusatory way so your partner doesn’t get defensive.
如果你不告诉你的另一半到底是什么问题烦扰着你，那就别指望能改善你们之间的关系。真诚的表达你的需求和不安，不要用威胁或者指责的语气，这样你的另一半就不会闭锁心扉。
Use “I” language instead of “you” language. Say “I feel upset” instead of “you make me feel upset.”
使用”我“的说话方式而不是”你“的说话方式。可以说”我很烦“，而不要说”你让我很烦“。
Step 2: Listen to your spouse
步骤2：倾听你的配偶
Tune in to your partner when they talk instead of thinking about your next retort. If you can understand what motivates their behavior, you may be able to see them in a new, empathetic light.
当你的另一半讲话的时候，要听进去，不要去想着你下一轮的反驳。如果你能够明白是什么促使他（她）这么做，你或许能够带着新的、情感的眼光去看待他（她）。
Step 3: Be emotionally available
步骤3：要充满爱意
Be emotionally available to your partner, even when you don’t have a specific problem to work out. Give physical affection freely and empathize when they talk about problems in other areas of their life.
要对你的另一半充满爱意，即使你没有什么特别的问题要解决。多一些亲昵的行为，当他（她）谈到生活中其它方面的问题时，要表示出同情理解。
Step 4: Bond over fun time
步骤4：玩乐增加感情
Plan activities and outings to have “fun time” with your significant other, which can help rekindle the romance and remind you why you fell in love. If your relationship is in serious trouble, think about taking a second honeymoon.
计划一些活动和郊游，与你的至尊重要的那位共度“欢乐时光”，这能重新燃起浪漫，让你回想起当初为何陷入爱河。假如你们的婚姻遇到了大麻烦，考虑一下度第二次蜜月吧。
Flirt with your partner when they don’t expect it to reinforce their self-esteem and stoke the flame of your romance.
在你的另一半没预料到的时刻与他（她）调调情，这会增强他（她）的自尊，增添你们的浪漫火焰。
Step 5: Seek out counseling
步骤5：寻求建议
Seek advice from professionals if your relationship suffers a major blow, such as from cheating.
如果你们的婚姻遭受重创，比如出轨，那就向专业人士寻求建议吧。
Step 6: Create new patterns
步骤6：树立新形象
Commit to new ways of relating to your partner to put an end to bad patterns. If you agreed to spend less time golfing or to cut back on nagging, stick to it.
向你的另一半保证痛改前非。假如你承诺少花点时间打高尔夫或者少点唠唠叨叨，那就坚持做下去。
Step 7: Forgive
步骤7：原谅
Forgive your partner for their mistakes. Forgiveness is the best possible way to get over an affair and to preserve lasting bliss.
原谅你的另一半所犯的错误。原谅是从问题中解脱出来、保证长久幸福的最好方法。
A 2007 survey found that men are twice as likely as women to cheat more than once.
PS：2007年的一个调查发现，男人出轨一次以上的可能性是女人的两倍。
联系客服
