你以为的爱，有很多条件，不是吗？你对另一半设定的所有条件，你对他所有的期待，如果明天它们都破灭了，你的这个爱会变成愤怒，然后是恨。所以如果想保持你的爱，我们必须控制这个人：他只能做你期望他做的事！否则，这美妙的爱就会变成丑陋的愤怒。
——Sadhguru
Is there such thing as unconditional love? Sadhguru takes a straight look at love, what it is and what it isn’t.
有“无条件的爱”这回事吗？萨古鲁带我们直视“爱”——什么是爱，什么不是爱。
The groom tying the Mangalasutra to his bride; wedding at Linga Bhairavi.
这个新郎正在给他的新娘绑Mangalasutra，婚礼在 Linga Bhairavi（灵伽贝拉维）女神大殿举行。
Question: Love seems to be the driving force in my life. I think I am a little confused about being one with someone versus having unconditional love for someone.
问：爱好像是我生命中的动力，我对与某人融为一体 vs. 对别人无条件的爱两者感到有点困惑。
Sadhguru: Is it really unconditional?
Sadhguru（萨古鲁）：是真的无条件吗？
Question: I don’t know. Okay, maybe not.
问：我不知道，好吧，也许不是。
Sadhguru: There are any number of conditions, isn’t it? All the conditions you have set for the other person, all the expectations you have of the other person, if they are all broken tomorrow, the same love will turn into anger and then hatred. So if we have to maintain your love, we have to control the other person in such a way that he does only what you expect him to do! Otherwise, this wonderful love will turn into very nasty anger.
Sadhguru（萨古鲁）：有很多条件，不是吗？你对另一半设定的所有条件，你对他所有的期待，如果明天它们都破灭了，你的这个爱会变成愤怒，然后是恨。所以如果想保持你的爱，我们必须控制这个人：他只能做你期望他做的事！否则，这美妙的爱就会变成丑陋的愤怒。
Love is a Fragile Dimension of Life
爱是生命脆弱的维度
I am not trying to belittle relationships, but there is nothing wrong in looking at the limitations of what it is. It has limitations, but that does not mean it has no beauty. A flower is so beautiful, but if I crush it, it will become manure in two days. I can destroy a flower in a moment, but does that reduce the beauty and significance of what the flower is? No. Similarly, your love is fragile. Do not believe fanciful things about it. At the same time, I am not denying the beauty that is attached to it.
我不想贬低关系，但是去审视它的局限并没有错。它有局限，但不代表它没有美。一朵花如此之美，可是如果我捏碎了它，过两天它就变成花肥了。我可以瞬间破坏一朵花，但这会减少这朵花的美和意义吗？不。同样，你的爱很脆弱，不要去相信那些关于爱的花哨东西。与此同时，我并不否认爱身上的美。
But if you make such a fragile dimension of life the foundation of your life, you will naturally be anxiety-ridden all the time because you are sitting on such a fragile flower. Suppose you built your house not on the earth but on a flower because it is beautiful, you will always live in fear. If you built your foundations on the earth and looked at the flower, smelt it and touched it, that would be wonderful. But if you built your house on the flower, you are constantly in fear. I am speaking only in that context. We are not trying to deny what love is.
但是如果你把生命中如此脆弱的维度作为生命的基石，你自然会一直充满焦虑，因为你坐在这么脆弱的一朵花上。假如你的房子不是建在土地上，而是因为花很美而建在一朵花上，那么你会一直生活在恐惧中。如果你把地基建在土地上，你可以看着花，闻一闻，碰一碰，这会很美好。但是如果你在花朵上盖房子，你会一直处在担忧中。我只是就这一点谈论，不是在否认爱。
Love as a Need
爱作为一种需要
On one level, if you look at it – I do not want to generalize this totally, but for many people it is so – love is just one more need without which they cannot live. As the body has its needs, the emotion has its needs. When I say, “I cannot live without you,” it is not any different from me saying, “I cannot walk without a crutch.” If you had a diamond-encrusted crutch, you could very easily fall in love with it. And if after you used this crutch for ten years, I tell you, “Now you can walk free,” you would say “No, how can I leave my crutch.” There is no life sense in this. Similarly, in the name of love, you make yourself so absolutely helpless and incomplete within yourself.
在某个层面上，如果你看一下——我不想一概而论，但对于大部分人是这样的——爱只是又一种需要，没了它他们就活不下去。正如身体有它的需要，情感也有它的需要。当我说“没你我活不下去”，这和我说“我不能离开拐杖走路”没什么不同。如果你有一个镶嵌着钻石的拐杖，你很容易爱上它。并且如果你用了这个拐杖10年，我告诉你，“现在你可以自由行走了。”你会说，“不，我怎能离开我的拐杖呢！”这其中没有生命感。同样，以爱的名义，你让自己的内在变得如此无助和不完整。
Does it mean to say there is no beauty and no other dimension to this? There is. There have been many people who lived in such a way that they could not exist without the other. If it really becomes like that, that two beings have become like one, then that is wonderful.
这意味着爱没有任何美妙和其他维度可言吗？不是的。还是有很多人彼此紧紧相连、不可分割，如果两个人像这样融为一体，那就很美妙。
The Story of the Queen’s Love
一个王后的爱的故事
This happened to a king in Rajasthan, India. He had a young wife who loved him and was totally dedicated to him. But kings always had a lot of concubines. So he thought it was quite silly, the way she was deeply engrossed in him. He was amused and he liked the attention, but sometimes it was too much. Then he would shake her off a little bit, and carry on with many others, but the woman was totally dedicated to him.
这发生在印度拉贾斯坦的一个国王身上。他有一个年轻的王后，非常爱他，完全把自己奉献给他。但是国王总是有很多妃子，所以他觉得王后那种深切的迷恋十分愚蠢。他觉得有趣也喜欢那种被关注的感觉，但是有时候感觉太过了。于是他会甩掉她一些日子，和别的女人在一起，但是这个女人还是全然地爱他。
The king jokingly asked, “Is that so for you? Do you love me that much?'
这个国王开玩笑地问，“你也是这样吗？你也有那么爱我吗？”
The king and queen had two talking mynas, which are tropical birds that can speak better than a parrot if you train them. One day, one of these birds died, and the other one just sat there without eating food. The king did everything possible to feed the bird, but the bird just would not take in any food, and died in two days’ time.
国王和王后有两只会说话的八哥，这是一种热带的鸟，如果你训练它们，它们比鹦鹉还会说话。有一天，其中一只八哥死了，另外一只就只是坐着不吃东西。国王想尽办法喂食，但这只鸟就是什么都不吃，两天后就死了。
This somehow touched the king. “What is this? It is natural for any life to value its own life first. But this bird just sat there and died.”
这有点触动到国王。“这是怎么回事？任何生命不都是本能的把自己的生命放在首位吗？但是这只鸟就只是坐着死去。”
When he said this, the wife said, “When someone really loves someone else, it is very natural for them to go away with the other, because life would not mean anything for them later.”
当他说这些的时候，他的王后说，“当一个人真的爱另一个人的时候，对他们来说随另一半而去是很自然的，因为那时候生命对于他们再无意义可言。”
The king jokingly asked, “Is that so for you? Do you love me that much?”
这个国王开玩笑的问道，“你也是这样吗？你有那么爱我吗？”
She said, “Yes, it is so for me.” The king was very amused by this.
她说。“是的，我对你也是如此。”国王觉得这太有意思了。
One day, the king went out hunting with his friends. This thought about the birds dying and his wife saying that it was also true for her was sort of playing in his mind. He really wanted to check it out. So he took his clothes, bloodied them and sent them back to the palace with someone who announced, “The king was mauled by a tiger and killed.” The queen received his clothes with great dignity, without a tear in her eyes. She arranged for firewood, put the clothes on top of it, and then laid herself on the firewood and died.
有一天，这个国王和他的朋友外出狩猎。那两只鸟的死亡和王后说的话在他的脑中晃荡，他很想去检验一下真假。于是他脱下衣服，弄得它们血淋淋的，然后让人送回宫，并对王后宣布：“国王被老虎咬死了。”王后极其庄重地接过衣服，没有一滴眼泪。她准备了柴火，把衣服放在上面，然后自己躺上去，死了。
People just could not believe this. The queen just lay down and left. There was nothing else to do because she was dead, so they cremated her. When the news went to the king, he was broken. Just on a whim he wanted to play with her and she actually died – not committing suicide, she left just like that.
人们简直无法相信。王后就那么躺上去离开了。什么也做不了，因为她已经死了，于是人们把她火化了。这个消息传到国王那里时，他崩溃了。他只是心血来潮跟她开个玩笑，而她真的死了，不是自杀，而是就那样走了。
Mangalsutra: Entwining Two Lives Together
Mangalsutra：把两个生命交织在一起
People have loved like this because somewhere, two beings got entwined. In India, there was a whole science behind how marriage was conducted. When two people were to be married, it was not just the compatibility of the families and bodies that was looked at. The energy compatibility was looked at.
有些人就是如此相爱，因为某种程度他们已经交织为一体了。在印度，有一整套关于婚礼程序的科学，两个人结婚的时候，不仅要看家庭和身体上的兼容性，还要看能量的兼容性。
Most of the time, the two people would not have even seen each other. It did not matter because the compatibility had been fixed by someone who knew this better than them. If they themselves made choices, they would make choices depending upon the shape of the nose, the eyes and this and that, which will not mean anything three days after the wedding. If your wife has wonderful eyes but she only glares at you, what is the point?
大部分情况下，这两个人是没有见过面的。这没有关系，因为会有比他们更了解的专门人士，为他们考虑好了彼此的兼容性。如果他们自己做选择，他们只会根据对方鼻子、眼睛或者这个那个的模样来选择，这些结婚三天后就不会有任何意义了。如果你的妻子有一双漂亮的眼睛，但她总是瞪着你，又有什么意义呢？
Mangalsutra means a sacred thread. Preparing a sacred thread is an elaborate science.
Mangalsutra 是指一根经圣化的线，这是一门精微的科学。
When marriages were fixed by someone who knew, they prepared something called a mangalsutra. Mangalsutra means a sacred thread. Preparing a sacred thread is an elaborate science. We make a few strands of raw cotton, smear it with vermilion and turmeric, and then it is energized in a certain way. Once this is tied, it is for life and beyond.
当深谙此道的人士安排婚姻的时候，他们会准备mangalsutra，mangalsutra意思是一根圣化的线，准备这根圣化的线是一门精微的科学。我们将几缕生棉线，抹上一些朱砂和姜黄，然后用特定的方式赋予能量。一旦被绑上，它就是贯穿此生，以及此生之外的。
There have been situations where the same couples have remained as couples for lifetimes, consciously choosing to be like that because they employed ways to tie people together not just on the physical or emotional level. What you do on the level of the body, mind and emotion goes with death. But what you do on the level of the energy stays on. You can actually tie peoples’ nadis together. This is why it was considered that once it is done, it is for life. There is no question of reconsidering because something far deeper than your understanding has been tied together by people who knew what to do.
有一些夫妻有意识地选择那样做，累世都保持夫妻的关系，因为他们采用了一些方法，使得他们不仅仅是在身体和情感层面上保持连结。你在身体、头脑和情感层面上所做的事，随着死亡都会消失，但在能量层面所做的事会一直持续。你还真的可以把人们的nidhis（气脉）绑在一起。这也是为什么一旦那么做了，那就是一辈子的事情。要改变主意都不可能了，因为某种比你所能理解的更深层的东西，已经被那些深谙此道的人绑在一起了。
What you do on the level of the body, mind and emotion goes with death. But what you do on the level of the energy stays on.
你在身体、头脑和情感层面的操作都会随着死亡而消失，但在能量层面所做的事会持续。
Nowadays, the same procedure is done, but by people who do not know what to do. So people are naturally refusing, “We don’t want to wear the damn thread.” Whether you wear it or not does not mean anything now, because the science behind it has been lost.
如今，流程虽然相同，但是是那些外行人操作的。所以人们自然会拒绝，“我们才不想戴那该死的线。”不管你戴不戴，现在都没有什么意义了，因为这背后的科学已经消失了。
When it was done by someone who knew how to do it, then for those two people, it does not arise in their mind, “Should this person be my wife or not?” “Is this man going to be my husband forever?” It just goes on. Even with death it does not stop.
如果是由那些深谙此道的人执行，那么对于那二人来说，就不会再想：“我的妻子该是这个人吗？”“这个人会永远做我的丈夫吗？” 这种连结会一直持续下去，即使死亡也不能停止它。
There are any number of couples in India where if one dies, the other one will follow within a few months even if they are healthy, simply because the energies were tied like this. If you are bound like that with another human being, that two beings exist as one, that is a wonderful way to exist. It is not an ultimate possibility, but it is still a beautiful way to live.
在印度有很多夫妻，其中一个死了以后，另一个也会在几个月内死亡，即使他们的身体仍然健康。这仅仅是因为他们之间有能量上的连结。如果你能像这样和另外一个人连结在一起，两个人如同一个人存在，这就是一种美妙的存在方式。这虽然不是终极的可能性，但依然是一种美丽的活法。
Love is not the Goal
爱不是目标
Today, when people talk about love, they are talking only about the emotional part of it. Emotions will say one thing today and another thing tomorrow. When you first made the relationship, you thought, “This is forever,” but within three months you think, “Oh, why the hell am I with this person?” Because it is going by what you like and what you do not like. In this kind of relationship, you will only suffer because when a relationship is unstable – when it is off and on – you will go through enormous pain and suffering which is totally unnecessary.
如今，当人们谈起爱，只谈论爱的情感部分。情感今天是这样，但明天会变成另一个样子。当你刚刚建立这段关系时，你会想，“它将持续到永远。”但不到三个月，你会想，“啊，我为什么会和这个人在一起？”因为它是随着你的喜恶而改变的。在这种关系中，你只会感到痛苦，因为当一段关系不稳定时——当这段关系断断续续时——你会遭受很多痛苦和折磨，而这本完全没必要。
The idea of love is not to create pain, though a lot of poetry about pain has been written. The reason why you go into love is because it is supposed to bring you blissfulness. Love is not the goal; blissfulness is the goal. People are mad about falling in love with someone, though they have been wounded and bruised any number of times, because when they thought they were in love, there was a little bit of blissfulness in them. Love is just a currency for blissfulness. Right now, that is the only way most people know how to be blissful.
爱不是要创造痛苦的，虽然人们写了很多诗歌是关于爱的痛苦。你会进入爱是因为它本该为你带来喜悦。爱不是目的，喜悦才是。人们总是渴望陷入爱河，即便他们已经受过很多次伤。因为当他们觉得自己在爱里时，他们会有一点幸福感。爱只是喜悦的一种手段。现在，它是大多数人获得喜悦的唯一手段。
But there is a way to be blissful by your own nature. If you are blissful, being loving is not a problem; you will anyway be loving. Only when you are seeking blissfulness through love, then you are very selective about whom to be loving with. But when you are blissful, whatever you see, you can be loving with that because there is no fear of entanglement. When there is no fear of entanglement, only then you will know involvement with life.
但是有一种方式，让你的本性自发地喜悦。如果你是喜悦的，变得有爱就不是问题，无论怎样你都是有爱的。只有当你想通过爱获得喜悦时，你才会挑剔去爱谁。但是当你本身就很喜悦，不管你看到什么，你都会对它很有爱，因为这其中没有纠缠的恐惧。只有当纠缠的恐惧不在时，你才会知晓对生命的投入。
isha.sadhguru.org/in/en/wisdom/article/what-love-is-what-love-is-not
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