1、Make your relationship a priority. 要把婚姻放在首要位置。
结婚以后，双方要达成共识，把自己的配偶摆在第一位，这是建立稳固关系的出发点。
The mental shift from me to we can be startling: You’re a team—responsible to someone else in a new and profound way. Claudia Arp, who with her husband, David, founded Marriage Alive International and co-authored marriage books including 10 Great Dates to Energize Your Marriage, comments, “We see a lot of husbands and wives who never, ever reprioritize their relationship after marriage. They’re still entwined with their family of origin, putting their parents and siblings first. Or they’ve been on their own for years and don’t realize that their friends or job or other interests no longer take precedence. You need to be able to say ‘My spouse comes first.’ This is your anchor relationship. If you establish this now, it will be easier to hold on to when life becomes more complicated later in your marriage.”
2、Create couples rituals.相敬如宾
沟通、金钱管理以及健康的情绪是决定婚姻质量的最重要的三个方面。夫妻双方要有共同的兴趣爱好，以及都能接受的沟通方式。
Establishing a healthy boundary around your union isn’t always easy: When University of California, Los Angeles, researchers interviewed 172 newlywed couples, problems with in-laws and other relatives ranked with communication, money management, and moodiness as top challenges. Do something regularly that bonds you, such as 10 minutes to chat before bed, always having morning coffee together, listening to music, or saving Saturday for date night. Give yourself permission to cocoon.
3、Check in daily. 每日一省
每天抽出几分钟来交谈，你们会发现自己轻松愉快很多。
Marriage experts recommend couples do something that big business has employed for decades to keep workers happy, productive, and in the loop: hold regular team meetings. Luckily, yours will be more fun than listening to Bob from accounting go over the last month’s sales numbers. One version of the daily check-in helps couples keep communication flowing freely with an agenda.
4、Ask: Is it good for our relationship? 时常问自己：这个决定对我们的婚姻有何影响？
当你做出一个决定时，不要只考虑这个决定对个人有不有好处，而是权衡它对婚姻的利弊。
When you bump up against any important decision in your marriage, don’t just talk about whether it’s good for you and for your spouse. Make it a point to talk about and think about whether it’s good for your marriage. “You’ll know the answer almost intuitively if you stop and ponder it,” Dr. Love notes. This may come down to how much time something will take away from your time together, whether it will make things stressful between you, or if it involves people who in some way threaten your relationship (lunch with your ex, for example). If you don’t even want to ask the question, that’s a red flag that whatever it is—from working late to “surprising” your spouse with an expensive new living room sofa to making individual plans on your usual date night—isn’t going to be good for your marriage.
