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孩子没事老抱怨,多半是欠打|How to Handle a Bored Child


Sunday

We can always hear the kids’ crying wherever we go, why? It turns out that they feel bored, and unable to find the things that entertain them. But what should parents do? Does beat them up work out? Not really.

生活中,总会听到孩子们的哭闹声,为什么呢?多半是闲的,找不到能够契合他们心理的东西,这个时候,打一顿就好啦?并不。

Parents often feel guilty if children complain of boredom. But it’s actually more constructive to see boredom as an opportunity rather than a deficit. Parents do have a role, but rushing in with ready-made solutions is not helpful. Rather, children need the adults around them to understand that creating their own pastimes requires space, time and the possibility of making a mess (within limits–and to be cleared up afterwards by the children themselves).

如果孩子抱怨自己无聊,父母常常会感到内疚。但是把孩子无聊时光看作是一个好的时机实际上更具建设性。父母确实能起到作用,但用现成的解决方案是没有帮助的。相反,孩子需要他们身边的大人们明白,要创造孩子们自己的消遣时光需要空间,时间,还有可能制造出来一些混乱(在极限内—并由孩子自己清理)。

They will need some materials too, but these need not be sophisticated–simple things are often more versatile. We’ve all heard of the toddler ignoring the expensive present and playing with the box it came in instead. For older children, a magnifying glass, some planks of wood, a basket of wool, and so on, might be the start of many happily occupied hours.

他们还需要一些材料,但这些不必太复杂—简单的东西通常更具有创造性。我们都听说过幼儿忽略了昂贵的礼物反而玩起了它的盒子。对于年龄较大的孩子,放大镜,一些木板,一篮羊毛等等,可能是许多幸福有效的时间的开始。

But to get the most benefit from times of potential boredom, indeed from life in general, children also need inner resources as well as material ones. Qualities such as curiosity, perseverance, playfulness, interest and confidence allow them to explore, create and develop powers of inventiveness, observation and concentration. These also help them to learn not to be deterred if something doesn’t work the first time, and try again. By encouraging the development of such capacities, parents offer children something of lifelong value.

但是从生活中来看,为了使孩子们从所谓的无聊时光中受益,孩子像需求物质资源一样同时需求内在资源。诸如孩子们需要拥有好奇心,毅力,娱乐性,兴趣和信心等素质使他们能够探索,创造和发展创造力,观察力和集中力。这些也帮助他们学会不被困难打倒,即使第一次的尝试失败,他们也可以继续尝试。通过鼓励这种能力的发展,父母为孩子提供终身受益的东西。

If a child has run out of ideas, giving them some kind of challenge can prompt them to continue to amuse themselves imaginatively. This could range from asking them to find out what kind of food their toy dinosaurs enjoy in the garden to going off and creating a picture story with some friends and a digital camera.

如果一个孩子没有想法,可以给他们更多的挑战来促使他们继续用想象力自娱自乐。这可能包括从要求他们找到他们的玩具恐龙在花园里享用什么样的食物,到与一些朋友用数码相机创造一个图片故事。

Most parents would agree that they want to raise self-reliant individuals who can take initiatives and think for themselves. But filling a child’s time for them teaches nothing but dependence on external stimulus, whether material possessions or entertainment. Providing nurturing conditions and trusting children’s natural inclination to engage their minds is far more likely to produce independent, competent children, full of ideas.

大多数家长都会同意,要把他们的孩子培养成具有独立思考和行动能力自立的个体。可是家长们又不能陪伴引导孩子,而是用一些专业课或者娱乐设施来填充孩子们的时间。相信孩子们的自然倾向,给孩子们提供一个宽松的培养条件,真正的引导孩子,更有可能培养出独立的,有能力的,有想法的孩子。

In fact, there’s a lesson here for all of us. Switching off, doing nothing and letting the mind wander can be great for adults too–we should all try to do more of it.

事实上,这给我们所有人都上了一课。放下手上的事情,什么也不做,享受一下空白时光对成年人来说也是很好的,我们都应该尽量多这样做。


 
 作者:灯塔妈妈
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